Kate on motherhood: ‘at times it’s a huge challenge’

Kate on motherhood: ‘at times it’s a huge challenge’

Kate Middleton gave a speech yesterday, March 23, when she visited the launch of the ‘Out of the Blue’ film series with Best Beginnings and Heads Together at the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists.

Kate started her visit by giving a speech ahead of the presentation of some of the films.

    “Before I begin, I know you would all want to join me in sending our thoughts and prayers to all those sadly affected by yesterday’s terrible attack in Westminster. We will be thinking of all the families, as we discuss the important issues we’re here to talk about.
    “I would like to thank Best Beginnings for inviting me here to introduce the ‘Out of The Blue’ series. This collection of films highlights how vital it is to be open about our mental health especially in the early years of parenthood. Personally, becoming a mother has been such a rewarding and wonderful experience. However, at times it has also been a huge challenge – even for me who has support at home that most mothers do not.
    “Nothing can really prepare you for you the sheer overwhelming experience of what it means to become a mother. It is full of complex emotions of joy, exhaustion, love, and worry, all mixed together. Your fundamental identity changes overnight. You go from thinking of yourself as primarily an individual, to suddenly being a mother, first and foremost. And yet there is no rule book, no right or wrong – you just have to make it up and do the very best you can to care for your family. For many mothers, myself included, this can, at times lead to lack of confidence and feelings of ignorance.
    “Sadly, for some mothers, this experience can be made so much harder due to challenges with their own mental health. Two in ten women will suffer mental health issues that can occur during pregnancy and in the year after birth, often clouding their moments of joy with a real sense of darkness and isolation. Many of these women also suffer in silence, overwhelmed by negative feelings, but also afraid to admit to the struggles they are facing due to the fear or shame of what others might think if they ‘aren’t coping’.
    “Some of this fear is about the pressure to be a perfect parent; pretending we’re all coping perfectly and loving every minute of it. It’s right to talk about motherhood as a wonderful thing, but we also need to talk about its stresses and strains. It’s ok not to find it easy. Asking for help should not be seen as a sign of weakness. If any of us caught a fever during pregnancy, we would seek advice and support from a doctor. Getting help with our mental health is no different – our children need us to look after ourselves and get the support we need. Conversations are crucial for mental wellbeing and they should be part of everyday family life. Talking about a problem with a friend or another trusted person can be the beginning of getting better.
    “This week, as we look forward to Mother’s Day, I would love to see everyone celebrate and value the fundamental importance that mothers play in family life. Mothers take on an overwhelming responsibility of caring for their families. Their role is vital in providing unconditional love, care, and support at home, particularly in the early years of a child’s development. We therefore should do everything we can to support and value their hard work.
    “The work of Best Beginnings is vital. By providing tools and resources to help parents establish their own confidence and their own self-awareness, Best Beginnings enables mothers and fathers to do the best they can for their families. The Out of the Blue films you are about to see are also an amazing example to all parents, that starting conversations and asking for support is a real source of strength. They have been created with real parents, talking honestly and openly about their own experiences of parenthood.”


This is potentially the best written speech Kate has ever given, right? Did she finally get William and Harry’s speech writer? I like that Kate mentioned herself, and acknowledged the fact that she has help in the home that most women do not (since that has been a big sticking point around here, that William and Kate discuss parenthood and never acknowledge that they have help). I don’t have children, so I cannot comment on the experience of being a mother, but I like that Kate acknowledges that some women do have a hard time dealing with motherhood, and that not everything is wonderful and roses and sunshine that celeb mothers usually spout. People take to things differently, and that’s fine. People need to allow women to process pregnancy and motherhood individually without judgement. The “Your fundamental identity changes overnight” line kind of bothered me, but, as I said, I’m not a mother so I cannot comment on that.

Kate’s delivery is still pretty bad, but it’s not as bad as it was in the past and at least she didn’t touch her hair. But her voice is still so weak and unconfident and monotone that I zone out and can’t focus on what she’s saying – I’d rather read the speech than listen to her talk.

After giving her speech, Kate met with mothers during a parent support group. Kate spoke to several women about their experiences dealing with mental health issues after giving birth. Kate said to the women:

    “I feel very passionately about women – and fathers, getting the help they need at the right time and being able to talk about these issues. I know if William was here then he would say the same. Well done to you all in taking the step to come here and talk about your experiences. Having that conversation is so important.”

[Daily Mail]

Kate meets mothers at Best Beginnings s
[Kensington Palace @KensingtonRoyal]

Best Beginnings, a Heads Together partner, supports parents to give children up to age 3 the best start in life by developing practical, simple, educational and interactive tools to support parents-to-be and new parents. The Out of the Blue series is a series of films created by Best Beginnings to help people unerstand that parental mental health is important.

Kate at Best Beginnings s
[Best Beginnings‏ @bestbeginnings]

Kate then joined in a photocall before leaving.

The red and white Eponine London two piece from the SS16 collection that Kate wore to XLP in March 2016 made a reappearance, this time teamed with nude accessories: LK Bennett Nina clutch and Gianvito Rossi nude suede pumps. She also wore her Kiki McDonough morganite drops.

Kate in March 2016, and in March 2017. I wasn’t a fan of this before, and I am not a fan of this now.

Kate’s engagement came one day after a terror attack at Westminster which caused the Queen to cancel an engagement, lest she draw resources. The Queen released a statement following the attack:

    “Following the shocking events in Westminster, Prince Philip and I are sorry that we will not be able to open the New Scotland Yard building as planned today, for very understandable reasons. I look forward to visiting at a later date. My thoughts, prayers, and deepest sympathy are with all those who have been affected by yesterday’s awful violence. I know I speak for everyone in expressing my enduring thanks and admiration for the members of the Metropolitan Police Service and all who work so selflessly to help and protect others.”

My thoughts are with those affected by Wednesday’s attack, and I hope everyone stays safe and strong.

PS. Cepe Smith on Twitter tweeted last night that The Queen has approved the nomination for Kate to have a membership to the Tuvalu Order of Merit. I checked the Charities and Patronages list of the British royal website and it’s there for Kate, but I checked Wikipedia and I haven’t found anyone else with this. I Googled and could only find this blue and yellow ribbon from the Worcestershire Medal Service. There is no Wikipedia entry for the Tuvalu Order of Merit. I don’t know if this is an Order like the Order of the Garter or if it is something else. I know literally nothing about this.

Kate visited Tuvalu in 2012 (from September 18-20) with William. I wonder why only Kate would get this and not William, if they visited together. Odd.

Kate Middleton Tuvalu Order of Merit March 2017

254 thoughts on “Kate on motherhood: ‘at times it’s a huge challenge’

    1. Agree, her speech was very good, but as always her unconfident tone of voice and her insecurity were visible. I do not know if one day Kate will have confidence in her acts as a Royal.

    2. I thought the written content of the speech was fantastic. Her accent is distracting, though – I feel like the frequent pauses aren’t so much because she can’t remember what’s written down, but more so she can make sure she’s speaking in the proper accent.

      1. Back in the bad old days (have we ever left those behind) whenever Gerry Adams from the IRA was on TV we’d see the pictures of him speaking and his voice was dubbed over by an actor. It was very strange and to this day I don’t understand why they did it but maybe something like this would work for Kate?

        P.S. As an insight into the London atrocities I live about as far away from London as you can get but my husband (an armed Police Officer) has been asked to go down South as part of the quota of extra officers being drafted in to protect the capital. Whenever these things occur it’s not a local event, the whole country feels it in some form or another. So I’m praying for London and especially for the thousands of non-Londeners keeping it safe tonight.

        1. ABC, I feel for you and your husband. As a law enforcement wife myself, it hurts my heart to hear about the London terror attack victims, both LEO and civilians.

          My husband has worked for 30 years in the greater Birmingham, Alabama, USA metro area. He has seen a lot and buried 8 friends killed in the line of duty. One of his friends was the officer killed by Eric Robert Rudolph in the abortion clinic bombing, which made international news.

          1. ABC, I am sure the people of London will be grateful for the added protection, but I know it must be a strain for you. Hope your husband -and all who work to protect others – willl be safe and I wish everyone else safety, too.

        2. Thank you to all our emergency services and police …they are exceptional as are their families. Well done ABC to you and your husband and thank you.

        3. ABC, I am sure that you are very proud of your husband. He, and everyone in London, is in my thoughts and prayers today. Thank you for your service, Mr. ABC.

  1. I hope everyone in London is safe. I still can’t fathom how people can do things like this. It breaks my heart.

    Onto Kate… I read the speech before I watched the video of Kate delivering it. I agree that it’s her best written speech, but she still needs to work on her delivery. Very monotone. Too many breaks. She needs to memorize it. But still an improvement from before.

    Hate the dress. Hate the shoes. I don’t mind the actual heel. I like them in the other colours. This camel shade needs to go. You can’t even see them. They blend into her legs. I think I hate these more than her Sledges.

    1. I couldn’t hate any shoe more than I hate those Sledges – with the exception of the Wedges of Doom. I agree that this color is the worst color she has in this shoe, but I think it’s a better shoe than the Sledges and don’t make her feet look so big.

      1. I wonder what size feet she has? She does look like she has big feet a lot, this shoe helps her feet blend into her leg better so it looks a. It better.

        1. I remember reading after the wedding one of the assistants setting up the exhibition of Kate’s wedding outfit wouldn’t comment on the sizes of any of her outfit except to say that her shoes were surprisingly tiny … whatever that really means (it came across as an attempted compliment but she doesn’t look to have tiny little feet?).

        2. A few photos show her shoe size. The LK Bennett Agata were 39s. Some others have looked like 38.5. Having said that, I think Kate buys a size too small to make her feet look smaller, like a US 8. The fact that her toes are permanently curled when she is bare foot shows she buys them too small. Her feet always look squished into her shoes. I think she is probably naturally a size 9, but is one of those women obsessed with the number on the shoes and therefore buys an 8.

          1. From her barefoot pictures I recall seeing the hammered toes and was quite surprised. I have only seen one person in my life with toes like that and he commented it was because beeing very poor during childhood his parents couldn’t afford to buy new shoes as he outgrew them. I felt like a complete ass for commenting on the toes in the first place. Anyway, since Kate wasn’t forced into tight shoes due to financial burden, my guess is she felt uncomfortable with her big size. Her mom and sister seem pretty petite and with small feet, so maybe that made her feel more self conscious – all of that speculation is based on my own experience being the tallest girl in the family and the one with the biggest feet ? I also lived in Mexico for a couple of years and had a very hard time finding my size there (9 American)

        3. She has surprisingly small feet. Wide and flat footed, but small. She’s 5.5 in UK sizing (based on her wedding shoes)

          Every time i see her in high heels, i imagine she is standing on her tippy toes because her feet are small compared to her overall size.

          1. 5.5 UK = 7.5 US. If she was the 5’10” the fans insist, that would be surprising. But being 5’6″ tops and a size 7.5/8 US shoe doesn’t surprise me. Depending on the manufacturer, I’m either a 6 or 6.5m but not always one size or the other.

          2. I’m 5’9″ tall and wear a US size 9 or 9.5 in shoes. So do most of my tall friends. So this adds weight to the argument that Kate can’t be 5’10” (along with all photographic evidence). Her feet are way too small. She’d be like Barbie, top heavy, and topple over.

          3. Overit: 39 = 6 uk sizing. 38.5 = 5.5 UK sizing. Her wedding shoes were 5.5 uk sizing. Her wedding shoes were bespoke as opposed to ready to wear shoes from designer brand.

            Her hammer toes indicate that she wears shoes too small for her feet, BUT if you look at her feet, they are wide and flat which could also contribute to the hammer toes if she is wearing narrow shoes in her correct size.



            The solution to small wide feet is to buy a half size bigger than your feet to prevent the hammer toes.

            Not all companies provide wide shoes.

          4. Thank you Nota, LK Bennett site has the same conversions, which is the brand of shoes she is wearing above. I guess it is the same as her height, it will always be a mystery 🙂

          5. I tried to edit my comment and it didn’t do it. But I have those LK Bennett shoes in a smaller size than Kate and yet she supposedly has smaller feet (I’m a US8=UK6). That doesn’t make sense and makes me think since her weddings shoes were bespoke they are vanity sizing. Or else she would have bought the Agata shoes in a smaller size, since like I said I own the 38.5 and I am a true US 8. If she were a US7.5 she would have bout the 38s not 39. Anyway, again, it is like her height, people will disagree :). But its funny debating about a shoe size, lol. I’m off to enjoy the weekend

          6. I know for me, I’m usually a size 8, but in some shoes I’ve bought up to a size 9 and as low as a 7. So it depends on the shoe, even though most of the time I’m an 8. So maybe that is the case with some of Kate’s shoes.

          7. I have long narrow feet. Size 7 UK sizing. If i buy wide shoes, i have to go a half a size down to 6.5 UK sizing otherwise my regular size 7 UK sizing are loose enough to fly off my feet.

            And in open toed shoes, i wear size 6 UK sizing comfortably.

          8. Add in the fact that a lot of women’s feet grow after giving birth so Wedding shoe size could be smaller due to that fact and she could still try to fit into the same size. We see how she is about dress fittings/wrong size so could just buy wrong shoe sizes too
            JET my sister is 5’11 and wears 10-10.5
            I tell her she can just ski herself places =)

      2. I do not get the nude shoe trend. I DO NOT GET IT! Haha. Isn’t it supposed to make one’s legs longer? It just makes you look silly.

        Don’t like the outfit. Too bright after the awfulness of yesterday. Navy would have been better, or gray?

        1. I kind of understand wanting a shoe that isn’t black or a color. Because with some clothes a black shoe would look too harsh, but you don’t want a colored shoe because it’s tacky. But I actually dislike the “blend into the leg” look that some women do with their nude shoes. I want it to look like I’m wearing shoes, I just don’t want it to be too harsh and ugly like black or a color.

        2. I love nude shoes. Except I always think pointed toe heels make one’s feet look larger not smaller. I actually love the color of these nude pumps.

          1. I hate pointed toe shoes and don’t understand why that is a thing. It makes the feet look too not normal to me. I’d rather a rounded toe.

        3. I don’t even know why I love them but I do. I have three different pairs– one of heels, a fancy flat and a basic, squishy ballet flat.

          1. I don’t understand an obsession with small shoe sizes–small dress/pants sizes, Yes!! But shoes? That sounds like a return to the bad old days of girls feeling embarrassment at being tall. Now tall is considered a real fashion attribute–and tall women have long feet as a general rule, I think. Small feet would look disproportional–and Mother Nature loves proportion!

    2. The bar is really low or non existent if such a pitiful delivery of a WRITTEN speech is needed for such terror that has now taken hold in London. For such a human being who is padded with entitlements/ bodyguards, luxury hidden homes for herself and family, funded by the same people who are being attacked – is troubling. One can hardly understand what she read.

      Thank goodness BP CH made HM address overshadow uselss Lambridge. such timing, whiny should have been out, instead of the useless low end chutney, if not at the hospital. Her clothes and grinning, needed to be tone down from party- she was the first royal seen about.

      Without Prince (ess) Henry Wales, the Monarchy is in serious trouble after King Charles.

  2. First, my thoughts are with everyone in London in the wake of the heinous attack.

    I agree that this is definitely her best written speech. I’m really happy that she acknowledged that she has help. It makes her come across as more authentic. As a mother of two her line about the “fundamental identity change” really resonated with me. That is exactly how I would describe it. Your whole being, mind set, etc shifts instantly. It can be hard, even if you are lucky enough to not have post partum mental health issues.

    I think she did a really good job at this event. She’s been given us a lot more substance lately. I for one am glad to have other things to comment on that just what she’s wearing!!

    1. I agree with you; your identity does fundamentally change, and it can be staggering to handle mentally. It’s not something I would have ever thought would happen prior to becoming a mother, but it’s been a fight ever since my child was born to regain my sense of self while co-existing with the identity of being a mother.

    2. Agreed. I’m thrilled to be able to comment on the contents of her speech for once. I’m glad at the end of her speech that she included fathers. Fathers get left out of the discussion so often. I’m not criticizing Kate’s speech here. This is a societal issue. Dads’ feelings count too.

  3. I am sorry, but that outfit looks like it was made from a picnic blanket. It would look so much better if it were a tartan print. This picnic cloth print looks like the inside of a picnic basket and it’s hard to take her speech seriously for me.

    1. I kind of like this outfit, probably because it reminds me of the clothes Jackie Kennedy wore, and she was a very stylish lady.

      Another bonus to this outfit? It fits better as it doesnt seem to have been altered by Kate!

      1. I agree with Cathy – even though I’m not overly fond of this outfit, I think it looks good on her. Maybe because it fits and I think a lot of her clothes don’t fit. Plus I like the length and the amount of fullness in the skirt.

      2. Oh, no, Cathy. Jackie would not have worn a checkered table cloth from an American/Italian bistro!! I hated that dress. Just hated it the first time I saw it and equally dislike it now. Also, the crease in the back. Please, can someone show her how to smooth her skirt before getting into a car, or sitting anywhere. Like Queen Laur, I have my personal pet peeve. Not posture this time, but wrinkled dresses/shirts. It is a sign that you don’t care enough for the people you visit to be neat and tidy and well groomed. A sign of laziness, too.

        Ok, I have been too harsh. I want to say that the speech was a very good one and important! Motherhood is a huge challenge and has been sold to most women as an easy and amazing experience that you will ease into immediately. Some women do. Others have trouble. Even if you adjust very well from the start, with a new baby, well, there are days when you are in tears after quieting the baby’s tears. You just fall apart. I think Kate did a huge service to others by being so open with her speech and covering things in a clear way. I am sure the mother’s she spoke to could related. I’m happy about this speech.

        I wish all the mothers in the UK a Happy Mother’s Day and I wish safe and peaceful days for everyone in this messed up world. The people of London have been the latest to experience such madness and the prayers and best wishes from everyone are with all.

  4. I hope the Cambridges have the person who wrote this speech on speed dial as it was great. On topic, focussed, mentioned what happened in London.

    BTW, am I being mean if i say that it’s nice to she Kate wearing something she already owns and not something new? Could someone have advised Kate and she listened?, especially after the excessive spending last weekend on clothes?

    1. Kate didn’t write that speech and bungled the delivery. I am not giving props until she learns how to give a speech like an actual adult woman of 35 who supposedly gives speeches as part of her job. Kate is not a child and I have no patience for praising baby steps that should have been happening in 2011 and not six years later. She has lowered expectations of what a royal should be doing and we should not be praising her for doing a mere adequate job.

    2. You can tell that not only did she not write the speech, but probavly read it for the first time at the podium because she doesn’t express the nuanced points of the speech in her quoted comments to the group of mothers and kids.

      Instead she uses platitudes that sound both meaningless and filler. Never forgetimg to throw in ‘William agrees with me’ soundbite though no one asked and this is supposed to be about her independent thoughts not those of her husband and goodness forbid a woman has thoughts that don’t include her husband or disagree or left him out entirely.

      If she doesn’t mention William at any of her engagements, is there a punishment? Will the world turn a different way on it’s axis?

      Sometimes, though rarely, i feel bad for William, that he is shackled to someone super obsessed with him. No wonder he needs to get away and often.

      1. Well said!

        I applaud Kate for a better-than-usual visit, but you nailed why today’s women largely don’t relate to her. Her lovey poses in Paris rather than professional support made me think he wants to jump on a table again saying “I’m free!”

        I’m all for putting on the face in public and dealing with problems at home but the head on Will’s shoulder at the game was too much. He’ll never learn with that much fawning.

        Hope you have a good weekend Hera!

      2. I agree with your comment. I wish she could leave William out of it for once and just be herself, by herself. The clothing was fine, IMO, but the skirt was a little wonky at the bottom. Not ironed? From sitting in the car?

  5. Oh God this is gonna be long. Thanks for posting about this KMR.

    The speech is fine. Delivery is awful, as always; I cringed when watching it. But I’m glad it is longer, there is more content, and she acknowledged she does have help. I don’t expect it to be all roses for her–I can imagine it’s hard dealing with William, and she’s admitted he was never around during George’s six months so she was without him which is crappy as hell.

    I said this on RD…but I’m gonna say it here because there is something that really bothers me about this whole thing…

    Someone like Kate standing up there and talking about stuff she has utterly no idea about bugs me, especially as this affects me greatly. I suffered from antenatal and postnatal depression. It was bad, guys. I was suicidal.

    I hoped this would be a big deal for Kate. She’d say something great, other than the same old platitudes. Which really, this is, despite the speech itself being much better. I’m glad she spoke, but– I don’t know. Is the bar so low? Is it because I was affected by this I was hoping for more, because there is so much misunderstanding about this?

    I had no. support. None whatsoever. My parents? They stopped speaking to me. I should be happy. My husband? He had no clue. He called the cops on me because I was suicidal. They bullied me and dragged me to the hospital, where I sat for SIX HOURS before I was seen by a therapist who scoffed and told me to get over it, nothing was wrong with me. A psychiatrist told me I just needed to be medicated, I was over-reacting, and prescribed me medication that was contraindicated in pregnancy. I think if I’d had people support me, I would have done much better. As it is I can say that was the worst time in my life, full. stop. Even typing about it is making me weepy. Ugh.

    I wish she would speak more of her own troubles with parenting. She is so robotic in her delivery, clearly she has no idea what this speech is and has never seen it before; she speaks of the joys of parenting with nary a flicker of a smile or in her eyes.

    So frustrating, again, because this mental health initiative could do some real amazing work in the world but it does not because of the complacency of WK&H. Instead it is just using people like me and all others who have struggled with mental health problems, trivializing it, for use of good PR. If there was a tangible goal and some real results I’d feel much different about it all. If I saw passion there I would feel differently. But I just feel…used by this whole Heads Together crap and it’s tiring.

    I think it is great she gave a speech with some substance to it and put a spotlight onto a very, very important topic that I feel people do not understand; but I wish it was more personal, I wish it had more heart and soul to it, I guess, since it feels basically like she did not even offer any commentary on the speech. Even referring to herself it felt like hollow like she’d read it the first time.

    So, points to Kate, I’m glad she went out and gave this speech, glad it had substance, but yeah, this is my issue I think with this whole HT thing anyways. I didn’t articulate myself well but…this topic hits super close to home and I was hoping for more, I guess, because all I’ve found from people is judgment, shock, horror, that sort of thing regarding being depressed while pregnant and post-partum. It was awful.

    Sorry it’s long. I tried to highlight what I saw were positives but bah, this just brought back bad memories and I wish more people understood what it was like and I wish Kate said more about it in general. Not about talking about it stuff, or how oh, it’s not all fun, it’s challenging, I don’t want judgment because I can’t cope being Perfect Pinterest Supermom, that is not what PPD is like, Kate. 🙁 Having a chat with a friend won’t help! It isn’t just feeling blue that a talk and a cuppa will fix! You are in a fog and you cannot get out and everyone tells you how great being a mother is and how awful you must be because you find no joy in your child or your life when it is supposed to be a happy, wonderful time. I still have moments like this and my kid is school-aged.. Luckily I have a good therapist now. I said way more about my own life than I wished to but… I feel strongly about this stuff. No woman should be made to suffer because people don’t understand what this is like and so we are silent not just because of judgment, of not coping, but because our brain chemistry is not working.

    1. I think an aspect of mental health awareness and “ending the stigma” that none of the royals are discussing with all these Heads Together events is how people who aren’t suffering speak and react to those who are. The focus of the HT campaign has been so much on people starting discussions and getting help, but it hasn’t focused at all on people being accepting and non-judgmental of people who are reaching out for help. In order to actually make change and “end the stigma” around mental health, we must focus on changing the way people think about people with mental health issues, and HT isn’t doing that. Because if one goes to someone for support but they rebuff them, then it will be even worse than not going at all. So HT really needs to comment on that aspect of it.

      Re pregnancy depression in particular: That’s what I hate about the conversations around motherhood (that I’ve read and heard about; as I said, I’ve not had a child so no first hand experience here). Because not everyone is all sunshine and roses about being pregnant and being a mother, and so much of the “Mommy Wars” hates on women who aren’t super duper happy and loving about their kids. So if a woman reaches out because she is suffering depression or not connecting with her child, then she just gets attacked for it rather than helped. I wish Kate had focused a bit more on that, and said that women need to be less judgmental about women who do feel depressed about giving birth. Again, this goes back to the idea that HT doesn’t comment on how people react to those with mental health issues.

      1. KMR, precisely! I know other women feel this way but I also don’t like the whole thing about… you know, we change so much, our identities–I think that trivializes us as women, as human beings, with interests and such beyond our children, and we are in a culture, at least I am around where I live, where one must be obsessively into the minutae of their toddler’s lives, it’s just crazy. I’m not like that! I am a woman, a wife, a mother, all these things, mother didn’t supersede and go to the top and define me wholly. Women, we tend to judge one another, especially on parenting. You do this, you suck, you don’t do that ,you’re damaging your child. It is so dangerous and folly for that sort of attitude. It’s all over the place. I wish she’d talked about it. BTW I’m sorry my post was so long, I have so many feels about this, lol. I am happy the issue is getting more press thanks to Kate but I feel Kate is not the sort of person who should be representing women who are struggling or encourage women who are struggling, you know? I had the worst judgment from OTHER WOMEN who told me I wasn’t praying hard enough; that I must be a terrible mother; what is wrong with you, my life is sunshine and roses; this when I went to mom’s groups to try to socialize and get out of the house and out of my funk. It made it worse. 🙁

        Patricia, xoxoxo I am glad you are doing better. It is rough. 🙁

        1. That’s what I meant when I said The “Your fundamental identity changes overnight” line kind of bothered me, but I didn’t want to elaborate because I’ve never actually had a child. From the outside, to me it seems like a bad thing to wrap one’s whole identity on being a mother, because if motherhood doesn’t turn out exactly like you expected it to then it could cause real damage to yourself and your child. My mother had all sorts of expectations about being a mother, but when I was born and didn’t behave exactly like she thought I would, she had problems with it and suffered from depression because of it. For the mental health of the mother and child, I think it would be best not to rest one’s whole identity on motherhood. But that’s my opinion as a woman who has never had a child. But I think the same thing is true in all people, that when one rests one’s entire self identity on one aspect, then if that aspect is taken away or doesn’t turn out as planned, then one can suffer because of it.

          1. I’m sorry you dealt with that, KMR. It’s hard.

            We all have expectations of what our child will be but…to not accept you as you are, my mom did some of that. It hurts. Hugs to you.

            And thanks for making this a a space where a lot of us can share things, and talk. It’s helpful to get it out.

          2. As far as I experienced, I can tell you that I instantly began putting the baby first. In time, you get your self back, but babies are so dependent and need so much. As do young children Life is never quite the same after you have a child, but that is not to say one is not happy and loving the role as Mom.

            It is not a one size fits all type of thing — motherhood. Every woman will react differently, but when people say that they cannot understand how a woman can lose herself in motherhood, I ask them, well, how many kids do you have? Yes, society expects a lot from moms and thinks all respond in similar ways. Well, they don’t. Witness the comments here. KMR, I appreciate your admitting that not having children yourself, you cannot grasp what others feel totally. Even when/if you do, you won’t grasp what Moms feel. I cannot grasp what others may feel, either, because every Mom is different.
            Still, I think most mothers cannot help but put the baby first. I guess that is human nature and part of nurturing.

            I would have to say that of all the jobs I have held in life, actress, event planner, writer, publicist — so far, my most rewarding has been motherhood. I almost hate to admit that on a site like this because so often, I have felt like others don’t appreciate that and think it’s old fashioned. Still, that is who I am. Others feel differently, I am sure.

            I think Kate did a good deal for women who are suffering from post-partum depression, or those who are feeling overwhelmed by parenthood, but I can see that more is needed. Yes, she could have given a little nugget from her own experience, but perhaps, that is asking too much. I am happy that she gave this speech and I give a huge nod to the writer.

          3. Your comments/perceptions are right on, KMR. When my only child was born 36 years ago, my minister visited at my house and found me bawling in the rocking chair with my bawling baby in my arms. I looked up at him and wailed, “Pastor, somebody has lied to me!” Both he and I still relate that story–usually with humor now!–to emphasize to all mothers that the illusion of instant and perpetual maternal joy is, indeed, a myth! No child has ever been loved more than my little girl for these 36 years, but it’s not all bliss–and some degree of post partum depression seems normal to me. And the challenges of motherhood never end. But moments of pure joy also weave themselves into this very intricate fabric called motherhood.

    2. Thank you for your honesty about post partum depression. I have had it with all three of my children and it was very debilitating. I was very fortunate to have an understanding husband and family, doctor and therapist. I can’t imagine how I would have coped without their support. It was very important for me to be able to speak out and ask help from them as I underwent ppd with my second and third child. I was also able to learn from my experience the first time and know that my personal ppd would have an end. I would feel happy again. But when I was in the middle of it, it felt like an all consuming dread and sadness that would never end.
      I am glad you were able to come out of your ppd and find happiness again. There is so much stigma and misunderstanding around this topic that I know many women feel unable to get the help they deserve.

    3. Ellie sorry for your pain! I wish Kate would talk about her own issues because for awhile I thought she was dealing with post partum after Charlotte, she seemed off
      My oldest friend actually teaches mental health nursing, when she had her baby, I hardly ever talked to her again, I told my sister that I guess I’ll talk to her when her son turns 18. Thinking she became one of these people completely immersed into motherhood. She called and finally told me what was going on and that she was avoiding my calls because I would know what was going on!!! She teaches mental health!!! She finally got the help she needed but that tells you when the professionals don’t want to admit they need some help you’re not alone. She’s a total type A perfectionist who used to like to travel whenever. Both things don’t mix with a baby reality then resentment set in. But she and son are well as I hope you are.
      At least your husband realized what was going on.
      I would think that as part of your post natal care they would’ve asked about your mental well being.

      1. Most doctors do ask about your mental well-being, but in my experience, it’s a brief questionnaire you fill out at the hospital and then the same one is given six weeks after later at your doctor visit. I had such horrific PPA (postpartum anxiety) that I was unable to cope with filling out the form, I circled the answers for everything being great because the thought of having to talk about it crushed my lungs.

        I was very lucky in that my child’s pediatrician, who we were seeing weekly, recognized what was going on and sat with me while I called my doctor to make an appointment to get help.

    4. Ellie, I am so sorry for what you experienced. How awful not to have had support then, but I hope that you have found some since. Thank you for sharing what was a very difficult time for you.

      I had the exact reaction to Kate’s speech as you. From what she said, or what was written for her, I don’t think Kate has a true grasp of what PPD is. I, too, suffered with it after the birth of my first child, though not to the extent that you did. But it was agony. Like a very heavy weight was pressing down and suffocating me. I could function–or at least do the basics–but there is no way that I could articulate what I was feeling or thinking, and whatever it was, it had nothing to do with feeling ignorant or overwhelmed about child care. Telling someone to just talk about it doesn’t make sense, because when you’re in the midst of it you can’t even see that there is a problem–I imagine it is this way for a lot of mental illnesses. It’s not at all like having a fever or a pain in your side, something unusual that you can look at objectively.

      So yes, while I think it’s a great step forward for Kate to make a longer speech, and yes, while I think it’s good she acknowledged she’s not parenting alone, I think the content and substance of her speech about PPD was greatly lacking. Treating PPD is separate from providing support/counseling services for those who are struggling with parenting challenges. I’d like to see the Out of the Blue videos to see how they address the issue.

      I will say that the only time I have ever identified with Kate–as much as anyone can identify with a celebrity from afar–is when she stepped out of the hospital after having George. The look on her face told me that she was feeling the magnitude of bringing a child into the world–something I think most new parents feel. And again, that is not PPD!

      On a completely superficial note, I absolutely hate everything about her outfit. Not so much in these photos, but in those in the DM, it looks as though the top shrank a couple of sizes–her torso is just too long to wear that cut. She really needs to move past the flouncy skirts and tiny tops and build a professional working wardrobe.

    5. This may totally come out in a word salad and wrong, so please forgive me. Brain is a little tired right now.

      I don’t have kids so I couldn’t begin to imagine what it’s like to have PPD. I’ve read about it in school, but I know it’s not the same as experiencing it. If Kate did have it, I don’t know if I would necessarily want her to talk about it. She had hyperemesis gravidarium with both children. From what I’ve read on the comments on this blog, it sounded more like an excuse the palace gave to cover for her laziness than her actually having it. But if Kate DID have HG, what did she do about it? Nothing! She could’ve highlighted it and been a champion for it. Say Kate did have PPD and understood what it really meant, I don’t know if I would want her championing it. She can barely string together a coherent sentence on a good day about the most banal things. It’s almost dangerous putting her out there to highlight an issue that is so broad and so important.

    6. Ellie / everyone : Genuine question. No snark, and i want to know from someone who has gone through this. Is there a scientific reason for PPD?

      The way my grandmother explains it in her colloquial old wives tale explanation makes it seem like a hormonal imbalance that is caused by the sudden stop of pregnancy hormones after child birth.

      Ie she says that for duration of pregnancy, your body is swimming in extra hormones to facilitate the pregnancy which stops when you give birth.

      The sudden stop prompts withdrawal that manifests in PPD and that’s possibly why it’s a universal affliction.

      If the answer is that it is hormonal, is it possible to be treated with temporary course of hormones with dosage reduced over time until one is back to normal instead of white knuckle riding it as women do? I understand the need to take care of food intake as the baby imbibes it via breat milk for those mothers who breastfeed, but apart from talk therapy and extra support network new mothers need, could a hormonal treatment work?

      Is my grannie wrong?

      From your experience, what do you think causes it?

      Btw, congratulations on beating it. Hugs from this side of the pond.

      1. My family genetics and hormones. My mother and father both have clinical depression, and my fathers mother who I never met was bipolar and killed herself when my dad was young… I think I am predisposed towards it, but for others it may just be the hormonal change as it wreaks havoc with your brain chemistry.

        My OB told me of a study that’s women carrying boys tend to get it worse due to the testosterone in our system. Was true for me at any rate.

        Most women I’ve known have been on medication but it did nothing for me and actually made it worse. As did medication when I was a child, and teenager. Probably not the right meds. For me it was better to see a therapist weekly but I think the best thing for me would have been compassion and understanding, not blame and shutting me out so I had nowhere to go and felt I was drowning in it. Often thought I’d be better off dead as nobody would have to deal with me anymore.

        1. Oh Ellie. I hadn’t thought about pre-existing conditions. It amazing that you got through it with that double whammy.

          Thank you for sharing your story and for educating me.

          Lizzie: thanks for confirming that my grannie isn’t a kook!!!?

    7. Ellie, I feel you! I wasn’t suicidal, but I did get the “baby blues” with my first child. She had awful colic and basically spent the first 3 months of her life crying and screaming. I KNEW I had screwed up my life by having that baby, and if I could have given her away I would have. People give me the stink eye when I say I didn’t love my baby at all until she was about 4 months old, calmed down, and slept through the night. And all worth it now. I have the awesomest 5 year old. But I look back at that time as one of the worst in my life, a time when everyone says you are supposed to be blissfully happy. Ugh. Anyway, you are not alone. Pregnancy and new parenthood is hard for lots of people. The doctors and medical staff should have helped you more. My OBGYN gave me a long list of phone numbers and support groups to call/join if I was struggling. I didn’t call any, but I had it. I hope you are doing better now. Cyber hugs to you and all new parents out there struggling.

    8. I’m so sorry that you had such a heinous response. I was suicidal too, and there were so many times that I felt like I literally could not function. I was lucky because both my husband and my doctor had both had extensive histories with PPD– my husband’s mom had two children with her second husband and so he had seen it firsthand. Even with that it was brutal and lengthy. I shudder to imagine what you went through.

      I think the thing that I see as helpful that they’re doing is to try to pull the veil back and bring parity to how we see mental illness and whether we can talk about it. Being able to say that that was what was happening to others, and have them understand that I wasn’t just a flake or suddenly not their friend, was so helpful. And so many women feel so, so alone, and may not even realize that they have PPD. I guess I should say what they’re theoretically doing. They could be so much more effective and comprehensive and that’s where my frustration comes in. So many people need real help in combating the idea, especially as women are viewed, in that if it can’t be seen externally there must not be a problem. I’ve read several studies recently about society in general, and in particular the medical profession, essentially needing to have a woman’s pain splayed in front of them before it is taken seriously. Compound that with the misunderstanding of emotional dysfunction and it’s a scenario rife with excessive complication.

    9. Thanks everyone. xoxoxo I love this place.

      I just felt the need to share because this HT thing, and what Kate said today, could be SO GOOD but it just is a mess of word salad, a bit of judgment, and acting as if things like PPD are so easy to get over–just a chat and a cup of tea, thanks! No no no.

  6. If she could have let her look stay on the audience for more than 1-2 seconds each time, it could be much better. I hope she will review her own speech, see the shortcomings, and improve!

    1. Seriously so true! The constantly looking up is distracting. I feel like her neck should hurt after a speech. And she always looks to her left and hardly ever to her right during a speech. It drives me nuts and shows how poorly rehearsed it is (such as look left, down, look left, down, look left, down, look right, etc )

      1. For this speech in particular, the majority of her audience was on her left side, since the podium was not centered, so it makes sense she would look almost exclusively to her left. But I’ve noticed in other speeches she will almost completely ignore one side of the room when she does bother to look up.

  7. This speech transcript is so much better than we normally get from Kate – well done to whoever wrote it for her!

    Something I always wonder about when looking at photos of Kate is, for lack of a nicer way of describing it, her eye bags. They often make her look like she has either not slept in two nights, or has been crying for hours. Has anyone else noticed this about her? They’re not always bad, which is why I wonder what causes them. Part of it is probably genetic, as her mum and sister have similar under-eyes, but given how crappy William often comes across I wouldn’t be surprised if it is made worse by other things going on in her life.

    Edited to add – how large must the text be on those pages for her to turn (irritatingly loudly) after every short paragraph? When delivering her early speeches she used to have a classy leather folder in which her speech was kept, unstapled. I’m a university lecturer / professor and it’s the way experienced lecturers and public speakers organise their notes – it looks more polished and is less distracting to merely turn pages face down to one side while reading, compared with lifting the whole stapled pile of pages, lifting up and over the top sheet, pressing down the top corner and replacing the pages on the podium.

      1. Yes, I have worked with politicians and indeed they print speeches in a rather large font. It is easier to follow through the speech when you are constantly shifting between the pages and the public.

        PD: Sorry if my english is not good enough, it is not my first language 🙂

    1. Lauren in regards to the eye bags, I think they are always pronounced. It just depends on how photoshopped she is. Her photos today were highly edited except for the speech ones and that is where I think we see what she really looks like. The eye bags run in the family, which is not a knock against them-just genetics. But the media photoshop her photos so much that when you see her with the eye bags it is shocking, but I believe they are always there. We just rarely see Kate not photoshopped, so when the media slip some in it is a bit jarring.

        1. I don’t think William is to blame. Kate has looked like this for awhile-we just rarely get authentic photos. She is just not aging well which is probably due to genes, smoking, excessive dieting and a ton of sunbathing. Women in their 20’s feel invincible and don’t think about the aging affects of their actions until it is too late. How we all take care of ourselves at a younger age changes how we age sadly.

          1. This is true. Isn’t she also a drinker? The talk of her downing a bottle of wine to herself before they announced the pregnancy with Charlotte comes to mind. Smoking will do it, she has smoker’s mouth for sure; looks just like my mom, stepmom, dad, aunts… all heavy smokers…

            It’s why in my mid 20s I started using anti-aging products on my skin. Haha. I figure I have some crap genetics here, maybe I can make it work for me!

          2. Is there a “bounce back” effect with botox? I mean as it wears off do you sag more because muscles haven’t been used and lose their elasticity? Of course we don’t know that she uses botox, but I thought her eyebrows and forehead looked normal here as opposed to some photos in the recent past.

          3. Fifi, yes there is sag. The unused muscles atrophy and don’t work properly.

            It takes some time to correct it, but most people are too horrified by the sag to leave it alone and usually go back for a top up OR have a face lift to get rid of the excess skin.

            Regarding Kate, she has had botox since her engagement.

            The period between the engagement and first pregnancy was especially bad because her face was lacquered into a masque. To extent that her dimples disappeared ie they were barely noticeable.


            After that first pregnancy, she had a little break, but then the DM published an unphotoshopped pic of her showing her in her full, unbotoxed, grey roots, no extensions glory which was extremely rude especially as they wrote a concern trolling article around the picture.


            She wasn’t seen again in public for a few weeks and came back coloured, extensions, botoxed to look like this:


            The difference is that her application is much lighter since then and not the masque that she was pre-first pregnancy. She looks more natural, but she definitely still botoxes.

            Tell tale signs = her face looks ‘awake’. Her natural face is tired and haggard and jowly, just like her father. Her eyebrows droop. She also has 2 very deep furrows across her forehead.




            When she has botox it lifts her face such that her eyebrows migrate upwards, her jowls are reduced and overall she doesn’t look haggard or tired. The two furrows across her forehead are less obvious unless she scrunches her forehead.

            The other tell tale sign is the bunny lines she has.

            Bunny lines are a hazzard of botox users on the forehead and between your eyebrows. Since you can’t frown in the natural place on your face, bunny lines form….like a fault line that is forced elsewhere on the face because it’s natural route has been concreted over. Best seen on Nicole Kidman or Kylie or Madonna



          1. If she doesn’t smoke now, she certainly used to–she was photographed with cigarettes in her purse during the falling-out-of-cabs-drunk years, and supposedly Closer or some other mag published a photo of her smoking at a French airport. Her skin definitely has that smoker’s appearance, and I doubt that botox, fillers, etc. will be able to mask that as she gets older.

      1. I’m a little sensitive on the eye bags b/c I have them and hate them. I’ve never smoked, I don’t tan, I drink enough water, I get enough sleep, but it just is what it is and nothing seems to help and I’m not interested in botox or whatever. Just a plea to be gentle on those of us with eye bags. 🙂

        1. Me too, sister. My eyes are more sunken in my head than most people, so I have shadows that give me a permanent raccoon look. I get so many compliments when I wear concealer, it’s irritating.

          1. Me too. Don’t smoke,drink tons of water, sleep enough. It’s totally genetic and all eye creams don’t work. So please b gentle with that on commenting.

        2. I have them too and I have natural bunny lines. I kind of feel like a mess every time I read the critiques. I should drink more water though…

        3. On a good day I look like Ling-Ling the panda. Dudes don’t know whether to date me or feed me bamboo. I say yes to both 😉

          But really, have you tried this thing called ‘my perfect eyes’? Its for eye bags and it is AMAZING. Truly.

          Poor Kate. I wish women who diet themselves down to holograms would think of their bones. Osteoporosis is real and its painful.

        4. Yup, I have eye bags and wrinkles like a 50 year old woman. I’m in my early 30s. Thanks, genetics! I find a good concealer works wonders, as an eye cream with caffeine in it, but the only way to get rid of it for us gals is plastic surgery. I’ve seriously considered it. I have no wrinkles anywhere else. Juuust my stupid eye bags I’ve had all my life. (PS: Elaine, we have the same name! Love it. I’ve never met another one before besides my grandma!)

          I’ve been using skincare from Paula’s Choice with retinols and stuff in it, it’s been great for my skin! Really cleared up my huge pores too.

          1. Wow, thank you for taking the time to type this all up, Herazeus.  This was highly informative.

            The bunny ears are evident in the last photo.

  8. Props first, I think I voted on the poll questions that Kate would do 1-2 speeches for the year and she’s already surpassed that. So yay expectations exceeded.
    Now for the critique, yes this is her best speech so far but that isn’t saying much. Why use 2 in 10 is that a British thing? 1 in 5 Sounds much better. The problem with constantly using the analogy that you go to the dr to treat other ailments so why not mental health is problematic in a sense that sometimes depression can creep up on you and you don’t realize it until your deep into it. Renal failure, broken limb all have clear/recognizable symptoms that will hopefully prompt you to go to dr. Although, after being a nurse for awhile I’m no longer shocked at how long people will go before seeking treatment on things “You’ve had this for how long?”
    And people think it’s just a bad/week day and think they can just shake out of it.
    We’ve said this many times but is she dropped the accent and speak in her natural voice it would allow her to speak more clearly and concisely. The touted her middle class roots so nothing wrong with speaking in the same middle class accent. It’s what you say not how it sounds when you say it.
    I’d like the skirt paired with a cream top but top and bottom gingham is too much.
    I will say she’s making strides in the right direction but the year is still early

    1. Lol. ‘Things you’ve had this long?’ I’m constantly nagging friends to go see a doctor for things they’ve had for too long. One came back from a tropical holiday with a swelling in her arm from an insect bite and waited until something moved under her skin to seek medical attention…….the arm was badly swollen, not so little that you could ignore it. Tsk tsk tsk

    2. Hah, ain’t that the truth. I got pneumonia with my second pregnancy and ended up in the hospital. My doctor asked why I didn’t check in sooner. But how was I to know? I always felt crummy during pregnancy. For the last few weeks I just felt a little crummier.

  9. The speech was good, the delivery on the other hand, sucked as usual. The only improvement IMHO, is the (missing) crotch clutching. I can’t help but ask myself “Is this the Meghan effect”? Ever since MM stepped on the scene something happened. The posture, the hair, the speech,…. everything shifted a tiny bit. Maybe I’m completely wrong, but this engagement was announced only a week or so after Meghan’s piece about menstruation.

    1. I think Kate stepping up has everything to do with her and William promising to work more. They’re moving to London, remember? Meghan markle and her website of personal interests have very little to do with it, I think. Kate needs to do more, Kate knows she needs to do more, Kate tries.
      We need to wait and see if Meghan is ever even going to stay.

      1. I think this event was announced after the William skiing and missing the common wealth activities.
        It could have been on the books and not announced until later but after that came out several events were hastily announced. William all of a sudden joining Charles and Harry at an event, Kate got 2 announced I believe.
        More like damage control

      2. Well, they promised to step up their game quite often but nothing happened. Of course, I have no proof for the Meghan Effect I mentioned. It’s just a gut feeling. Kate is very competitive and Meghan receives a lot of press and – which is even more important – Harry is focused on her. After the Verbier Dad Dancing damage control had to be set in place, that’s why suddenly 2 engagements were announced. But the way she changed (posture, long speech, different hair, subject,…) left me thinking if this might have something to do with MM. The future will tell if Harry and MM stay together, get married and have babies.

        1. If Kate were that competitive she’d have other royal to feel competitive about, not Meghan, who’s no one at this point. Why doesn’t she feel competitive with Sophie? Or royal from other countries?
          You’re right, there is no reason to assume a ‘Meghan effect’ (please let’s not make that term a thing) so there is literally no reason to even discuss it.

          1. Harry is more popular than William so the comparison is a direct one, along with their significant others. Edward and Sophie don’t get ehough press for a comparison to really matter to Kate. While Kate may not care about Meghan now, I can guarantee she will if they get engaged because Meghan is the same age and has done far more with her life…. but more importantly Kate looks way older than her.
            I am not convinced any extra work is done by Kate because of Meghan … at least not yet.

  10. Good lord, did she roll around in the back seat all the way from Norfolk? With all the hot and cold running servants, not a soul grasps the purpose of an iron? She looks like she slept in that outfit.

    As for their mental health hoo ha, as someone whose blood was used to find the autism gene, I gotta cry horseshit on wheels. If you don’t have any money or any prospects or any opportunity or any connections, you know, like at least half the population plus in even the richest countries of the world, to say nothing of seriously hardship elsewhere, then of course your life is going to drive you mad and depressed, and you beat yourself up because you have been taught to believe it’s not the system, it’s you, you pathetic loser, ©Leader of the Free World ©Trump Inter-Galactic Top Big Guys Incorporated Limited, very limited.

    And no kind of damn chatting or sharing is going to make anything substantively better until we get some more economic and social equality going on in this world.

    Among the other pointlessnesses of this ridiculous exercise in we hope it’s non-controversial “concerned face,” noblesse oblige is that the National Health is on the greased skid road to oblivion, why aren’t they supporting that (it’s not political, it’s a human right) or all the libraries and sports fields and public spaces and all the other national heritage that the representatives of the people are commercialising or selling off to the highest bidder?

    1. I’m with you 100 percent, this is all sticking plaster platitudes, if you drill down to what is really going on in the UK. I am currently suffering horrendous depression and anxiety and getting proper help is a real struggle, and that after admitting I felt suicidal. I got put in a weekly one hour boost group!
      I despair at our society and media which now focuses on reality tv stars and appearance instead of real issues. Example how amal clooney’s speech was reported, with focus on her clothes not the content.

      I applaud any attempt to help with mental health issues but unless we acknowledge there is not anything like enough proper, sustained support out there, we are doomed.

      1. I think that’s one of the main reasons people have depressions today, especially in the industrial countries. There seems to be no sense in this life we live.It’s just spending money and going to work. When a woman becomes a mother she is confronted with the true essentials of life and this often leads to a life change which is great and nothing to fear of. We should live our live and not get lived by false promises. Once you know this, there is nothing which can lead you on the wrong way.

      2. I am so sorry you’re feeling that way. <3 It is hard.

        If you want I can give you my email address and you can email me just to have a vent if needed. Finding a good therapy and good doctors is so difficult, and group therapy can be helpful for some people but…

      3. Debra sorry to hear you’re not getting the help you need. We got fabulous help from the NHS for a family member but it took a crisis to access that help.

    1. Maybe if the shoes and bag were the same shade as the lighter check? That’s why the black looked better to me too, because it matched the buttons on the outfit. So pale pink shoes and bag?

  11. I’m probably in the minority, but I actually think this dress looks better with the nude accessories. The black heels/purse don’t compliment the print of this dress. I still don’t like this dress though even with the improvement of the heels. Not her best, but at least she repeated after how much she spent last weekend in just 2 days.

    1. I am with you Overit! I think any other colour would have looked strange. Though I don’t think the suede shoes were the best fabric to go along with the look, the colour was appropriate

  12. Her hair is just dreadful, love the dress/outfit. I think she’s worn it before, its lovely. Good for her to talk about motherhood’s challenges. She’s a terrible speaker but she does appear to be trying. The tone was much better in recognising her privilige. Better than William implying he can’t work and be a father at the same time. I’d like to hear her say that people in the public eye can sometimes feel the need to not ask for help to deal with mental health issues for example. It would make her sound empathetic, something that doesn’t come naturally.

    1. I love it too. But I’m a sucker for pretty much anything tweed, and I love buttons, and I love boat necks and three quarter length sleeves.

  13. Her speeches this year have been nice to read. She never sounds invested in them though – I have trouble watching the whole thing without tuning out. Rebecca was not there, and I’m thinking Kate’s new advisor may be an improvement, as both speeches and fashion have been better as of late – no more wonky alterations, a variety of handbags and shoes, more depth to her quotes…

  14. Context and content of the speech was spot on. Delivery not so much. I’m glad she related, but let’s be honest, she can afford to question her parenting skills when she has Carole and Maria. I’m torn because I’m also glad she opened up.

    I love those KiKi’s so much that I want a pair. Not a fan of the Austin Powers-esque 70s suit. Her makeup was pretty good and the wiglet properly maintained.

    This is the Kate that needs to show up. If she speaks more, she will gain more confidence. I hope she keeps it up.

    Thank you, KMR, for this roundup. You’ve been quite busy this week. Your hard work is appreciated.

    1. I very much agree. I liked the nude accessories with this suit though, I found the black from it’s first wear a bit hard with it.
      I am so glad she addressed this subject. It was a great jumping off point for a mental health sector I think she could be a huge face for. I am ok with her scratching the surface here-first dip in this pool after all-hopefully she’ll bring her water wings next go around?
      I have assumed that she suffered from PPD after George. Not directly, we saw the Ring of Fire and volleyball pics and she looked happy and healthy, but when he was closer to a year things seemed to take a turn. Who really knows? I think it’s so so important to talk about, and though I have never been personally touched by mental health issues, were I her I would be all over this. As a mother, at the very the very least, in support of other young mothers. I’d love to see her sink her teeth into this one, I have a good feeling about it for some reason.

  15. Overall, I think this engagement was very positive for her. She came out the day after the attacks, and acknowledged them right away. She gave her best speech ever, and repeated an outfit. Yes, she needs to work on her public speaking skills, and yes, I can see how the outfit isn’t to everyone’s taste. (At least it was appropriate for the occasion). But overall, I think this was a huge step in the right direction.

  16. Has anyone seen the other video of this speech where you can see her hold the speech? Her hands are trembling and the videos zooms in. I agree that Kate is not good a public speaking but she seems terrified in that clip, I felt sorry for her. She’s not even standing upright.
    I mean, at least she still goes up there and does it, even when she hates it.
    She really needs proper and professional help for this.

    I mean this video (I think it’s really rude that the cameraman zooms in on her hands…):

    1. Oh man. That was sad. I think with practice, she can get better. She took the first step by speaking. She can turn it around quickly.

    2. I thought the speech was the best she has done, and I’m not convinced someone else wrote it for her. She seemed nervous, but sincere, and at one point, her voice sounded like she wanted to cry. This makes me think the content is sincere and she has truly experienced these feelings and situations. The dress was appropriate for the event, accessories were neutral, so it , for me, was one of her best efforts to date.

      1. Maybe she sounded like she wanted to cry because she was nervous. My mom’s voice breaks when public speaking making her sound like she is about to cry, when in reality she isn’t even close to tears, but it is her nerves. I also doubt Kate wrote her speech, she might have given insight since it is more personal. But in her position, it is highly unlikely she wrote it.

        1. Mine does that too. No matter how much I coach myself beforehand, the quavering and shortness of breath always kicks in at some point. It’s embarrassing, but you just have to push through. I’ve never been made fun of or called out for it, people are kind enough to know I absolutely cannot control it. Absolutely wish I could!!

    3. The speech was probably her best, but someone really needs to coach her so she appears more confident. I wish she would practice her speech and not keep looking down at the printed speech so much. Her pauses are way too long and that accent…Oy vey! I did notice in that youtube video, when she turned the page of the speech it was printed in a huge font.
      I still dislike the outfit, but Kate seemed to be more present with the issue and her interactions with the support group seemed more genuine. Maybe a weekend home alone with her children while Prince Twinkle-Toes went out dancing opened her eyes a bit.
      I also noticed that a lot of the pictures of her at this event that were in the British papers did not photoshop her. In particular, the DM had some of the pictures where Kate looked very haggard.

      1. +1

        Boston, I actually don’t mind Kate’s haggard look. It’s the look I see in many other parents who have young children, especially those parents in their 30s. I imagine she also puts a lot of effort into maintaining W’s interest in her and trying to figure out his moods.

        And I don’t doubt that KM’s life is very stressful, especially during the times she is expected to work given that she is still trying to figure out the concept of work. She is probably often at the end of her tether feeling very overwhelmed.

      2. I think the problem is not enough practice. I’m always nervous speaking in public, I hate it, but you practice and work at it so even when you’re terrified you still know what you’re talking about and can deliver.

        I don’t think she even looked at the speech before she read it which is a big part of the problem.

        1. True. Practice and preparation are keys to success. Why won’t W&K do the one thing that will make them look better to the public? Takes too much time? Requires effort?

    4. Yes, she definitely hates giving speeches and bring in the public eye. I really think she has a very bad case of nerves. I see this every time I watch a video of her in a very public setting. I feel bad for her. She could turn that around with enough focus and hard work. If Willy keeps misbehaving then she definitely could show him up by learning to speak in public and improving her image that way. That would be a Diana move.

  17. This is by far the best speech she has given. I will say the best written. The delivery she needs to work on. I always read her speeches. I cringe if I have to listen to them. Very shaky and lack self confidence. By her tone and mannerisms. They really need someone to work with her on her oratory skills.

    Now onto the content of the speech. I like that she acknowledged the attacks at Westminster. It needed to be done. As a senior royal she should acknowledge them. Also I like that she acknowledged that she has help at home. A lot of help. Between her mother, Maria, and who knows how many servants. She has a huge base. She is extremely fortunate in that sense. Not all mothers have the luxury and resources that the Cambridges do. I’m not crazy about the idea of her quote about self identity. I understand what she is trying to say though. In a way you do a sense of who you are. It’s your responsibility though to not lose yourself, your identity. You were a person an individual before you had children. My children are very close in age to George and Charlotte. My son and daughter are a little over twenty months apart. It can be very overwhelming. Mixed feelings and a lot of emotions. After I had my son I did go through a ton of emotions. It can be a tough time. Your body and hormones are so heightened. As for my daughter I had a lot of stress. A lot of emotions. My son was diagnosed with congenital heart defect two months after my daughter was born. Which he needed to have surgery for within weeks. To correct the heart. As well my daughter had to be tested as well. They wanted to make sure it wasn’t genetic. An array of emotions during that time. And I always feel guilt even to this day. I feel like I didn’t bond with my daughter as a newborn like I did with my son. Between the surgery and hospitalization and yet another less than a month after surgery. It was a tough and extremely emotional time for me. I’m sorry for the long and emotional post KMR.

    1. Oh, Eleanor, I so hope your son is doing well. And, I hope you won’t feel guilty about your daughter. You were so torn at that time, I am certain. How can one person do everything? It is surely a painful time in your life and I hope that all is well now and that you will ease up on feeling any guilt.

      To all the brave women who shared their experiences with depression and anxiety after giving birth, I hope things are better now. It is truly sad that the medical community is not doing more . Some of the ways women expressed being treated were horrific. You are all very brave and resilient and I wish you well.

      1. Thank you Jenny. Your word and sincerity are very kind. My son is a thriving three year old. No restrictions as of right now. We go to the cardiologist and have an echo and ekg routinely. To monitor is condition. Eventually he will have to surgery probably on his valve. He leaks from one of them. So we have to keep an eye on that. Yet we as well as his Dr want to exhaust all options before surgery will come into the picture.

        You would never know he has a congenital heart defect. He has a ton of energy. We do not treat him differently. His teachers do not treat him any different. We all just keep an eye out for signs of he is struggling with breath and if he is not keeping up with his friends at school. Actually congenital heart defects are very common. It happens in 1 of 1,000 births.

        1. Hello, Eleanor. What a tough time for your son, you and your family. So glad to know that he is able to run around and shows no signs of the heart issues. Medical science makes strides each and every day and I hope that all the work being done will help your son and you. I cannot imagine having to worry about a child in so serious a way. May all go well for all of you.
          You and your little boy will be in my thoughts and prayers.
          Children are so resilient, aren’t they? Parents have trouble, but you sound like you are holding your own. Good for you. I hope you have plenty of support and help.

  18. A successful day for low expectations Kate. I like the dress very much and glad she repeated it. The shoes and long, overwhelming hair are blah. She looked like she may have enjoyed the visit.

    The speech was well written, but good grief KM’s delivery was an affectation of the way the Queen’s speaking voice. Similar cadence and slightly tinny resonance along with an exaggerated plumminess. I listened to a young Elizabeth giving a speach and KM sounded very similar here. It’s an imitation and doesn’t sound authentic.

    KM showed up, gave a speech, behaved reasonably, spoke to mothers.

  19. I feel we are going down the Charles and Diana path. First William crying out, now Kate saying she is not confident. She only started to talk like this after William did his cry out a few weeks ago. Before everything was so rosy in there life. Somebody needs to step quickly, and try to fix this. I feel a slippy slope.

    1. Fiona, reading all the other posters I was just going to comment that I hope she has a professional she can talk to. She clearly finds her life stressful – even her most ardent fan would agree with that I think – and if after so many years she has still not adapted then she needs to ‘start a conversation’ with someone who can help her.
      We all want her to succeed, and from time to time she does seem to improve, but then in the past things have regressed.
      Maybe a change of PA to someone who will hopefully give her more professional, honest and helpful advice will help her?

      1. I understand what you are saying, but little to late. If she and William were so passionate about this it would have started the day they were married. Not 5 years later.

    2. It is difficult to tell how much is real and how much is “poor me”. Because so often these two idle people play the victim card. Both have spent the majority of their lives with no responsibilities, not supporting themselves, not being required to do anything other than what they wanted. Vacation, party, shop, hunt, be idle, repeat.

      Now the criticism rises, the expectations increase, the demands that they grow up and get to work are being screamed from the rooftops. And these two can’t handle it? They definitely resent it.

      He has spent 35 years ducking out of his role, whining about it, and being excused and protected from criticism. She has never worked. She thought showing up for 100 engagements a year (before kids) was “hectic” and too much to handle. Many of those engagements were merely showing up with the rest of the family and standing around, no prep or talking required. Constant talk of being looked after, being taken care of.

      But the sideways talk coming from staff and those behind the scenes are two lazy, entitled, nasty people who think the world should bow down to them just because. Spoiled prince, prickly princess.

      Extremely low expectations set and these two cry that those expectations are too much? It is difficult to see this as anything more than excuses to be allowed to be idle. As PR moves to get the fans to say “leave them alone, there is plenty of time for them to be responsible, working adults later”.

      1. +1. Despite every advantage under the sun, they cannot or will not work to an acceptable level. It’s a deadly combo of laziness, entitlement, and ineptitude, with a generous sprinkling of narcissism for good measure. What’s worse is the army of people falling over themselves to construct elaborate excuses for them.

      2. That is probably the reason William broke out in Verbier(of course not extremly). He spent time with his friends from his university-years. Years in which he didn’t have the whole responsibility. Now, he has to start prepare for the tougher years to come.And that is the reason these two feel not ready, they both never had real responsibility or had to suffer for sth, had to do sth they don’t like or is not fun enough. It’s a great example what happens to children who got spoiled their whole life.

  20. Duchess Kate may have mentioned the Westminster terrorist attack in her speech, but the royal family were conspicuous by their absence at the vigil in Trafalgar Square last night. Compare and contrast with the actions of the Spanish royals in the aftermath of the Madrid train bombings back in 2004.

  21. Firstly, it is not my intention to be rude about Tavulu, but I can’t stop laughing that Kate is getting an order from an obscure country of the commonwealth rather than any of the major ones or even from Britain.

    Did her visit to Tavulu increase tourism or something to the country? Did it improve their country in any way? Does anyone remember that she visited the cou try?

    My snarky black heart thinks the bare appearance of Kate at State occassions is so glaring that HM decided to throw her a bone and give her an order from a country most people have never heard of.

    And Kate will be called upon to wear it at the next state occasion if it comes with a badge.

    1. I feel for Tuvalu. It is ever so tiny, comprising principally of atolls, and deemed one of several nations most likely to disappear under water this century due to global warning. And a 90 year-old woman 12,000 miles away gives a medal in its name to her spoiled grandson’s vacuous wife for…? What has she done for Tuvalu? What is she, or any in the BRF, going to do for Tuvalu?

      1. Did HM award it, or lean on someone in government in Tuvalu to award it then she approve it?

        Tuvalu and many other nations. Unless the planet decides that “environmental refugee” is a legal designation, who knows what will happen to those entire cultures?

    2. I’ve never even heard of it! I’m pretty well versed in geography, always trying to find my next place to visit. I actually had to google to see where it is!

      1. Sarah, it’s pretty difficult to get to; planes go when they go, not necessarily when scheduled. It’s definitely not a tourist destination like Fiji, just a very simple lifestyle, unlike others where tourism is a mainstay. Many young people are schooled in New Zealand, then stay for uni, mainly in Auckland which is home to the world’s largest Polynesian population (Samoa, Tonga, Fiji, Cook Islands, Niue and Tokelau Islands) as well as indigenous Maori. If you ever get the chance to go round the Pacific Islands, you will find it enchanting. Some were claimed by the British and some by the French, so quite a unique melting pot culturally.

        Here’s a snapshot of where they all sit:

          1. You’ll need to do NZ, arrive Auckland, and go from there and include other islands as you see fit. The distances are vast which people don’t quite get. I hope you can have a long holiday as you need to see some of Australia while you are in the region, if you haven’t been here before.

          2. I haven’t and I plan to do them together. A college roomie married a kiwi and I had to miss her wedding to be in another?She’s on the South Island.
            I just got into grad school woot woot me and was thinking of taking the summer off to travel there but Didn’t know if yalls winter is nice (beach wise). My other choice is Peru and Chile but again same issue. I haven’t explored much of the Southern Hemisphere

          3. First, many congrats on grad school; well done you.

            Our winter is tehnically June-August, inclusive. It can get bitterly cold in NZ, but then you can always go snowboarding or skiing. The South Island is beautiful so lap that up. North Island and up the top (Auckland and beyond) is warmer but humid. The islands are pretty warm in winter (c. 80 degrees) and there are beaches galore. Australian winters are relatively mild (in my opinion, having lived in NZ!) and around the mid-60’s–early 70’s, but it depends where you are. Darwin could be 90 while Hobart could be 50. Bring a coat, scarf, beanie, decent shoes, t-shirts, jeans, jersey and beach gear and you’ll be fine. If you can, fly Air New Zealand – safe and wonderful airline.

          4. Thanks! I was going to research housing and what not today but instead researched Ghan train trips
            Priorities =)

      2. Sarah: that is why i love the Olympic parade of nations. Obscure countries pop up and i feel my geography is enhanced. We watch it with an open atlas followed by research to find out more about the country.

        I remember Tavulu because they popped up at the London Olympics. And WK were carried in throne-like chairs as part of their welcome ceremony. And they both danced badly during a party of celebrations.


  22. I call this a good day for Kate. Her speech was on point, and she highlighted an organization that is helping. I think the criticism that says she doesn’t share personal experiences is unfair. You can be concerned and help even if you haven’t gone through a bad time. And I feel this is personal privacy that everyone is entitled to. If royals are too personal they lose the mystique that allows most people to identify with them and feel that they represent them.

    I just don’t like this suit, and the material wrinkled badly when she sat in it. She sure needs a better team for clothes, and designers need to use better material in their overpriced wares.

    I thought she looked so much happier leaving than arriving, and no clutching. The more she pushes herself to speak publicly, the less fear and anxiety she will have.

  23. Tried and failed to add that there is an interesting piece on CNN about the epidemic of depression and over-medication among women post WW II. You can find it under the title Double Standard that May Save Obamacare. I don’t want to post a link because of obvious political comment, but it well describes what happened to a generation of women when they were told how they should feel about motherhood and their place in society.

    1. It’s no wonder women were depressed in the aftermath of the WW2. If you read the social history of women between the 2 wars, we’ve never had it so good even with the insitutionalised misogyny.

      Firstly, we got the vote and an entire host of rights, AND women were encouraged to pursue activities outside the home.

      The campaign that produced the Rosie the riveter poster

      …was all about encouraging women to work and exploring all kinds of adventures. We were freed from corsets and were more free overall.

      After WW2, there was a govt led ad campaign that drove women back home. It’s no accident that ads from the 1950s and 60s are all about suzie homemaker and all manner of tying the woman to the home.

      What’s really sad is that having experienced freedom in the preceeding 20-30yrs, women were gaslighted into staying home and not exploring their horizons. They were gaslighted into giving up any jobs so that the jobs could be given to men returning from war. Anh work they could find was incredibly low paid and low skilled.

      We went from ‘Rosie the riveter’ girl power to ‘honey welcome home, here is your dinner’ gaslighting.

      It’s no wonder so many women were depressed.

      Yet the gaslighting was so powerful that people discuss the mythical non existant 1950s housewife homemaker as if she was real.

      1. And then that’s why there was also the Swinging 60’s and the invention of the Pill. That restarted the women pushing back na that we are still doing today. I was reading ” The Help” recently- its set in the early 60’s (beginning of the Civil Rights era) where unmarried women were pretty Southern belles and the married women were Suzie Homemakers with their catty women clubs to keep them entertained. And along comes a native Southerner, young woman, who is not only university educated but dares to pushback against the institutionalized racism and segregation of Blacks. And the African American “help” who dare to pushback against the social conventions and legal laws that deny them economic opportunity, that deny them dignity and respect as people. If you haven’t read it, highly recommend it.

      2. I grew up in the 1950s.
        In my country and others, women were not exactly “encouraged to pursue activities outside the home” during WW2, rather they – and men not in the Services – were “man-powered”, directed to work in various places to keep industry and agriculture going while many of the men were overseas.
        My mother told me that (rather than experiencing “freedom” during this era) the War had been a complete disruption of her life for the duration. She and her sister and friends were happy to return to supporting their returning husbands and growing families in whatever way they chose afterwards. They and their husbands took pride in making the best of their circumstances. They created secure and happy memories of childhood for most of us. Those who were single for whatever reason did their share of community welfare and charitable work.
        I believe the poster you link to is not actually “Rosie the Riveter” but a Westinghouse War Production image; I always associate Norman Rockwell’s Saturday Evening Post cover with the real Rosie.

        1. Baffled: i think you’ve missed my point entirely.

          I did not say that ‘Rosie the Riveter’ poster was based on a real person or that she was made by the govt.

          However, that image is one of the most influential pr campaigns from that period. There are others showing women working outside of the home, that encouraged women to get jobs, even if said job was merely in service to the war effort. Not a pervasive ‘keep your home, children and especially husbands happy’ advertising that was the hallmark of the 50s and 60s. Before the war, women were trapped in the home. They kept house, entertained their friends, and were actively discouraged from doing anything remotely interesting outside the home. The ones that did were either servants or dangerous feminists and subversives.

          The prevailing view during between the wars and duri g the wars was that women were capable. In a horrid wsy, the wars were good for women’s liberation.

          Unsealed govt documents and research into marketing for both these periods have shown images like this of strong empowered women were the norm for this period and all had the primary goal of getting women into work and out of the house and exploring more outside the home. Followed by the opposite whose goal was primarily to get women back into the home. Clearly, selflessly getting back to being a housewife wasn’t something many women wanted to do and that’s part of the reason 2nd wave feminism swang into action so fast and so hard in the 60s.

          Further, I didn’t think i had to explicitly explain that part of the reason for this was because men were away at war though i did say later that part of the follow up gaslighting campaign was so that men returning men could have the jobs the women were holding during and between the wars.

          From your perspective, your mother hated working and found it a distraction and was happy to get back home to look after the home, and i don’t negate that experience, but it’s also true that many women were not happy to get back home after that little taste of freedom and found being homebound housewives an unhappy experience. My grandmother was one of those and so were all the women of her generation. They all raised women who wouldn’t be ‘trapped’ at home whilst turning out homes that would make the WI proud.




          These are just afew of academic studies of the period of which there are 00s and 000s and millions that have all come to the same conclusion; Women were encouraged out of the home directly or indirectly by advertisers to solve their problem and then encouraged directly or indirectly to return home to be suzie homemakers.

          Govt documents show that work conditions for women were deliberately cut to achieve the same aim such that in some situations women gad no choice except to give up their jobs and return home.

          Advertising is a very insidious and persuasive tool that can ge turned to propaganda. They don’t have to label a campaign explicitly as something for the message to affect an entire gender.

          And the way it was used before and after the war shows clearly that women were gaslighted to exit and to get back home.

          1. Correction: didn’t edit in time.

            My grandmother and all the women of her generation that she knew.

            …..but i’ll also add that by accident or design, anecdotally, i’ve yet to meet a woman of that generation who was a happy housewife, whose entire life was about home and hearth and not much else.

    2. I just read this article before coming to KMR and had the same thought! I thought it nice that Kate’s speech included the fact that its great to celebrate motherhood but wants to speak of the harder sides as well.

      To me, this was a great effort. She seems happy to be there, and more confident than she has been. She was the face of the BRF while acknowledging the attack the day before – that portion of the speech was clearly added last minute which may have flustered her a bit. Sometimes I wonder if some of her “bad habits” including her speaking voice and clutching of hands ARE coming from an adviser – one who is used to advising HMQ who is many decades older than Kate. I just always get the sense that she is trying to very hard to be “proper” – there is a video clip from when she sits down to speak with the mothers and looks genuinely “at ease” and excited to connect with them, but then quickly “remembers” and goes back to a bit more robotic.

  24. We’ve seen examples of her personal writing in her own hand, and it is not like this. I suspect they’ve found a slightly better speech writer. As Herazeus points out above, she didn’t know the speech. She gave no emotion to any of it, no emphasis, merely flat reading while barely looking at the audience. When she is actually interested in something, it shows (ie. Ben Ainslie and yachting).

    I get that she may be nervous with public speaking, but that can be worked on with effort. It is also clear to me that there is no prep. She does no more than scan them in the helo once or twice on the way to an event.

    I think it is possible these two shallow, immature individuals are overwhelmed at the reality of children. May resent the reality of children. Even with the masses of help they have. Their lives have been changed, and not in ways that either anticipated or necessarily enjoys. Maybe this will ease off as the kids get older, more independent, more “fun” for people who like a 30 minute trip to the museum with their kid but not the other 23.5 hours of parenting a day.

    William gone so often, both of them taking vacations away from the kids (10 days in the Maldives, I suspect another no-kid holiday to the tropics when their daughter was 6-8 weeks old for the scuba certs). Carole around so much. KM being papped shopping away from the kids so often, when we’re fed the story that she cannot be away from them for a second to work.

    They lived without consequences or responsibilities for 10+ years. I’m not sure either of them had a clue what bringing a child into this world meant. It is like time finally ran out on waiting, so they got married, then had kids. Because time ran out, it was expected, it let them dodge working for 5 more years. They are stuck in adolescence, and even with multiple nannies and Carole, they act as if their fancy free lives pre-kids and pre-marriage should have been allowed to continue unabated.

    So many marriages that were already on shaky ground end up in divorce after the kids arrive, perhaps because the couple didn’t really “get” what becoming parents would mean.

    1. I’m thinking Downton Abbey right now. The parts where they only saw the children for an hour or so for some fun and then the nanny took them back to the nursery. The adults then went about their regular business of being idle and doing nothing. I have a feeling that’s what Kate & Will think raising children means. We already know that they love Downton Abbey. (Don’t get me wrong, I like the show too, but I also know that’s not realistic or an accurate view of the current times.) They’re so far removed from what normal means.

      1. My friend was trotted down during the drinks hour. With her father and grandfather it was very much seen and not heard (and rarely seen at that) She’s an only child and had to eat by herself until she was allowed to eat with the adults!
        She now has a Ph.d in child psychology =)

      2. I like the show too but at least Lord Grantham played with his grand – daughter and that is how bonds are made. I get the feeling that William and Kate don’t think they need to put in the effort into parenthood.

      3. I recently started watching Downton Abbey. I binged the first three seasons but then my two favorite characters died so I’m not sure if I want to continue.

        1. I watched most of Downton, but by the end was really tired of the Cora, Mary and Tom characters. My favorite episode remains the season one episode involving the son of a Turkish minister, Kemal Pamuk and his “tryst”(subject to interpretation) with Mary.

          1. Maggie Smith is excellent. Keep going. I need to catch up too and yes Mary is whiny. I think Edith really comes into her own from season three onwards. Edith really gets her own happy ending without giving it away and there is a new love interest for Mary.

    2. You bring up an excellent point. Could William been faced with a marry her or dump her situation similar to his father? Or realizing he needed to solidify the line of succession? Or was Kate the last woman standing? How bad would it look of he dumped her after 10 plus years of dating?

      Imho, I don’t think, given the choice, William would be married. I remember watching the wedding and not feeling an inch of love or affection between the two. I remember saying that they had the look of “dread”.

      1. I thought it was interesting that she asked william if he was happy after the wedding when they came out to get in the carriage. I thought that was odd then. It was like he had nothing to do with it all but just turn up and she wanted to know if he was happy with how it had gone.
        What do others think?

      2. Do you remember as they were riding in the carriage after the ceremony, there was that moment when Kate looked at William and asked, “Are you happy now?” (At least that’s what the lip readers saw.) I thought that was the oddest question to ask, implying that he had been anything but happy during the engagement.

      3. Didn’t Charles advise William to be decisive, one way or the other because otherwise it would be unkind to fuel Kate’s expectations? William was still young at the time of his marriage; where was the hurry? I think William got snookered into marriage by a combination of Middleton’s and circumstances: their soft charm ‘we’re the family you’ve never had’ offensive, which must have been, and maybe still is, what he craved; the comfort and familiarity of Kate’s availability and fawning; and that all other women refused him. More like a bird in the hand mentality.

        1. I’m not sure that William had a lot of options. Even in Charles’ day not many intelligent, ambitious women wanted the public cage of being a part of the royal family. It’s much worse now. Though it’s indicative of women having so many options on their own now that we don’t have to be Cinderellas, so that’s a good thing.

          1. William is not an attractive choice for an intelligent woman; plus he’s just nasty. An intelligent woman would have too many options in life to throw it away for him. She can create her own wealth, status and anything else, and on her terms. Who wants to pander to a spoiled man child? Such a life would only appeal to someone chasing that life.

      4. I thought they looked very happy at parts of the wedding. Specifically, when they were giggling or sharing looks during long readings.

        1. I thought their looks were as they look at each other now. They like to mock and giggle behind their hands and roll their eyes at people. Kate’s triumphant smirking, William rolling his eyes–I don’t think they looked happy at all, well, Kate was happy in that she finally got what she aimed for.

    1. Oh my! All those parents who flocked to enrol their kids at Wetherby left with egg on face.

      I hope Thomas’s School is a good fit for George, which to my mind, should be the only consideration. It sounds like an easy transition from his Montessori nursery.

      1. It sounds likes a really nice place – be kind is the mission statement, humility is a value with much emphasis, and it touts a strong academic curriculum. Students have French classes so hopefully George will outshine his father in that regard! It is co-ed.

        1. I think it’s a great choice. French classes from day one: check; co-ed: check; goes up to 12: check; Strong in art and sport: check. I think K&W are more concerned for G&C’s well-being than just following tradition.

          1. @Kitty

            I think the royal family has to keep up the times in some ways. George is a child first and his development is critical; I think his parents choosing a school for him based on his personality and their personal values is a good choice. Nothing written in stone about Monarchs attending certain schools. I think George and Charlotte attending the same school until 12 in a more ‘suburban’ environment is best. I personally wasn’t crazy about the location of the Wetherby Kensington school; it seemed too much like a fishbowl. Once they get older they can go to more prestigious schools.

            Prince Christian of Denmark and his siblings go to public school and I think it’s great.

            *George’s school looks really nice.


          2. Up until William, Royals didn’t even go to a proper school outside the home, right? So not sure why it’s a big deal if George goes to a different school than William.

          3. @notasugarhere

            Whether or not they display humility or kindness I think it’s good they had the decency to send their son to a school that does. Hopefully the influence from his teachers and peers will be his foundation.


            Yes the Queen’s childhood was very isolated; she had a private tutor and pretty much only played with her sister and a select group of girls. It’s interesting to see how the Monarch’s education background has changed; it’s no longer en vogue to be so ‘out-of-touch’. Most celebrities are constantly trying to reinforce how ‘down-to-earth’ they are.

          4. The guardian did a piece saying the school discourages best friends and the twitter responses are funny! One is “shouldn’t be an issue if the rest of the family is anything to by! “Haha

          5. KMR, the Queen’s children went to schools after the early education was done by nanny, so no, William and Harry weren’t the first.

            I find it interesting that there are some people convinced that those are their personal values. If they saw value in humility and kindness, they’d be living it themselves.

            I doubt the choice was made because their see value in being humble and kind. More likely we’ll find out later that this school was chosen for some reason like it is difficult for photographers to get near the front gates unlike Wetherby, etc.

          6. Sounds a lot like the school we’re sending my son to as he is a year older than George and can start proper school this autumn. Language, art, music from day 1 every day, it’s so important, and a lot of outside play time! It will be good for George I’m sure. 🙂 Good choice.

          7. They choose a school that emphasizes humility and kindness when they have neither of these characteristics themselves. Two people who have shown, for years, that they are intrinsically unkind and no where near humble. Perhaps they are self-aware enough to know their children will never learn those things at home.

          8. KMR: Actually Charles and Anne were the first royals to go to regular school.

            Charles attended Hill House which is based in Knightbridge / Sloane Square in London.

            Here is Charles at Hill House.



            Charles later transferred to Cheam School. Here he is in his Cheam uniform

        2. If the parents don’t model these virtues, if that is not an important value in the family, then it is highly unlikely to happen or stick with G&C. For example, reports suggest K/W are absolute schmucks when it comes to their staff; this is what the kids will emulate.

          You cannot learn in school what your parents don’t espouse and emphasise in their own behaviour.

          1. This is true. Children watch and listen. G+C will no doubt play with William’s friends’ kids (not dissimilar to most people’s experience) so the same values and attitudes will be in place. It’s only when children move outside that bubble will they hear other perspectives, and perhaps question assumptions. I hope the choice of Thomas’s provides fresh insights ie less of the ingrained snobbery of the more established schools/ greater variety of family backgrounds. It might be the best to hope for. Who’d want George to end up with his version of Guy Pelly and the Von Strawberry tosser as friends?

    2. This is paving the way for George not to go to boarding school at 8. I suspected they wouldn’t go the Boarding School route. I think he’ll stay here until he’s 12 and then either board at Eton or go to a day school like St Paul’s. Good for them. I’ve long said that based on my own experiences boarding is not for everyone and certainly not for primary school age. I’m really, really pleased for George. Wetherby is a feeder for Ludgrove and that inevitably means boarding at 8 and then Eton or Harrow. They’ve been really smart to go out of the box with this and I suspect most people will approve.

        1. I believe so but there is no expectation for them to have their children board anyway. As non royals they can do as they please. George will have been expected to follow an educational template that is common to the establishment. That they are not starting George in a Prep school but a Primary school is a good indication that George is going to have the most normal upbringing of an heir yet.

          1. Yes Mike Tindall did say that. Two of my old schools down in Cornwall had boarding options but one closed down and is part of a university now. There are day schools in London or where they live but I suspect Mia Tindall might go to the coast and board. That would be more of a private option and less security needed. I am sorry they discourage best friends. Whatever next I wonder. George’s security costs will be included in the choice of school wouldn’t they?

          2. What’s the difference? Seems like this school is an expensive private school, by US standards, I’d thought Wetherby etc were the same.

          3. It’s a prep not a primary . It goes up til 13 which is the age boys start Public School. ( for non Brits Public School is hugely expensive private school )

            It costs £18,000 a year at 4 years old which is outrageous. Let’s not pretend it’s not just as prestigious a school and full of super rich as Wetherby would be.
            All private schools now heavily invest in extra curricula activities…sport, music, drama etc.
            Why choose a school for a very young child that involves an hour a day of travel when you have something very similar on your doorstep?

          4. Jesus Christ. We pay about $8k/year for my son’s school he will be going to, but the local schools here are abysmal and we’re able to pay. We’re happy to do so, because our tuition covers free scholarships for other kids.

            Seems like the school has a good ethos and curriculum. But why that far away? Yes, a few miles but sounds like a nightmare to get that boy to school on the other side of the Thames!

          5. I think Mia will go to either Westonbirt or Cheltenham Ladies which are both very near Gatcombe Park as either a day girl or a weekly boarder. It depends what the Boarding ratio is like these days at those two as to whether she part time boards or is a day girl but it used to be nearly 100% at both. If she’s an outdoors, sporty girl like her parents both those schools will suit her perfectly and be near enough to home to exeat and weekly board. I suspect their decision will be very much led by Mia and the type of girl she develops into.

          6. Mrs BBV, why would Zara and Mike send Mia to boarding school just down the road? I could understand if the preferred school was far away, or if parents were constantly away, but is it just tradition that children of upper class parents board?

          7. I really can’t speak to the costs of sending a child to a private school. I was that child. I know my parents spent $40k Canadian/year for my brother and me. But the experience was wonderful. I went to a Catholic school from kindergarten to grade 4 and a private school from grade 5 to grade 12. They were 2 completely different experiences. I had so many more opportunities because of my private schoolm I met so many people I wouldn’t have. Daughters of politicians/prime ministers, celebrities, doctors, scientists, etc. I thrived in the small classroom size. It’s not all bad. And we don’t all come out as entitled brats. We still had to work hard and do the work to get passing grades. It didn’t mean a free ticket into a top university. But I do believe that I had a better education because my teachers had better resources. And i believe they had better resources because of our tuition. My parents worked hard to send us to school. Most of the year, my dad was flying around the world on business trips so that he could pay for our education. But my parents have also said on numerous occasions that they see it as money well spent. They saw it as an investment on us and our future. And I’d say their investment paid off. My brother and I both have excellent paying and stable careers. As for which school to pick, there are many to pick from. It all depends on the child, their personality and the school. Different schools offer different things and have different values and that doest take into consideration whether the school has the capacity. Entrance exams are competitive. Mind you, George and Charlotte won’t have thay problem. What school wouldn’t want royalty as their student?

          8. Jen….it’s quite quirky isn’t it? But English Boarding schools are full of weekly boarders. In schools that are heavily Boarding weighted, day girls are the oddities and feel a bit marginalised. They miss all the extra curricular activity that goes on when they’re on the way home in an evening such as Lacrosse, Netball and hockey. Same with drama and school productions……all that happens after 4pm. The beauty of living close enough by is that it becomes Boarding Lite. You can have much closer ties to home than being faraway. Mum & Dad can pop in and out to watch you in matches, you only stay at boarding school Monday to Thursday. It’s the best of both worlds really. On a personal level by 11 I was desperate to go, I badly wanted to be a part of it because it seemed so glamorous and Mallory Towers and meant I could be involved in my Lacrosse, Netball and Tennis to my hearts content. But it is definitely not for everyone….my sister absolutely hated it.

          9. Thanks Mrs BBV. Boarding Lite certainly gives space to the family unit, but yes, it’s success depends on the child’s temperament, interests, and a range of other variables. I went to a state selective (structurally similar to US Boston Latin/ UK academically selective grammar); we had those extra-curricular activities timetabled before and after school, no sport though, so the day could be 7.30am-9.00pm three-four days a week, and one-two days being regular 8.30am-3.30pm days.

            I guess every school has a different beat. Finding the right one for your child is the key. Sad that your sister didn’t have another option.

          10. I dare say my parents thought keeping us together was the right thing to do but I was sports crazy and in all the school first teams and so staff expected another of the same ilk in my sister. Poor darling can’t even hold a golf club the right way round and when she was little couldn’t get her left and right sorted at all. Totally the right environment for me, totally the wrong one for her. But had I been taken away from her or she sent to a different school she would have been heartbroken so what to do? These things we realise in retrospect and we call them character building. Xx

          11. I loved boarding school. It was very Enid Blyton-esque complete with midnight feasts and japes!!

            Day students at boarding schools are shortchanged. Most non academic activities tend to be scheduled in hours they can’t attend unless they live close by.

            That exclusion means they don’t form the strong bonds the boarders form. They never get the in-jokes and secret handshakes thst develop amongst the boarders. They are excluded from conversations about events that developed away from them.

            I think if you are a day student, you should attend a day school. The alternative is too cruel.

            Mrs BBV: i predict Gordonstoun, Bryanston or Milfield for Mia. They are better known for sports programme than Cheltham Ladies College. Cheltham is too academically demanding. Not that Mia is not academically gifted, but i suspect sport will be the dominant aspect of her development and that’s best nurtured at Gordonstoun, Milfield or Bryanston.

            Zara went to Port Regis prep school, so that’s an option for Mia if they decide to send her earlier.

          12. Your takes on day students is very interesting and dovetails with what I have read as Kate’s experiences as a day student.

          13. Ray you do understand that all the claims she made about being bullied were proven false by the school, right? She claimed feces were put in her bed, but as a day student she didn’t have a bed, etc.

            Bullying was probably a good excuse to get her into the second round at Marlborough – the sister school to Eton that had such a huge increase in enrollment after Wm started at Eton.

          14. I understand how uncomfortable Kate might have been as a day student at a boarding school, BUT the examples of bullying she allegedly suffered didn’t ring true because as a day student, she would not be assigned rooms or bed or any accroutrements that would have put her in the specific situations her PR described.

            If she had discussed feeling isolated and or unable to make friends etc stuff like that, i would believe her because that’s the norm for day students. It’s not malicious nor intentional. I’d characterise it as thoughtlessness more than anything else.

            It’s just easier to deal with someone you see 24/7 than someone you see in class for a few hours during the week or even less if you don’t share the same classes.

      1. Mrs BBV: That was my first thought when i saw the age range of the school body.

        G isn’t going to boarding school at 8.

        This school is also not a feeder school for any of the top senior school boarding schools or private schools so it will be interesting where he ends up.

        I realise that as a member of the royal family he never has to worry about a place at any school he chooses or worry about feeding into it.

        I’m going to be charitable and say that WK have shown the first independent thought outside of their bubble.

        There might be hope for G and C yet!!!

        1. I was surprised that none of the media had picked up on it but then I suppose unless you’ve been in the Boarding school system like us Hera they wouldn’t realise the significances of these things would they? It makes the move really quite bold from the Cambridges and I wonder how much discussion there was with HM and PoW before they decided on this school because it is very significant. I imagine PoW was thrilled for George given his own unhappiness at being sent away so young. Xxx

          Millfield for Mia if she goes to would be an excellent choice if she’s showing sports promise.

          We used to call daygirls, daybugs. They were so few and far between. Hera……I was Cheltenham Ladies until my sister was ready for Boarding school but we then moved to another Worcestershire Boarding school as it was academically a stretch too far for her which is rather ironic because she’s now the bilingual one with the London stockbroking job and I’m a housewife. I still think it might be an option because of the proximity to home but Westonbirt would be better as it’s more sports focused than Cheltenham and less academic. If Mike doesn’t want her to board, weekly boarding close to home would be a good compromise.

  25. Kate lacks substance completely.She has no through understanding of anything she does.She only pretends
    She has the best opportunity to work for grave causes but she never cares .
    An secondly why this woman tie her hair .?? What’s the need to let them loose .

  26. Kate’s speech was very well written. Her delivery was painful to watch. I truly feel for her. It’s more than public speaking jitters. I think she is so insecure. It’s tough to watch.

    So many commenters have shared their difficulties with great courage. I think it is something we need to hear and I hope things are better for all. Motherhood is not always easy. Some women adapt quicker than others. But, there is always the idea of others judging one and that is tough.

    I feel very lucky because any insecurities I experienced, especially after my first child was born, were met with compassion and help. I just don’t know how others could have coped without a supportive husband, family and friends.

    That’s why this speech was important and I hope it helped those who heard it. This is the first time I have felt that any of the work the Royal Threesome is doing on mental health really chipped away and so many of the issues that are so tough!

    To all the mothers who are celebrating Mother’s Day this Sunday, all best wishes. You really should be honored for all your loving work!!

  27. Charles visited King’s Hospital today to meet with the doctors and medics who saved lives after the attack on Wednesday, and took pictures with everyone. Lovely of him. Surprise visit for everyone there.

    1. The TV footage of his visit was very moving. The staff looked so thrilled and happy to see him and talk with him about their experience and he was so humble in his praise of their bravery and commitment. You really could see people’s morale being lifted by his interest. Shame DoC wasn’t there with him because she was marvellous during the 7/7 visits.

      1. I know, I was sad Camilla didn’t go. Wonder if it was for security purposes because it would require more RPOs and so on for her as well. She’s so warm and lovely and kind to people. I love seeing her with people.

        Charles seemed very moved, as anyone would be. I’m glad he visited, I bet it was a great surprise for the hospital and raised morale a bit which is important. Being told your work matters and people care about you and what you do is great.

  28. I think Kate’s terrible speech giving does a disservice to the speech writer who took the time and effort to write a thoughtful speech- wonder how the speech writer must feel to see their work butchered so badly and they can’t even complain or be upset at Her Royal Highness Katie The Keen, or else they lose their livelihoods.

    I stopped watching the clip in the middle of Kate giving tribute to the London attack. It was cringe worthy. I couldn’t believe that a 35yr old woman is incapable of providing some perfunctory comments of sympathy without any sincerity or conviction. I and I am sure others were distracted by her hair flopping around everywhere and her constant looking down at her notes.

    All the commentators here have already said in detail the path to Kate’s improvement in speech giving. All I’ll say is if it took Kate 6yrs to give speeches this terribly, with very minimalevidence of improvement and almost no evidence of any practice before the event, then it’ll
    Take another 6yrs for Kate to give a speech with any measure of competence. Kate is giving speeches in front of people who’re falling all over themselves to meet her because she’s HRH, nothing more (notice the woman in green. Her sycophancy is making me shake my head). Any less than perfect speech that Kate makes is going to be wildly applauded by these fawning people, so the least that Kate can do to show her appreciation at this unearned respect, is put in a bit more practice into her speech giving. Don’t make your audience uncomfortable by your terrible speech and by your obvious desire that you don’t even want to do this speech for your audience.

    On the clothing front, I actually like this outfit and I liked it with the black accessories. While I like these particular nude suede heels ?, it didn’t go with this dress. This dress would be tricky to accessorize, for sure. It’s already very twee looking and matching pink shoes would be taking it to the extreme ?

  29. Blah, blah, blah. So yeah, Kate has a new speech writer who puts better words in her indifferent mouth. Same old feckless message though- talk to someone. Imagine someone who actually and passionately cared. Kate is not it, shows her lack of heart every. Single. Time. IMO judging her performance misses the mark.

  30. I think Kate lacks empathy and that’s her personality and she struggles to fake it. Women are usually expected to be empathetic and it is particularly notably following in the footsteps of the very emotionally intelligent Diana. If it doesn’t come naturally she needs to at least treat her job like a job and prepare for it and execute it competently. Otherwise send her to the country and get the princesses to work. She and William would obviously prefer it, perhaps that’s his goal?

    1. It is clear when Kate is interested in something – which is very little – and then there is everything else. Regardless of the lack of effort she puts in, Kate will be gushed over by sycophants and reviewed uncritically by media. I noted one particular media outlet opining that Kate was ‘close to tears’ when reading the prepared text re. London bombings. What a load of toadying crap. So as long as the Brigade of Forelock Tuggers exist, there is absolutely zero chance of Kate lifting her game. Her lack of prep is obvious, her disinterest is obvious, her lack of empathy is obvious. Her one and only job stint saw her wriggle out of regular hours and commitment to be on call for holidays and William’s whims; nothing has changed.

      1. Well said. A better speech writer does not automatically mean there is more effort and empathy from Kate.
        She was definitely not ‘close to tears’ and her hands did not tremble that much.
        Adrenergic situations like giving a speech can make hands trembling a little bit.This is not automatically a sign of anxiety or lack of confidence.

  31. Re: Kate’s eye bags!I bring this up again because I’ve seen photos of her and she looks like she hasn’t slept in days or has been on some kind of a bender. Yes, eye bags are genetic, I have them too but when I look at her in some photos I can’t help but think that there’s something going on behind closed doors with her. She looks exhausted and yet she has far more help than the average person.

  32. Hello. First time poster, here. I had to laugh at the subtitles to the video. She was saying “coping” but the subtitles said, “pooping”! Just shows how bad her fake accent is. ?

  33. Jane i agree %100 with you. W.K. have aged beyond belief in 6 years! It is not a lack of money or overworked! Does anyone have any ideas?

  34. Some lovely photos this weekend of mia tindall and her family. Her dad Mike seems proper hands on. Lovely bloke. I bet princess Anne is a fab granny to her three granddaughters who look lively and feisty!

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