Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall gives speech on domestic abuse to “pull back that shroud of silence”

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall gives speech on domestic abuse to “pull back that shroud of silence”

On July 14, Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall held a reception at Clarence House for domestic abuse survivors and campaigners. The Duchess gave a speech saying that we need to “pull back that shroud of silence” in order to eradicate domestic abuse from our society.

Camilla domestic violence reception

Camilla has been involved with ending sexual violence toward women for years now, but in January of this year she visited SafeLives and met with survivors of domestic abuse and family members of those who lost their lives to domestic abuse. Camilla held this reception as a part of her continued support of this issue.

Camilla’s speech at the reception:

    “Domestic abuse remains a hidden problem in our society. It is characterised by silence – silence from those who suffer, silence from those around them and silence from those who perpetrate abuse. This silence is corrosive: it leaves women, children – and men – carrying the burden of shame, it prevents them from speaking out about their abuse and it prevents them from getting help. And at its worst, it can be fatal.
    “Now in January this year, I was fortunate enough to spend time with some of the bravest women I have been privileged to meet. Some of you are here today and I am delighted to be able to welcome you. Their experiences touched not only their lives but also the lives of those around them, in the most tragic ways.
    “I spoke to courageous women who had survived abuse as well as to mothers, sisters, daughters, and friends of those who had been killed. Their silence was broken – but only after a tragedy. I hope very much that today might mark a moment when we start to pull back that shroud of silence. I hope we can talk about what is happening behind closed doors across the country and I hope that these brave people have the courage to speak out and to be, in the words of one of our guests, ‘victors not victims’.
    “Of course a new conversation has been starting in a place where many might not have expected it. Thanks to the Archers, millions of people now have some understanding of what living with relentless coercive behaviour is really like and I’m delighted that Louiza Patikas, who plays the unfortunate Helen is here today.
    “Now some of you in this room know, only too well, that coercive control nearly always is the beginning of domestic abuse. Some of you are already working tirelessly to try to eradicate it from our society. I hope very much that all of you will find a chance to make significant connections today and find new ways to bring this problem out into the open – so that together we can make sure that the voices of those who are living with abuse today are not silenced, but clearly heard.”

[princeofwales.gov.uk]

In case you are wondering what The Archers reference was, The Archers is a long-running British radio soap opera broadcast which ran a domestic abuse storyline which recently culminated with a woman stabbing her husband after suffering years of abuse. Louiza Patikas is the actress who plays the woman at the heart of that storyline, Helen Titchener.

Sir Patrick Stewart was at the reception. Stewart is a long-time campaigner for women and children affected by domestic abuse after witnessing the abuse his mother faced at the hands of his father. Here’s a 2009 Guardian article he wrote that will break your heart, and here is a speech he gave in 2009, and here is a video of a response he gave in 2013 at a comic con. I love Patrick Stewart because of Professor X and Captain Picard, but knowing that he is such a supporter of domestic abuse survivors makes me love him even more.

Camilla and Patrick Stewart at domestic violence reception
[Clarence House @ClarenceHouse]

I’m really glad that Camilla is continuing her support of this issue. Domestic violence and abuse needs to be spoken of, brought into the light, so that people are more willing to get help and so that the people who do seek help are believed. This is such an important issue.

Domestic abuse hotlines:

  • 1-800-799-7233 (US)
  • 1-800-787-3224 (US-TTY)
  • 0808 2000 247 (UK)

Domestic abuse websites:

  • http://www.ncadv.org/ (US)
  • http://www.thehotline.org/ (US)
  • http://www.safelives.org.uk/ (UK)
  • http://www.refuge.org.uk/ (UK)

In my article about Camilla’s SafeLives visit, I wrote about Rachel Williams who was nearly killed when her husband shot her in 2011. Rebecca English at the Daily Mail did a great article on Williams which you can read here.

After the reception at Clarence House, Camilla stopped by the Commonwealth Women Leaders’ Summit to show her support.

PS. This year is the worst. My thoughts are with the families of all those who died in the last couple days.

60 thoughts on “Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall gives speech on domestic abuse to “pull back that shroud of silence”

  1. I am absolutely a Camilla sugar. She has chosen things she believes in and backs them 100%. And she’s not doing fluff subjects, but ones that have lingered too long in the dark. Keep up the great work Camilla!

    1. I used to dislike Camilla because of the Diana thing, then I was ambivalent, but now I really like her because she supports causes I care about.

      1. Your posts about Camilla’s work for the benefit of society have been softening my previously iron-clad resistance to her. Each post has been eye-opening in its own way. If I can’t quite like her, I have to respect and admire her engagement.

  2. Camilla has proved herself a woman of great substance. She tackles a very ugly issue that has lifelong crippling repercussions for so many people and that has a history of being denied or ignored. Brava, Camilla.

  3. Whilst to many she remains a divisive figure, I have huge admiration for the dignity and pride with which she has carried herself and the way she wants other women to have their dignity and pride. Those sponge bags she initiated for post rape victims were a beautiful idea and I love the way she does things on a small scale. No need for headline grabbing stunts……just Camiila quietly getting on with it with no fuss and fanfare. The Christmas party she has at Clarence House every year for severely disabled children is another example of her nurturing and caring for others. I admire her hugely and I think the Prince of Wales simply could not cope without her.

    This is another initiative that has come straight from her heart and I noticed that Sandra Horley from Refuge who was a great Diana supporter was helping Camilla with this engagement. I just wish people could move on and leave the past in the past. Not forget but just accept that this lady is a force for good in this country, she’s good for the heir to the throne and she gives back in her own, quiet, dignified manner,

    1. Mrs BBV, I couldn’t agree more. So tired of cheap, vicious comments about Camilla. I wonder about the mental state of people who continue to hold onto their vitriol towards her for events that happened decades ago. Camilla has proved to be worthy of respect.

      1. I wonder if people dislike and take their angry out on Camilla not because of the human she is, but the idea she represents. Camilla represents “The Other Woman” whom the man cheated on his wife with, whom he left his wife for. I wonder if people take their own insecurities about being cheated on out on Camilla?

          1. People are brought up with fairy tales and ‘happily ever after’ buried into their subconscious and here was a beautiful Princess who had her fairytale taken from her, so they believe. It’s like a Disney story gone wrong and people just can’t accept that there isn’t someone to blame.

    2. Beautifully said, Mrs BBV. Bringing this issue to public attention – even momentarily in this crazy world – is very, very important. I am glad Camilla is using her public persona to do this.

      I don’t know the ins and outs of Camilla’s past; perhaps it is best to leave the past where it is, and focus on what we can be and do now.

    3. Years ago, KMR’s blog really helped me accept Camilla and see her as more than the “3rd person in the marriage” Diana so famously remarked on. She has had a life full of ups and downs and disappointments, many high profile because of who she is. But she is not afraid to dig in when something matters to her and carries herself with such aplomb, I admire her in so many ways (plus she’s a reader ladies, she’s one of ours!). I also think her and Charles really do love and respect each other. I wish her only happiness and good fortune.

    4. I suppose one’s opinion of Camilla depends on when and how you were introduced to her. I knew nothing about the BRF until I did a semester abroad in London in college. I was there the year Diana died, living not far from KP. Realizing that I was in the middle of one of those significant cultural moments, I began reading everything I could about Diana, and the BRF. Of course, each bookstore had Diana bios front and center, and Morton got a ton of publicity releasing his bio again, this time “in her own words”. So I read that first, and thought it was the most self-serving tripe I had ever read. The book was so biased, full of “look at poor me” stories, and stories that had already revealed to be exaggerations if not flat out falsehoods that I didn’t like Diana from the get go. I didn’t like Charles that much either but felt quite a bit of sympathy for him. So ice alwYs been a bit wary of people who praise St. Diana because reading between the lines of her own book, she came across poorly. But if I had grown up hearing about her, I probably would have loved her, like my best friend does.

      1. I absolutely loved Diana but even that doesn’t blind me to the fact she must have been incredibly difficult to be with. The more I understand her the more I think that BPD might well have been the issue. But there were real elements of histrionic and narcissistic personality traits there too.

        Add to the mix a very selfish, entitled man who’s used to be first all his life and through no fault of his own is carrying his own baggage and it’s just a disaster waiting to happen. I thank God he found the soothing presence of a Camilla as I genuinely believe he would have been a tragedy too.

        Andrew Parker-Bowles was a roaming cad of the highest order. Barely no knicker elastic had gone untwanged in London by that letch. The idea that Camilla is solely to blame is just madness. It was a tragedy for everyone involved but with the benefit of age I can see all of them suffering and all of them taking solace elsewhere as a coping strategy.

        I’m just glad that three of them found their peace. That Diana never did is desperately sad but even had she lived I don’t think she ever would have had a life without drama. It was just not in her nature.

          1. He’s a very charming man by all accounts but I believe Camilla had a hell of a job keeping his flies zipped up! And she learned to accommodate his rampant infidelity. There is rumour that in Jilly Cooper’s books APB is the the real life person that Rupert Campbell-Black and Drew Benedict were based on. Never denied but Jilly Cooper was a very close friend of Camilla when the PB’s lived in the Cotswolds. Xx

        1. “Barely no knicker elastic had gone untwanged in London by that letch.”

          That’s made my night – I have chuckled on that morsel since reading it. I can just picture it, though I really don’t want to. These people just can’t keep their pants on.

          1. I think they have a very different view to ‘sex’ and ‘sex and love’. I’m not sure if it’s a combination of class and age or just a class thing. In the past it used to be about avoiding divorce and therefore having to break up estates and money in divorce settlements But the whole separate sleeping arrangements and then just joining each other for ‘companionship’ is odd too. The day hubby and I go to separate rooms (he snores like a juggernaut changing gear on the motorway) would be the day our relationship would be over. I think they just like to think they are far too superior to be bothered about a little fling breaking up the status quo. Don’t frighten the horses and all that! Xx

    5. I agree totally. Leave the past where it belongs, in the past. Camilla has my admiration for taking on this outstanding cause. I am, unfortunately, very very familiar with this issue and it does have horrendous long lasting consequences. Women remain silent and ashamed, children are afraid to talk, men are embarrassed, and with someone like Camilla who has in a very real way been a victim of abuse in the press speaking out people will listen. She has been called names, blamed for the divorce, and who knows what else, but what does she do? Turns it into a way of helping others. (and btw my experience with domestic violence and abuse isn’t due to my husband, it matters to me that you know that.)

  4. I am so glad to hear someone talk about the “shroud of silence” that surrounds domestic violence. As a survivor of domestic violence I know all too well about the silence the victims endure due to shame and a sense of helplessness. As I am sure most of you are aware, recently it came to light that a well known Hollywood actor was accused of abusing his wife, the swiftness at which many came to his defence and turned the blame back on the victim was truly stunning. It is this type of behavior that perpetuates the shame the victims feel and helps the silence to continue. Again, I am so glad that Camilla is bringing light to this dark issue and thank you KMR for covering her speech and work in this area.

    1. I hope that you are feeling strong and healthy and surrounded by loved ones after your own ordeal. Thank you for sharing with us.

      1. Hi Shelly, thanks for your concern. My incidents happened so long ago that it feels like a different lifetime. At the time however, it did take the help of another for me to be free and to understand that the blame did not lie with me. I am firm believer in learning from difficult times and those incidents, as well as others, have taught me to treat myself with respect, to set boundaries with others and to not tolerate those that don’t respect me or my boundaries. Now, this doesn’t rent a lot of space in my mind these days and hasn’t for quite some time, but when a public figure speaks out on this subject it really does make me hopeful that someday victims will no longer have to stay silent and that perpetrators will be able to come forward and receive the help they need.

        1. Very happy to hear that you are healing Lauri from Ca. People who think it’s just a simple matter of walking away are wrong, very very very wrong. And as said up thread, the fact that Camilla makes this about the victims, the work, the workers, and doesn’t need to be in the spotlight is awesome. I don’t know the actor who was accused, but I do know that people need to listen, this isn’t stuff **most** people just make up. To defend someone simply because of their fame is really letting the victims down, and making them feel like they’re screaming into a void. It angers me. A lot. At least have the decency to either shut up or consider both sides. Personally, I think the less said by those who know zip/nothing/nada the better. Perpetrators count on their name value, their position in the community, their wealth, their prestige and ‘connections’.

          1. The actor was Johnny Depp, who has far greater fame and wealth, than the wife that he abuses, Amber Heard. Also, many commentators took Johnny’s side because Amber is bisexual and she is seen as “the other woman”
            That stole Johnny away from his long term gf, Vanessa Paradis.

          2. The fan reaction to the Depp/Heard case is very upsetting to me. I understand not wanting to think the people you like have committed crimes but the treatment Depp stans have given Amber is atrocious.

    2. Big hugs to you Lauri.

      I grew up in a house with abusive parents and my mom’s abusive boyfriends like revolving doors (thank God for my stepmom who was the one element of stability in my life) so seeing Camilla encourage men, women, children, siblings, to all talk about it, I think it’s great.

      I wish this sort of REAL charity work that can change the conversation on abuse and violence was really given the attention it deserves. It makes me peeved to say the least.

  5. This is a wonderful post, KMR. Thank you. I was particularly taken by Camilla’s speech and how the word “Silence,” kept creeping in. The silence must stop when it comes to protecting those who are victms of such violence. I also was mesmerized and saddened by Sir Patrick Steward’s article from The Guardian. Thanks for the link. Again, I was taken by the word silence coming into play in that article in regard to memories Sir Stewart had of his dad coming home . When he was singing a happier song, they felt all would be well. War songs, watch out! But, when he was silent…. That gave me chills.

    Domestic violence affects so many. Here in the States, I can’t tell you how many news articles one reads about a woman who has taken out an order of protection against her husband, or boyfriend, and still dies by his hands . It’s beyond comprehension.

    Camilla is shining a light on this issue and she does so with brave dignity. I applaud her willingness to champion certain causes and stay with them. These are no one shot deals with her.

    Yes, there was a time when I never liked her. I was far too into the corner of Princess Diana. But, I was so young then, and knew so little about the real world. We all make mistakes. We all do things we wish we had not, or we realize that we want someone in our lives and we will do anything to keep that person close to us, even if that person has someone else.

    Camilla has risen above the anger and resentment she faced. She is working to do amazing good for so many. I applaud her actions.

    And, posting the Domestic Hotline numbers is very important, KMR I am glad you did that. Who knows how many people are moved to call for help whenever such sites are brought to their attention.

  6. Camilla has certainly risen above all that hatred and negativity to use her role for good, which is highly commendable. She is more than an accessory to the Prince of Wales, and is using the position for good.

  7. Camilla for the longest time was the horrible other woman to me. As time passed and I grew up, I see there is more to her that is actually good. She not only shows up to her patronages but also tries to make a difference. She’s kept her head down and just kept plodding. I don’t know if the British people over all feel the same way or not.
    Thank you KMR for posting the #s for help. You never know when/where people will decide to get help. My mother had a coworker who was being abused and she tried to get her help, she stayed with us for a bit because she was going to leave him. Instead she ended staying with him and moving to a different city. my mom told me awhile back that she saw on the news where she had been arrested for killing him. Makes me sad just thinking about it.

  8. Thanks a lot for covering this event, KMR!

    I have to say before I got really into the royal fandom I never really cared about Camilla, neither as the “horrible woman” nor as the Duchess of Cornwall, she was just there (okay there was the title I liked as I always wanted to visit Cornwall). But as I got to read more and saw more of her and Charles I really started to appreciate the work they do. They really seem to care, are informed and use their position the best way they can!

    One doesn’t have to like every royal but really would like it if more people would actually pay more attention to their work and see more than galas and nice dresses. There are so many causes and charities out there who need people to care and to help.

    Thanks for also including the hotlines and websites, it’s so important.

  9. I was nearly 19 months old when Charles and Diana married and a teenager when all of the stuff happened between the two and Camilla. While I very much sympathized with Diana at the time, I wasn’t a sugar. In fact, I thought (and still think) it was quite tacky of Diana to call Camilla vile names (“The Rottweiler” comes to mind). Did Diana deserve to be blindsided? No but calling someone names doesn’t make you the better person.

    Anyway, after her passing, and once Charles and Camilla became engaged, I decided to some reading on her and could see why Charles was drawn to her; she was the extrovert to his introvert, the “thinker” to his “feeler”–they’re truly each other’s better half.

    Thanks to KMR, I’ve learned even more about Cam, the charities she supports and how she’s doing the work not just via words or show but by action. I love how she was ever-so-slowly brought into the royal mix (though she was always part of the aristocratic fold) and has had a quiet, positive influence on her husband.

    I’m so glad she’s taking on difficult issues and shining a light on them–especially domestic abuse. I have friends who are victims of abuse (either domestic or otherwise) and it hurts me that they allow it to continue because they don’t know they’re being victimized. I’m sure she’s going to be a fabulous queen consort and think it’s sad how people are holding on to these incredibly old grudges against her, when Diana herself wasn’t perfect (and she knew it).

    Whew! Sorry for the long post again! Anyway, I’d like to share a story of something that happened to me Thursday night while I was out with a friend:

    ******************************************************************
    After dinner with my friend, Amber, we went to Whole Foods Market so that she could do her shopping. While there, we came across a very sweet and friendly family from the area. We started talking and found out that Vince is on the waiting list for a kidney transplant at Shands in Gainesville.

    Of course, those who know me know how stunned I was to come across someone, a person brand new on the waiting list and with hopes of becoming a member of the “transplant family” that I’ve been so blessed to be apart of for 20 years, who just happens to be from the Tallahassee area.

    When he and his wife (Iris) learned of the success with my transplant (heart and lungs) we kept on talking and exchanged name, numbers and e-mail addresses! I hope to get him in touch with some people specifically from the kidney transplant community so that he can talk with those who’ve specifically gone through what he is going through right now (dialysis) and will experience once he receives his transplant.

    I truly don’t think our “accidentally meeting” was an accident at all. I believe it was arranged by God either for Vince (to show that transplant can be successful) or me (to continue using my story and voice to encourage and offer hope). I still have his card and plan on contacting him this weekend.

    *****************************************************************

    KMR? I hope it’s okay I posted this story! Let me know either way. 😀

    1. That’s a lovely story, Kimothy. How wonderful that Vince and you met. So glad you could be of comfort and hope to him and his family. Well done you!

      Also agree with you re. how private matters were mishandled publicly between Diana, Charles and Camilla. No need to inflict them on the world.

  10. I love Camilla for sporting this topic. Domestic violence is a major issue that traumatizes families and rips apart communities. My mother was the director of the domestic violence programs for the county I grew up in, and I went with her to work. I worked in the shelters and I saw the families and batterers. My mom raised me to watch for signs of domestic abuse and controlling natures of people. My college roommate has the same first name as my mom and is now a child therapist working with kids from troubled homes, oddly enough. I have learned so much from both of them. There is no shame in being a victim. The shame is that so many of these crimes go unrecognized, unreported, and untreated.

  11. I like the fact Camilla shows up to these events, mingles with guests and makes speeches well aware these topics are not something you talk about over a dinner table. It really is inspiring that Camilla uses her position for making ordinary people aware of how people can not speak out.

    The archers has been going since 1950. The episode with Helen and the scene that followed was harrowing. To think that happens to women and sometimes even men. I shudder to think that children have to live in a house where there is abuse taking place.

  12. I really want to say something but I can’t quite find the words. My English is so bad that I have difficulties expressing myself about this important matter. It really means a lot to me that Camilla brings light to this issue and tries to breake the silence around it. I have at least five cases of domestic abuse within my near family and friends. And one victim was so brutally abused that she had to defend herself with a kitchen knife and ended up stabbing her abuser.
    I wish Camilla would travel world wide with this cause and I would greet her with open arms to Finland. Finland is a sad place when it comes to domestic abuse.
    But back to Camilla, this is her post. I think she is doing a terrific job and it is brave to choose something like this, because I think most people would just want to hide the problem, no matter who they are, it’s not appropriate to discuss what happens behind the closed doors of a home.

    What comes to her past, we have all been young and most of us have been young and stupid. She grew up, she’s paid a hard price for the mistakes she made but importantly, she has paid for them and continues to do so.
    I hope that in 10 or 20 years people would have forgotten the stupidities I made when I was young and wouldn’t bring them up anymore. Instead I hope they would see a person who has grown up and matured and moved on.

  13. I think as Charles was technically a widower, he didn’t leave Diana for Camilla. The problem in my opinion is that Camilla married Parker Bowles and yet still hung around Charles knowing Charles wanted a relationship with her. Camilla befriended Diana and then Charles married Diana so Camilla become the ‘other woman’. I think the one red flag was that the people were married and Charles and Camilla should have respected that. There was too much at stake and it ended tragically with Diana’s death. I think it must be hard for Kate. Being the mistress first and now the wife must be a very confusing role to play.

  14. You don’t have to like Camilla to see how she has recognized that she has a unique role in public life and the opportunity to make a real, meaningful difference in lives, and that instead of seeing that as a burden like William and Kate, she saw it as a privilege (eventually; she was very lazy for a very long time).

    1. Was she lazy or did she just want to keep a very low profile as she was once the most hated woman in Britain who the mention of caused scorn, derision and vitriol from media and public alike? Remember this lady was pelted with bread rolls in a supermarket car park by other women for her perceived crimes? No wonder she wanted to hide away.

      1. Bolland called her lazy, and she still goes to (nice) places a week early before their overseas trips to “get acclimated.” She also has never worked a single day of her life even at socialite-esque “jobs,” nor previously lent her name, profile, etc. to any cause or effort at any point prior to being outed as the Prince of Wales’ mistress so I am more than comfortable calling her lazy.

        Also the bread rolls thing never happened.

        1. How interesting… I never knew any of these things. Suddenly I realize how little I know about Camilla. I do have a huge level of respect for where she is and what she does in the present time, but I really dont know anything about her prior to the marriage to Charles. Off to do my research! :).

          1. That’s an unsourced aside in a gossipy article. Jilly Cooper denied it on TV and multiple sources for Camilla biographies, Charles biographies, etc. (on THEIR side) have said it was rubbish. Have you ever seen a police report? That’s assault. Footage of it, etc.? No, and it would have spread like WILDfire.

          2. But the BBC and many, many books say the bread roll incident happened and Camilla is unofficially quoted as saying it was her ‘lowest point’. I have never ever heard that it did not happen. Police report re. assault? …..not really surprising that it was never reported, I would be more surprised if it had been given the lengths Canilla was going to to keep a low profile and out of the headlines…..check out ‘Camiila in car crash and fleeing the scene’. That is also an a criminal offence that was never escalated either and far more serious than breadrollgate.

            As for the Jilly Cooper story…..I did say it was a rumour.

      2. Considering she was the most hated woman in Britain for awhile and is still hated, I really have a lot of sympathy for her. Then she does things like this and I just nod along and think she’s fantastic.

        I don’t expect her to work a lot. I don’t expect her to have Charles’s work ethic and tireless devotion to causes. She’s got her own health problems and things. But when she does things she is passionate and she is there to change things, whether it’s talking about domestic abuse and how we often just turn a blind eye, or the joys of reading and pushing literacy, or the rape kits she promoted, her warmth and kindness and involvement with children’s hospices… I think she does pretty well for someone who never wanted the job.

    2. I have to admit I didn’t know she was called lazy, or what kind of work she did or didn’t do before she became the Duchess of Cornwall but I do think it can be difficult for all marrying into Royal Family to find their place if it’s Camilla, Kate or anyone else.

      But one can’t forget that she is 69 years old and has also health problems which cannot make it easy for her to have a bif work schedule… still whever she is out and about she is prepared, interested and caring. One knows what she stands for (literature+ reading, domestic abuse, and so on) and it really seems that she has found her place and tries to use her position the best she can.

      1. Yeah, this is how I feel. She has a myriad of health problems. She does what she can. I wish she would do more, but what she does says quite a lot tackling issues like domestic violence, rape, etc and being sensitive, compassionate, and empathetic as well as wanting to have a dialogue about things. Nothing can change if we keep the silence, as she has said.

        I expect the younger generations to step up.

        God knows HM, Philip, Charles, and Anne could use it and none of those four will retire until they’re in their graves.

  15. If you can find it, I recommend watching Patrick Stewart’s episode of Who Do You Think You Are?

    In it he traces what happened to his father before, during, and after the war. It helps him understand the events that shaped his father’s psychology and behavior.

  16. Camilla is doing a great job highlighting the charity, the people, and the issues with thoughtful speeches and personal effort. I’m glad that here in this moment, Camilla has grown to be a real force for good and positive effort within the BRF.

    One ugly point that she and Kate have in common is using sex to get their men. Kate used the wholesome schoolgirl (pictures in soft dresses with pretty palates) & sexy wildchild booty shorts and tiny tees (picture taken with her dad Michael) carrot-and-stick like, and Cam famously told Charles paraphrase his great-grandfather and her great-grandmother were lovers so how about it? I think Cam has challenged herself to be more than a bedmate which I’m glad to see. Kate still has a long way to go. It took Cam a lot of years to develop this relationship with the BPublic, so maybe Kate will blossom too. I only bring it up because Kate gets flack here for actively pursuing Will while Cam gets praised, when she actively pursued Charles and continued to be intimate with him even when they had marital partners. While I’m glad Cam spoke out about domestic abuse, does she ever think about how Charles put down Diana constantly for her weight? Verbal abuse is ugly too, just as cruel and definitely about control. Shade is thrown at Will for talking about bullying, so Cam’s part in staying silent while Diana was treated viciously by Charles and team bothers me. Overall though it’s a good effort.

    1. Charles was a cad and Camilla enabled him. He married Diana because his options were limited – anyone age appropriate had either run a mile or did not tick the boxes. He should have negotiated an arrangement as the gentry did back then – and kept the “bit on the side” well out of view. A 19 year old girl was hardly in a position to be faced with that

      1. It’s hard because it’s not healthy to live in the past, but it’s important to acknowledge responsibility, which I don’t think Cam or Charles ever did. She’s dead, they’re alive, c’est la vie, and people who bring it up get canned. I’m honestly glad for Cam that she’s really getting involved and I like knowing what she’s doing. This charity bugged me because Charles is/was a bully (which is probably part of why Will is) and we rightly IMO dislike Will’s petulant behavior. Cam’s silence of Charles’ behavior during the married years bothers me but what can they say that the media won’t use to tear them down. Maybe this is a little way Cam is trying to make up for her part of enabling him. If so, good.

    2. “One ugly point that she and Kate have in common is using sex to get their men.”

      It sends such a poor message to young women, doesn’t it? I would hate to think that any woman sees whoring as a preferred way to make their way in the world, let alone want it for her daughter. I wish the ‘royals’ would not expect us to swallow a line that rutting around their insular set is ever-so-upper-class as opposed to being a bunch of horny, opportunistic tossers with no moral compass.

      Unlike others here, I do have expectations that Camilla works, and works bloody hard. I am glad that she is lending support that her high profile gives her. She should! She – and everyone in the BRF taking public money – has entered into a contract with the British public to provide money for services. That ‘services’ is so ill-determined and the full extent of ‘money’ is sheathed in secrecy should raise immense concern to the British taxpayer who has more than enough to contend with: cuts in public services such as health, rising costs for higher education etc.

      I genuinely do not understand why the ‘royals’ are held to a lower standard of ‘work’, as if they are some precious species too fragile to do anything much. It’s utterly ridiculous. If they are superior beings, then logically, they should be able and willing to do more than the rest of us? But these people are not special, not chosen by God (unless God has a twisted sense of humour) or flown to earth on the wings of angels; historically they held the cards and by a quirk of fate, still do. Take away the rhetoric and the trappings and they are bog standard people, with next to no drive. Today, they are ‘celebrities’ but since celebrities are ten-a-penny these days, why bother paying 300+ million pounds a year for this lot? I’d say that there are three difficult aspects of being a member of the BRF: (1) not drowning in a sea of profligacy (2) constant public scrutiny (3) having enough humility and honesty to give back huge amounts in spades since the public has provided for you. The first can be addressed easily by removing the excessive largesse this family consumes; the second requires the public to have more self-respect; the third requires a well-developed work ethic.

      Mark Bolland’s name was brought up earlier in this post, by bluejay, I believe. Bolland also said that the royals were very good at making several hours a week for a few months of the year look like full-time work.

      1. Bolland is very bitter at how he was dropped by the Royals and without receiving his RVO……the first person of his position never to do so. He is credited with the civil war between BP & SJP and whilst he is also credited with bringing Camilla to public respectability his subsequent news column was very, very rancorous and very litigious.

        Undoubtedly a very clever man but also a very very devious, cunning character who Princes William & Harry called Lord Blackadder for his skill at manipulation, especially of the press.

      2. Agreed. I would hate for my 12 year old to ever act like either. I want her to feel confident in herself and not for sale for power or privilege. Unfortunately, it’s still decently common for people to marry for ambition rather than true affection. That’s probably why Harry is still single. I think he’s romantic and he’d like to find a girl that would love him for himself but seeing Kate’s tactics probably left him jaded. I can’t understand why he’s not dating. There are great women out there Harry. Get a move on!

  17. Thank you to Camilla for providing a voice to domestic violence. I’m so glad that she continues to lend her support. She has proven her weight in salt as the Duchess of Cornwall.

    Thank you for this post, KMR. I agree that 2016 has been the worst. Thank you for providing us a place to forget about problems for a few minutes.

  18. Kudos to Camilla for speaking out about a “behind closed doors and it’s none of your damned business” issue.

    And Happy Birthday, Camilla!

    Sigh…I’m just a few years older than Diana would have been, so I lived through the fairy tale wedding, War of the Waleses, and her death etc. I give Camilla a lot of credit for maintaining her dignity and strength while being extremely sensitive to the public’s perception of her taking Diana’s place. As if anybody could – Diana was truly one of a kind.

    I’ve decided comparing Diana and Camilla is ridiculous. It’s obvious (to me anyway) that they are both happy and in love with each other. Now that I’m getting older, I realize that’s one of the best things that can ever happen to two people.

    If anyone is interested in the whole Mark Bolland/PR saga, there is a rather good 2 hr. documentary on YouTube called Reinventing the Royals.

    It was reported that the RF put pressure on the BBC to pull the documentary
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3igcPUmsE8

    Part One of the documentary is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ER-wEpFitvo

    I do like to watch documentaries (as always, knowing that they could be slanted or spun numerous different ways) but I especially like those with people speaking first-hand about their experiences (not “palace sources” etc.) I found it intriguing.

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