2015 in Review: Duchess Kate’s hits and misses (plus 2015 engagement numbers)

207 thoughts on “2015 in Review: Duchess Kate’s hits and misses (plus 2015 engagement numbers)

  1. First time commenter. First of all, sorry for my English, it is not my first language, so forgive my mistakes. I was a big fan of Kate. I was very happy with the engagement and I watched the entire wedding (I woke up very early only to see it). I’ve read all articles about Kate with huge pleasure. I considered her a breath of fresh air and was happy having her in the Royal Family. Now I realize some things. Kate’s wedding dress was a sign if what was coming. It was completely dull, looked cheap. My mother, who was watching the wedding with me, said “Oh, terrible. There is nothing exciting about this dress”. And she is right. The dress is dull, boring like is Kate’s style, IMO. Then the excuse Kate was “learning” her royal hole. Ok, I thought, but then I realized she dated William for 9 years, how couldn’t she know nothing about royal hole? And now I am completely disappointed. This “learning” never ends. I see how she is fake, more than anything else. Man, watching the Anna Freud Centre video, God, I don’t see sincerity in her. Every move seems calculated. I completely agree with Cathy: “It was like Kate was trying a bit hard and forcing the jolly happy happy look. After watching the video it seems to me that she was more acting for the camera?” Many of you said she seemed engaged but to seem is not to be. Anybody can attend an engagement and smile but this don’t prove the person really cares. If she really cared about causes she would have worked in charities before her wedding. But not, she only attended charities AFTER her marriage. It’s like she does because she must it. I think that empathy is something you have or not. Diana didn’t work in charities before her marriage either but Diana had warmth and really cared, while Kate makes charities with no passion. She only smiles, grin like a crazy and “seems” engaged, forcing a very happy attitude. And that voice, I can’t bear it. Summing up, I don’t believe in her, don’t believe in anything she does. She can cut her hair in the most modern and stylish cut, she can grin like a crazy “to show” she is “happy” and “cares”, she can attend 1000 engagements a year, she may make a 3 hours speech that she won’t convince me. There is no sincerity, warmth, compassion. It seems all insincere, even when she is smiling and seems relaxed and comfortable. And her fake concern expression, Oh my. Her “career” being William’s girlfriend was pathetic. How can a young girl see her as a hole model? How can I say to my nieces to only wait to put a ring on their finger and think this is a career, and worst that this is “love”? No, there’s no love here. I doubt she would wait 9 years inly to get married if William wasn’t a prince. I hate when people say Kate has to give “baby steps”. God, she is an almost 34 year old woman, mother of two, with a husband and houses to manage, she MUST give “grown woman steps”. I say again, she doesn’t convince me. She seems fake, always looks so forced and tries to look interested. I compare her to William, he is the same way and I doubt they change. One person can change attitudes but not personality. They are a perfect math. Dull, arrogant, spoilt and fake. Completely different from Harry. Harry went to Brazil in 2014 and visited Rio. Luckily I was vacationing there and I could see him very close, following him everywhere. People say Harry seems to be genuine. No. HE IS GENUINE. He visited a slum named Complexo do Alemão showing sincere interest, listening everything with attention, talking with residents and asking questions. And his eyes, God, nobody can fake those eyes. They say the eyes are a window to the soul. I almost cried when he gave me a shake hand and smiled. There’s something in him I can’t explain, a light which makes you feel good and happy. Harry speaks through his eyes and smiles with his soul. His shake hand is strong, it’s like he thinks you are really very special. I told him I love his mother, and his smile got bigger. I saw how he is with people. I see those same eyes in Harry through pictures and videos, for this reason I say for sure he is genuine. I think the same about Diana despite not having met her. And Harry was dressed very simple (a navy blue t-shirt and trousers) what I thought wonderful. Diana also dressed simple when she visited the homeless with her charity Centrepoint. So I thought ridiculous Kate overdressed to visit a women’s jail. I Imagine how she would dress to visit a slum. William and Kate don’t show warmth, even when they are smiling and trying to show they care. I don’t know how they are in private, but they seem to show a forced happiness that don’t convince me. And the children, George and Charlotte are cute, but only this. There’s nothing special in them, but William and Kate think they are the most special children in the world and people are desperate to see them. I AM NOT. I don’t get excited when I see pictures of George, and Charlotte, Oh God, people wanting a Diana 2.0 and got a Carole 2.0. , not that it is bad because I think Carole is an attractive woman (I hope Charlotte eyes are really blue, because a magazine photoshopped George’s eyes once to turn them into green and many photos of Kate are photoshopped). I feel nothing for those children, it’s like they are ordinary kids to me and I think the guilty is of W & K. They hide the kids so much that created a feeling of indifference. Summing up, I have no hope for William and Kate for they don’t convince me, even when they “seem” engaged. As I said a person may change attitudes but not personality and I don’t feel like W&K care about anyone or anything except themselves. Sorry for my long post, but how is my first, I had to tell everything. This blog is a relief among others sugar blogs. They make me sick. About Kate wearing Diana’s tiara, terrible. And Kate’s haircut, how is this a new haircut? It’s the same boring style, just a bit shorter.
    P.S. Rhiannon, congratulations, your future husband is an EXTRAORDINARY person. I can’t wait for your wedding. And about his looks, Oh God, Harry is very tall and that red hair is to kill anyone. I almost died because he gave me a warmth smile, I image how is his smile when he is trying to conquer a woman. Greetings from Brazil and Happy New Year. Jamel

    1. Awesome that you got to meet Harry, Jamel! I think you did a wonderful job expressing your thoughts, especially since English isn’t your native language! I agree with a lot of what you said.

    2. Welcome Jamel!

      I feel the same way. She can do more engagements, more speeches, but because she is so fake it will never ring true. Thanks!

    3. Jamel, First of all, Happy New Year. Second of all, welcome to KMR. I hope you join the conversation with us more often. Third of all, your English is very, very good. I’m a native English speaker (though I had a speech delay, so it took a while) but that’s it. I know a few basic words of Spanish and Italian. I can’t write in another language worth a darn. One of my unfulfilled goals thus far in life is to learn other languages.
      I think you might be a little too cynical about Kate and William. They could improve if they want to. I have hope that they might. I doubt they will. But there’s always hope. 🙂 She did more duties last year than the year before, so there’s some small improvement.

    4. Your English is just fine. Thank you for a good response. You truly captured my thoughts.

      As far as meeting Harry. Omg. The is an amazing experience.

    5. Hi Jamel, welcome.

      That’s so cool that you got to meet Prince Harry and that he was so nice and genuine.

      Re W&K thinking G&C are special snowflakes: *Every* parent thinks their child is the most special snowflake ever, that they themselves are the first people to invent childbirth, and that everyone is just dying to see photos of their kids. Or at least all of my Facebook friends do. I cannot tell you how many people post photos of their babies every day on Facebook. And they’re not even interesting photos – they all look the same because they’re of a weeks old baby who doesn’t do anything interesting. So annoying.

      Re personality not changing: I disagree. When I was about 7 and started suffering from depression, my personality did a complete 180. Also, my personality is different now than it was when I graduated high school at 17. I do think people’s personalities change due to education/new experiences, traumatic experiences, desire to change, etc. If we want to change, we can. It is hard and most people don’t want to put in that effort, but it is possible. Personally, I think saying people don’t change is an excuse for people not to change. By saying we can change, we are putting the blame on the individual for not changing (which is where I think it should be).

      1. Oh, my goodness, how beautifully you summed up your meeting with Prince Harry. Lucky you! What you wrote about him seeming to speak through his eyes and smiling with his soul are just extraordinary. You apologized for your English. Please, you write so amazingly well. No apology needed at all! I just smiled and smiled with all the beautiful comments you made about the Prince of so many of our hearts. Happy New Year to you and more posts, please, Jamel How lucky for you to have had the chance to look into his eyes and soul in person and to shake his hand and let him know how much you thought of his Mum. I am sure those kinds of comments forever warm his heart. Happy New Year. May we all have the chance to shake his hand, too. Oh, perhaps at Rhiannon’s Royal Wedding!

    6. Hi Jamel! I am very very new to posting on this blog as well, and I wanted to welcome you! Wow and a huge thumbs up for wxpressing your views so well in English! I understood everything you said and I agree with everything 1,000%. I wish I were eloquent enough to have said it all myself :). You pretty much exactly described my love-to-dislike (I wont say “hate”) relationship with Kate… The excitement and hope the royal wedding brought (gah I did hate her dress! Yuck!) to the slow disillusionment over time as her true personality unfolded and I realized her girlfriend years of doing nothing literally set the precedent for her working (ha) life as a Royal. Like you said, we all wanted a Diana 2.0 and instead got a Scarole 2.0. That made me laugh out loud :). I love this blog because I know the posters and commenters on here are real and sincere and not afraid to express their true feelings (no sugars, and no backlash for giving Kate the constructive criticism she deserves).

  2. Did well: cut her hair. I don’t know her, but it seems that took a lot of guts, considering her hair seems to be her security blanket.

    Improve: wear trousers. Especially when visiting with kids.

    KMR, well done with staying positive! Happy New Year / Bonne année !

    1. I think pants would be a nice addition to her wardrobe, but I don’t necessarily think she should wear pants when meeting kids. When she got married she wore jeans and the kids were disappointed because they wanted her to look like a fairytale princess.

        1. No the PR policy is to display an image of perfect and classic Britishness. In most peoples’ minds here this is the time straight after WWII i.e. late 40s/early 50s – when all women wore skirts (hence also the old-fashioned way they display their kids). Jeans may be okay for casual or low-key engagements (since another PR policy is to present themselves as ‘modern and normal’ lol) but it is extremely unlikely you will ever see Kate on an official engagement in a pair of trousers.

    2. It seems so superficial (and it is), but a lot of women have a hard time cutting their hair. I remember when I was a kid I got a bob and that was so traumatic for me. My hair right now is down to my waist, even if I had to cut it to my shoulders, that would be traumatic and upsetting. If I had to get a pixie cut – I would straight up cry. As I said, it is superficial, but some women get very attached to their hair for a variety of reasons and would have a hard time cutting it off.

      Happy New Year, Liz!

      Re pants: A nice trouser would be great.

  3. p.s. I’m looking at the numbers, and man, are Will, Kate, and Harry in for a rude awakening when the older generation passes!

    1. WK are in for a rude awakening.

      The numbers don’t reflect Harry’s working life at all his charity endevours and private (except we they are tweeted by the public) and voluntary eg summer in Africa, 2 days a week working at the wounded veterans centre etc efforts aren’t included in his numbers. If you follow the royal reporters on twitter, they often confirm all the private work that Harry does that is never recorded in the official tally.

      WK on the other hand only do official work. Any and all private engagements and meetings that aren’t counted for other royals *are* counted for them.

      Eg Charlotte’s birth counted as an engagement for Kate.

      In that sense, Harry won’t have a rude awakening even if he makes it to Henry Rex 9.

      WK on the other hand will definitely not cope very well with additional work, even that handed to them as a result of the older generations getting older.

  4. I count flashing her inner thighs in that houndstooth dress as flashing. If I recall correctly, Kate had it modified so it didn’t button to nearer the hem.

    I will, personally, grade Kate against other Royal women in a similar role as I see no reason to treat her as a special snowflake with softer expectations.

    Pros – removing hair extensions & wiglet. That speech, though barely.

    Enough of the babying – 5 years a Royal. Step the heck up & represent modern women rather than a silent geisha hidden away in luxury.

    1. I understand the desire to compare Kate to other woman, and that’s your choice.

      For me, constantly being told I am terrible at everything and that everyone else is better than me does not help me or make me want to better myself. In fact, it does the opposite. Constant negativity makes me want to curl up into a ball and think of ways to kill myself because I think I suck and that I’ll never amount to anything and that I would be better off dead.

      Yes, I realize that I am depressed and others are not and everyone responds to things differently, but I think having any sort of positivity to grab on to is helpful to think that there is hope for me to succeed and have a life that is worth something.

      There will always be someone who is better than me, but if I constantly compared myself to everyone else then my little accomplishments wouldn’t mean anything and I might as well not do anything because what I do does not matter. It’s like, Hey I made a web application!… oh but then there’s your web application that is way more complicated than my dinky one… and oh Facebook and Google exist… and video games exist… and all of these other way more complicated applications exist… Mine sucks; I might as well not even bother.

      If I compare myself to everyone else, my depressed brain will find me lacking and will make me even more depressed. If I judge myself on myself, then I have some hope that I can be better.

      I think comparing myself to others in terms of setting dreams and goals is good, but in terms of micro accomplishments I need to compare myself to myself in order to find some positivity and not let my depressed brain think I’m worthless and think up ways to kill myself.

      I hope you understand my thought process as to why I asked that we compare Kate to herself.

      1. I understand your logic & its absolutely right that when evaluating oneself that one aims to be equally positive to negative.

        That said, as Kate does not read these articles, I do not feel the need to be overtly positive when evaluating Kate against the role she has planned for for over a decade. She’s not uneducated – quite the opposite, she’s had an education far beyond most of the UKs means. She knows what is expected of her in terms of Royal engagements & decorum. I feel it is only right & proper that when she fails, despite all the chances, she be called on it honestly.

        I will continue to give credit where its due, as I always have, but I see no reason to give Kate a softer review than other Royals.

        1. Of for sure when Kate does something stupid she needs to be called out for it. I think other royals should be called out for their missteps, too. What I tend to see, though (not just here but everywhere that’s not a pro-Kate site), is Kate getting lambasted for every little thing and other royals not getting called out or getting defended for things we call Kate out on. We tend to put Kate down in order to raise up others or raise up others in order to put Kate down. I’m guilty of this myself. When I talked about wanting more of Kate’s photography, I started to comment on getting photocalls and videos of the kids like we do from other royals, and had to stop myself because I wanted to make my article solely about Kate and not bring other royals into it. It’s hard not to bring other royals into the discussion of Kate because we want some sort of model for how she should be so we turn to other royals.

          Also something I see (again, not just here but elsewhere), is that we will comment on wanting Kate to do something, and when she does it we will still complain about it (I’ve done this myself). OR (and this I see all the time on another site) another royal will get praise for doing something that Kate would get lambasted for. That’s the one that bothers me most.

          So while I think it’s fine to compare the royals to each other, I also think they should be taken on their own as well (not just Kate but everyone).

          If you want to compare Kate to other royals, that’s cool. I’m sure I will compare her to others in the future, as I have done in the past. But for this I wanted to compare her to herself in order to point out some positives.

          1. Ah yes, I’m understanding you more now, thank you.

            Kate garners the most attention as young, pretty wife of a future King. Attention often equates to either praise or criticism – when she gave birth it was a national celebration. When she hides away & gets called lazy its a wave of criticism.

            We do demand more of her but she only has to improve a bit to make the majority of us happy. I’ve mooted 2 days of engagements a week, leaving her 5 as a Mum.

            Heavy is the head that wears the (in her case) Cambridge Tiara.

            Take care of yourself, lovely KMR. I do wish you could see yourself through our eyes x

          2. I agree KMR, it is pretty easy to fall into the trap of comparing Kate with other royal women and it never ends well for Kate. However, I would love to see her find and cultivate a royal mentor. Someone like Maxima, who married into a royal family, has young children, is college educated and most importantly using her royal role for the betterment of others. I really think Kate could benefit from having the ability to talk to someone who has gone through some of the same things.

          3. KMR: Despite my admiring the effort you put in this I think you are never satisfied with what Kate does and often put her down to raise other Royals up, who perhaps did mistakes too in their lives (I didn’t understand it in fact when, although she isn’t Royalty at all, Beatrice Borromeo was praised when she really isn’t all that wonderful, I’m Italian, or how much Sofia from Sweden is admired despite her having posed for an equivalent of Playboy magazine, Slitz right?, and referring to it herself as an experience rather than looking back at it like a big mistake that earned her loads of criticism when engaged to the Prince). Do correct if I’m wrong 🙂 (new poster and long time lurker ). Therefore I agree with everything you said. I also think that she shouldn’t try to be a Diana 2.0 (not a Diana fan, probably the only one here) but that she should grow into her own persona. I hope I got my point across without offending anyone. I apologise in advance, not mother tongue.

          4. I commented on the fact that Beatrice Borromeo had lots of pretty wedding dresses (in the wedding article, which is my personal opinion based on photos) and briefly what her education and jobs are/have been (in the Hot Guy article, which I got from Wikipedia). I never said she was anyone to admire. Re Sofia: she was a famewh*re in the 00s, plain and simple. Do I agree with her lifestyle choices? No. But it’s her body and she can do whatever she wants with it. Her comments about that time in her life being an experience rather than a mistake, I’m fine with. If she learned from that experience and grew as a person and wouldn’t even think about doing that now (which is what she said), that’s all I can ask for. What’s past is past and the people who call her rude names and act like she killed their puppy personally all because she dared to pose nude and go on a reality show annoys me to the point that I want to defend her because those comments are so over the top sexist and that upsets me. I don’t agree with her past but her first year as a royal has been a good start – she did about 50 engagements (to put it in perspective, the King did about 250), did a solo overseas visit as well as several solo visits in Sweden, and gave a nice speech that was over five minutes long (and in her second language). That’s a good first year. Next year will be interrupted by the birth of her child and maternity leave, but I look forward to how she will grow in her role in the years to come.

            In terms of Kate, you’re right, I have in the past compared Kate to other royals. I don’t do it for the sole purpose of making Kate look bad or making other royals look good, but as I said to JL it’s hard not to compare the royals to each other.

            In terms of never being satisfied with Kate, that’s possible. Even when she does something good there is always something she can improve on. But there have been times where I praised her outright even when others nitpicked (her St. Patrick’s Day outfit I loved but lots of others nitpicked because the browns didn’t match – which I still don’t care about because Kate looked great in that outfit).

            That’s why I wrote up this article. I wanted to say things Kate did right. I wanted to compare Kate solely to herself in order to point out her positives because we do point out her negatives so much.

            BTW, There are other royals I criticize as well. I’ve criticized William’s, Harry’s, and even the Queen’s speech delivery (because they all are bad); I criticized Albert for that “normal” comment (which still annoys me despite what everyone said); and I’ve criticized other royals for dressing badly (even Princess Madeleine whom I love).

          5. Sigh– KMR, great going through some angsty posts. I think a lot of people regard your blog as an automatic criticism of Kate, rather than an objective review of each offering the DOC puts forth. Many don’t realize that you cover the other royals because Kate’s had so few events to cover over the years (DM article yesterday hit W/K/H for doing so little–another proof they read your blog). Comparisons naturally come up since Kate obviously must have some brains after graduating with good marks at St. Andrews. She played sports but never gets involved at SportsAid (I think that’s her charity, and Britain has dozens of others–she should feel like a duck in water doing events with them). Your blog is growing to the next level, and once those new lines are drawn in, I think the balance you want to demonstrate will come through more. January is probably going to feel like lancing a cyst, but some Chinese food and a good movie is the best medicine if someone gets super snarky. AMB

          6. I follow SportsAid on Twitter and they tweeted that 2016 is their 40th anniversary year. So I’m hoping Kate will do several events with them this year.

          7. I’m going to do fashion polls for her 2015 fashion next week. I thought about doing more polls like the “how many engagements this year” ones but I’m not sure if people would be interested.

            If you’re interested in those types of polls, what kinds of questions would you like?

          8. WE, you’re dead wrong. KMR criticizes other royals quite a bit. She savages my Queen (Elizabeth II) for being too passive and being unable to give a speech without reading it off the page; she and I have disagreed on this many times. And the fact that Sofia posed for a nude magazine… And? What she does now is what matters, not what she did years ago. Being less critical of others in general is a good idea, which is why I’m being gentle with you; in 2015 I would have ripped your head off for making such a critical remark. But I’m being kind, so I will simply cite examples and leave it at that. And I’m leaving you with a smiley face. 🙂

          9. I like the idea of the fashion polls. She had some definite highs and lows last year. And having an engagements poll or *what we think Kate will accomplish this year poll* is a good one because it keeps the healthy criticism. It was a good tool to hold up actual results with expectations. I’d suggest; will Kate participate with her patronages this year? If so, how many? What is our favorite patronage/visit from last year (so many of them have great features and she’s missing out on highlighting more)? Will we actually see the kids or only occasional twitter pictures? If only pictures, how many?–and how do people really feel about that? I personal don’t agree with keeping the kids completely away from the public but we might have a good debate on this, because realistically, W&K won’t see the throne until probably 60s. My pet peeve-how many times we’ll hear Kate is on a *listening* tour. Will the nude pumps return? If not, have fun and pick what you think might be some good shoe/boot choices for her and we can all have fun choosing favorites. How many speeches? Do we think they’ll be any good or further head-bobbing/how great her childhood was (Kate, it’s about the charity, not you). Will we get to see Sir Ben again (please please) with Kate in stripes because yachting is for poor kids. Do we think Will might get jealous of the “fairy dusted” Kate? That last one will be interesting to watch around Ben or when they are on the India tour. How many times will Kate take a fashion risk?
            Blah, blah blah… I know I’m talking too much here. Hope you’re having a great morning. I got interrupted typing this up. My daughter stopped by and we were catching up. She’s doing pretty well and looking forward to this year.

          10. Seth: I don’t come here every day and don’t read everything but the general vibe I got is that a lot more criticism is oriented towards Kate rather than others that’s why I said it (and the blog is named after her so it’s only logic that she and her engagements are more followed). Therefore I agreed with KMR’s decision to see some of the positive sides in Kate too and that there isn’t only negativity in her and what she does. Regarding Sofia… no doubt that she’s doing good as a Royal but I will always see her in a certain lighting. Can’t help it. Anyway at the end of the day it isn’t even my country so… yea. As long as they’re happy and doing good, whatever really :))

      2. KMR, Oh dear. First of all, please don’t tell write you want to kill yourself. You will make me very, very, very worried that you intend to do it. And then I’ll have to try to track you down and stop you however it is necessary to do so. I’ve felt very very bad too. The day after I was sacked from volunteer position, I literally walked around in a daze. Of course Grandpa had died a week before, so I really felt like I had nowhere to go.
        I understand about having to compare you to you. I have a cousin who’s 8 days older than me. He’s always been taller than me, had better grades than me, had girlfriends way before me (like he’s had several), he did all sorts of genuine volunteer work, he’s mentored young fathers and everyone in our family LOVES him. I feel like he’s the perfect one and I’m the reject, the loser, whatever. He’s getting married in May to his “perfect” girlfriend. I don’t even have anyone to go with and I doubt in five months time that anything will change. I get insecure even today when he comes around. So I’ve decided (sorry for the language) f**k it. He’s Adam (the “first man on the Earth”) I’m Seth. He’s tall, muscular and handsome, I’m short, fat and ugly. But you know what? I’m me. He’s not. He never can be. And you my lovely KMR, are you. No one else can ever take that away from you. No one can ever show you up. You’re KMR. The only one that you do that is you. You compare yourself to you. To Hell with what anyone else thinks.

        1. Oh Seth! I’m sorry the comparison game has been played on you. My father’s Mother used to do that with us and my cousins. No matter what we did Nanna would say they had done it big, better, faster etc. Which meant we never saw them, until my Dad got fed up and called my eldest cousin one day when he was in the city they live. It turns out that Nanna was doing the same thing to them and this time we were the ones doing it bigger, better, faster and it was making them not want to have anything to do with us. It was her way of controlling the family, she wanted to be the only one everyone talked to. You ccould find he is getting the same thing about you and is always being compared to you?Go to the wedding solo, if you don’t go with a plus one then it will give you a chance to talk to more people, especially the older ones. You never know, you may not leave alone??? 🙂

        2. I hit a rough patch in November, but I’m good now.

          Re your cousin’s “perfect” girlfriend: Just because he says she’s perfect and they have the perfect relationship, doesn’t make it true. I have a friend who used to say his girlfriend was perfect and implied that they had the perfect relationship… until they broke up and since then he’s revealed all the problems with her and in their relationship.

          You should go solo to the wedding. As Cathy said, you may meet someone.

          1. It’s not they themselves that say they’re “perfect,” it’s everyone else. Of course they wouldn’t say they were “perfect” b/c they’re “nice” people. I mean they are nice but they would never say that. My cousin’s tall, handsome, Jewish. My grandmother mostly talks about how wonderful he is, everything he does for the community, etc., while I’m the slower, socially inept one. For example at one cousin’s wedding, he danced and then canoodled with the “hot” girl; I danced with my elderly great-aunts and got to take them home. But he’s the “good” one while I’m the “f**k up”. I’m the one who takes my grandmother to church every other week and listen to her opinions of everything after, I was the one who spent ten hours in the hospital when she broke her hip but he and his sister show up for less than two days and everyone talks about the “sacrifices” they made to come. On the other hand, it is implied b/c I’ve had my ambitions thwarted time and again by people discouraging me that I should be “grateful” to be do this sort of thing.
            Sorry to unload on you KMR. I’m sorry someone upset you again by talking about religion too.

        3. Seth, I have a cousin who’s going through almost exactly what you are. He’s trying to change things up by traveling nationally more (and hopefully more internationally than the one business trip to Singapore). I recently tried to tell him that he needed to (1) put an international trip on this year’s calendar and get ready to go! It will happen and change the negative narrative for himself. All year, people will live vicariously through his upcoming trip and pictures during. (2) make a date with someone. I think he’d rather get a root canal than go to a dating site, pick someone and go out. Not hoping to meet *the one* but just to baby steps start and finish a date. (3) get swanky. I bought my cousin a Polo shirt and he looks so much better. I’m trying to steer him toward shirts that complement his barrel chest and shorter height. He’s also balding so he wears a cute hat most of the time. He loves cats, so I’m trying to encourage him to go volunteer occasionally at the SPCA. He might meet a really great girl there. Getting him unstuck from the old negative, not letting the underlying anger at the unfairness that has plagued him consume him, and getting him to stop biting me now because I’m not coddling or reinforcing the negative is a challenge. Many people (and God knows I’m an expert on this because my WHOLE family is like this) are mired in their own BS and they can’t stop hurting others, because at least in my family, I think they like it. Winners and losers. I don’t play the game and it p*** them off. I don’t let them get to me (jezz that’s a Pink song, speaking of Pink–“Don’t let me get me”). So maybe you’ll take a little of what he won’t. He’d rather be angry at me for not either putting him down or agreeing always (aggressive-passive). Pretend your a blank page–here goes another song– and start over by doing your own inventory inside and out (but no hate/pragmatic), then go from there. You’ve always been defined by others. Throw that garbage away and define who you know you are, and where you want to go. AMB
          **I know you’ve got your mom to think about and probably don’t want to risk a trip. Ask her what she thinks. She may enjoy planning and going through the experience with you. It might take her out of the medical routine and give her some zest. Just a thought**

      3. Hear, hear!
        A good solid handshake to you, KMR! This approach you are describing worked wonders for my suicidal expression this year. Better we do good and say good, about ourselves and others. There is enough badness in the world, and others will do the job of putting us down just fine without our help.

  5. Happy new year for all you guys!
    GOD IS NOT DEAD!HE IS ALIVE AND LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!
    i like to sugest to you to see this great movies this year:
    “war room” and “GOD is not dead” that i learned so much with them!
    GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!

    1. Amen. Thanks for that margaretty7! Praise Him! If only Kate would know Him too, everything would change. I hope she does and pray for her.

    2. Please leave religion off the blog. Everyone is entitled to their own religious beliefs, but not everyone shares the same religious beliefs and I don’t want to 1) hurt people’s feelings, and 2) start an unnecessary war in the comments. This blog about royals is not the place for religious or political debate. Thank you.

      Also, please don’t write in all caps. It’s considered internet yelling.

      1. My answer was to runner!
        What is the problem to talk about Jesus? It is not religion! Religion was created by men!He is God!
        And I meant that if Diana were alive she would love to know that william and harry has Jesus in their lives that’s for sure!
        And sorry for the caps I was excited to want the best for you guys did not know that offend you so much!

        1. Without getting too much into a religious debate, not everyone holds the same beliefs that you do, and in the interest of keeping the peace and not starting unnecessary arguments I think it’s best if religion, god, etc. were left off the blog.

        2. I want to be clear: I have this stance in the best interest of everyone. Someone could easily say something that would offend you, just as you could easily say something that would offend someone else. This stance isn’t against one side or the other, it’s to try to prevent *everyone’s* feelings from getting hurt.

          1. I agree to please leave religious topics and beliefs off this blog. I have been away for a couple days but have peeked in here and there and this came up before. It’s getting annoying. Nobody wants anyone to be shoving their beliefs around.

          2. I think saying they’re “shoving their beliefs around” is a bit harsh. I think we all need to leave our beliefs out of the conversation – whether we are religious, non-religious, or anywhere in between. Just no religious talk at all, from both sides.

          3. Runner, I just saw this and I hope you come back. Sometimes we all have to step away if there is a point that upsets us. Everyone has a point that they feel strongly about and that’s ok. However, its better to take those points to a blog specifically on it. I’d love to talk to you about religion, but I would do it somewhere else and keep this about Kate. It would probably be a good thing to message KMR privately on her listed email if something comes up that makes any of us want to leave. That keeps it private and allows her to respond specifically without others saying things that crowd out her direct response or point about whatever the subject is (I got upset earlier last year when I was posting LOL as Sugar and left, so this is my advice to myself going forward). It also allows for that all important moment to not make a hasty decision. I respect your decision, but hope you know that we enjoyed your thoughts. I’ll save a seat at the pub for anytime that you might drop back in.

          4. Well said Sunny, many of us posting have religion as a huge part of our lives. This just isn’t the place for those discussions. KMR is trying really hard to keep neutral ground, so that people won’t feel they are being judged for their religious or political affiliations. She is not giving her opinion, either, or saying anyone is wrong for what they believe in. This blog is just not the forum for those topics. If we all follow the rules, we have great, interesting discussion about the things we gathered here to talk about in the first place.

          5. I apologize if you thought I was harsh but discussing religious beliefs, Jesus and the bible and who wrote it, etc. in the last two comment sections, there is some shoving beliefs around. Saying that “Kate should know Jesus… and everything will change” and who put the bible together (God, man, whoever) was just overboard and unnecessary to have to read. Not all of us care to read about Jesus’s place in our lives, etc. If so, I would go to a religious blog. As stated many times, this just is not the place. Nobody was malicious whatsoever. All I read was to leave religion for some place else and here it pops up again.

          6. I understand your point of view, but I also understand why some people would take offense to it. With the topic of religion, no matter what we say, what side of the religious coin we are on, someone will be offended – which is why this topic needs to stay off the blog completely.

            I think we should all drop this topic now.

          7. In fact, if it comes up again, I’m going to delete the comments. I really don’t want this to happen again.

          8. Accentbeach, your comment of “shoving beliefs” in your face is very offensive. I was referring to you. You hurt me, and if you don’t see that, I don’t know what to say. Thanks, Sunny, for your advice, but I needed to bring up how hurt I was by Accentbeach’s comment. I did shed tears here and another day..but all is forgiven. I don’t hold grudges, but sometimes you need to point out hurtful comments so that people are more mindful, that’s all.

            Please don’t delete this comment, KMR. I never got my chance to explain myself and tell Accentbeach why she hurt me.

          9. Runner! Glad to see you! If you give KMR permission to share your email with me, we can talk on our own time. I’ll share mine with her and you can choose. In the meantime, I’m sorry you were hurt over the comment (it was harsh) and I’ve got some healthy snacks if you want to bring your drink over.

  6. Great list of things for her to work on this year. As for the work numbers, it’s a shame a lot of what Harry does isn’t counted towards his numbers while Kate gives birth and it counts.

    I think this is going to be a very interesting year in the BRF. I don’t know why, it’s just a feeling.

    1. I didn’t do a count of Harry’s numbers so I have no idea what counted and what didn’t. But I assume his work in Africa did not count and his volunteering this fall did not count. Shame.

      1. Which I don’t understand. I mean if Kate giving birth and christening said child count as engagements (which I don’t think they should) then certainly Harry’s work in Africa and his time spent volunteering this fall should count as well. Or is used simply as a way to bolster the Cambridge’s numbers while keeping Harry’s low? Not by you KMR but by the Court 🙂

  7. The 21 year old Crown Prince of Jordan who is still in college did 59 engagements this year. Considering he is in the university 80% of the time, it’s still disappointing to know that Kate did less.

    My hopes for Kate in 2016:
    > Hire a professional stylist. Tash is can’t style. Rebecca can’t even dress herself. Kate needs to step it up a bit, clothes wise.
    > visit each patronages at least 4 times a year.
    >Work at least 3 times a week. Hopefully, that’s not too much.

  8. My hope for Kate is that she supports her charities more. If she is terrified of giving speeches I think just visiting more in general would raise awareness for her charities. I think visiting them once a month instead of once a year would be best. Seeing that an engagement lasts for about an hour, she could visit all of her charities within two days. Two days a month to visit charities is not a heavy schedule and I think it would reduce some criticisms of her.

    1. I would love to see her pay more attention to her charities involving children’s hospice. I think this is a subject that is difficult for people to hear about and Kate could really bring some much needed light (and donations) to this excellent cause.

  9. Did well:
    ~cut her hair (I personally love the shorter length on her!)
    ~did more solo engagements
    ~dresses were longer
    ~more up-dos (they really helped her overall appearance)

    Can improve upon:
    ~wear trousers/pants (NOT jeans) to engagements
    ~wear appropriate colors/outfits (bright colors to see children, subdued colors for somber occasions. Also, when she knows she’ll be moving around a lot, wear pants NOT skirts/dresses)
    ~more engagements in general
    ~visit her charities more, do more research on said visit before arriving
    ~less “fluff” stuff (galas, sporting stuff (yes, I know that that’s her strong area but…), movie premieres, etc)
    ~more serious engagements
    ~hire a stylist who can help her create a look (clothes and hair) that works for her
    ~less eye-makeup (I would love for her to cut back on the eyeliner and mascara though I doubt that’s going to happen)
    ~no more hunching/stand up straighter (she’s going to regret it in about 20 years if she doesn’t stand up/walk around straighter)

    1. Agree with so many of your comments about what Kate did well and what she needs to improve, Kimothy.

      Hats off toe KMR for such a positive way of starting the New Year. I think when we express positive comments and keep a more open mind to things, we help ourselves and benefit others. I know I can come down too hard at times on Kate and William, but I want to say that by being a bit more positive, I feel better about life in general.

      KMR, thanks for this post and Happy New Year to you and everyone.

  10. Every New Year’s Eve I like to take time to look back over the year, reflecting on the good and not so good that I’ve done. Yesterday as I was walking my dog in the desert, talking to the plants, animals. the water and sky going back over the past year, the one thing that really stuck out was how judgemental I’ve been in the last year. In the past I’ve never been one for gossip and have always been able to find something good in everyone, so what happened, why have I been quite the gossipy, judgemental bitch? The one thing that kept coming into my mind again and again was how I’ve acted on this blogsite. I have used this wonderful site as a means to unleash my inner bitch and for that I am deeply sorry, to myself, to Kate and to the wonderful people I’ve met here. When I read KMR’s first paragraphs this morning I cried, she understands and seems to be coming from the same place. Now, I’m not into continual flogging of oneself to bring about change in behavior, so with that in mind I will be trying to adopt a style suggested by KMR herself, seeing the positive, giving constructive criticism not just criticism for it’s own sake, not tear someone else down just to build up another (including myself) and most important be a bit kinder and more understanding to myself.

    Thanks so much to KMR and all you wonderful people, for letting me share my troubles and intentions for the future. You all are the only ones I’ve shared this with as most of my family and friends don’t even now who Kate is or thinks I’m a loon for being this interested and invested in her, so again thank you very much.

    1. Agreed. The same for me as well! Don’t be so hard on yourself 🙂 I just realized last night that much of what I was doing goes against everything I believe in. No one is perfect–neither Kate nor I. Who am I to judge? Many blessings in the New Yead!

    2. Love you Lauri! Reminding us (including Kate) to correct that posture is not bitchy! We’ll all be thanking you from keeping us from scoliosis. You are a great person and fun blogger. Kate is the kind of person who unfortunately makes you grit your teeth because she wanted this, but doesn’t want to take it seriously now that she’s got it. To be fair, I think she does what she’s told and is primarily concerned about subjection to whatever PC and QE want. If they wanted her out working more, I think she would be, BUT she could ask and say “I haven’t been to x, y, and z charities this year and would like to schedule a visit because they do great work.” I don’t think she *get in trouble* or be seen as trying to act like Diana for doing a few extra visits.
      I hope this is a great year for you and Mr., and sending you a hug.

      1. She may be following William’s lead in her lack of engagements, but she isn’t being told to work less by the Queen or Prince Charles. That is not how it works. All members of the BRF set their own schedules. This has been stated by the royals and their offices for many years.

        1. IMO I still think that QE/PC have influence and could encourage or discourage her work schedule. She or Jason may make the schedule, but there is influence about what she tackles and if she there are patronages that need more attention. Having said that, I do think there’s a singular lack of cohesion about how much W&K work. Maybe PC is quietly demanding more and Jason or private secretaries are responding by getting more on her schedule.

    3. Oh Lauri, please don’t be so hard on yourself. Though I definitely agree that we all should try to “dial it down,” the past is the past. We did what we did. We can only try to go forward from here. If anyone was a jerk (to be politically correct) last year, much of the time it was me. Of course I had a lot of s**t going on from July onward but that’s no excuse. I never do New Year’s resolutions but if you and KMR are going to try to accentuate the positive and be for a word, less bitchy, I’m in with you. And you can’t possibly be a “Any of various birds, of the order Gaviiformes, of North America and Europe that dive for fish and have a short tail, webbed feet and a yodeling cry,” b/c they don’t have opposable thumbs to type! 🙂
      Happy New Year to you and Mr.
      Seth

      1. Thanks Seth and believe me I’m not spending any time flogging myself, simply looking back over my year with honesty and eyes wide open. During my walk of reflection yesterday I did also look back the good I’ve done during the year I just shared this bit as it pertained to this site.

        I hope 2016 is a year of healing for your mother, you and your whole family!

    4. Lauri, I read your comment and can say I’ve never thought of any of your comments as bitch. You’ve often said things I’ve agreed with. I think that after reading your comment and reading the post (hello KMR) that you have both brought up some wise words that I will be trying to follow. I know I can be my own worst enemy and after a childhood where I was bullied (my sister was the school bully and she practiced on me) then a marriage to a violent man I’ve decided that this year I will be kinder to myself.
      KMR, I’m astonished you accomplish so much with depression like a dog gnawing at your heels. It may not sound like much but I’m sending you a virtual hug and a big “good for you”. Please let me know when ever you need another hug, there is more here to send!

      1. I’m so sorry Cathy you were bullied by your sister (I’m sorry but who does that to their own sibling?) and than your marriage. It seems like there are a lot more people who have been hurt than there are bullies in this world. Why are they allowed to get away with it then? Shouldn’t we all stand up and say “Hell no?” Hugs!

        1. Hi Seth, yes, I know… Who does bully like that? I think there’s something mis-set in her brain. She even set it up so I couldn’t get to go to Dad’s funeral. I’m competition to her and that’s it. I don’t understand how my lovely parents produced her.
          Thanks for the kind words! Now, imo, I do think you should go solo to that wedding. Talk to the older members of the family (says the person who is trying to capture as many family stories as possible before older generations pass and the stories are lost) and dance with the older ladies too. They’ll all go home thinking… Adam who?

    5. I have felt that I can be way too judgemental, too Lauri. Thanks for posting this. I never think of the “B” word when I think of you, though. Your posts usually sparkle with wit and a happy take on things. When you are critical, I don’t think that you are being mean and horrid at all, so please don’t feel that way.

      KMR, let me repeat, I love your taking the positive approach. I am grateful for this blog and for all your hard work. When you have written of anxiety and depression in the past, I hope you know that we feel for you and your words resonate with many. There are challenges we all face in life and sometimes it is easy to be hard on ourselves and on others. I think that for the most part, many of our negative words that are attached to Kate come from our frustrations that she is forever being glorified when we often don’t feel she lives up to those words.

      Can I be honest and say that sometimes I have had a horrible feeling that she comes to this site and reads the posts and must feel just awful. Other times I think that could not be possible. If I were famous, I don’t think I would want to read any or every thing about me. Maybe, in the beginning of my public persona, but certainly not after that.

      I hope that doesn’t sound strange.

      And, special note to Lauri, I am watching my posture now thanks to you. Shoulders back and head held high. Even on days when I just want to stay in bed with the covers pulled up. Oh, those days are gone with a toddler around! But, I can dream, can’t I?

  11. Loving your post and new philosophy. I too struggle every day to find the positive. Celebrating successes rather than brooding over “things undone” is a good strategy. I have enjoyed your blog this year. I found you after googling “websites that criticize Kate Middleton” and there you were! I visit the other sugary blogs and enjoy them but sometimes find them to be too pro Kate. I didn’t see the comment area on your blog for a long time, just enjoyed the photos and your work. Recently noticed the comment area and found it in time for a rather raucous discussion. Wow, that was an eye opener. Finally found the nerve to post a few days ago. I may continue to just observe. Anyhow…I agree with your suggestions for Kate. I’m finding it challenging to write in this tiny comment box and find myself using choppy sentences. Happy New Year and Good Luck with schooling!

    1. Hi Jules, glad you’re here and looking forward to reading your POV. This isn’t a pub for the fainthearted, but KMR never waters down the whiskey or holds back the conversation, and we appreciate her for it. Happy 2016!

    2. Hi Jules! I know there were a few dust ups in December, but I hope that didn’t put you off commenting completely.

      What’s past is past and we cannot change it. Dwelling on what we could or should have done isn’t going to help us going forward. I think focusing on bettering ourselves going forward is the most beneficial.

  12. Some quotes for the New Year

    “Take tiny, wobbly, baby steps towards action. I made so much more progress in one year by doing a few small things consistently than I did in thirty years of overthinking and massive to-do lists.” – Ishita Gupta

    “You have to meet people where they are, and sometimes you have to leave them there.” – Iyanla Vanzant

    “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – Walt Disney

    “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” – Vincent van Gogh

    “Showing up is not all of life – but it counts for a lot.” – Hillary Clinton

    1. “Be true to you”- ??

      Happy New Year, everyone. I wish for Kate to become her own woman, more and more. She went from living in the long, overbearing (but loving, I believe) shadow of her mother, to the longer shadow of her overbearing and unhappy husband and his 1000 yr heritage. I think she can do it, could take a while, but I bet by the time Charlotte heads off to school, the first 3 rows better step back! I have always been on her side, but have no problem holding her accountable. Life of great wealth and privilege, how can we not?

    2. My2Pence – some great quotes to use as touchstones as we travel through this year and each faces our own challenges; thanks for sharing them. And thanks, KMR, for disclosing your own personal struggles too. It is incredibly brave.

      If I were to advise Kate on how best to use her position for good, the quotes selected by My2Pence would be good points from which to reflect on how things have gone these past few years and what could be improved. This is what I’d suggest:

      CREATING AN EMPOWERING ROLE FOR KATE
      • Get a few really decent people together (perhaps from her charities) and who have made a difference for the better – not from the royal scene and definitely NOT PR/ spinners – and ask their honest advice as to how her position could be leveraged to help more people. These could be informal gatherings at Anmer, but structured enough for a course of action to be drawn up and monitored for follow-through/ re-jigging, as needs be.
      • Appoint a no-nonsense advisor who will be straight as a gate with her about what’s good, what can be improved upon etc and together set about working to an agreed upon plan. Again, no sycophants/PR people.
      • Appoint an advisor who can direct her reading/knowledge about her various charities, their roles, unique problems etc so that she can contribute something more substantial than a smile. I reckon Harry could help here too, though it might cause issues if he is perceived as more skilled (= familial jealousy!)

      PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
      • I agree, KMR, with your take on Kate’s photos. If photography is one of her passions, then learn more technically (either formally as well as looking at the work of photographers across the commercial and fine art sectors). Experiment more, be self-critical in order to become better.
      • Appoint an actor/coach/writer to help her with content, delivery and confidence. It is important that Kate has, quite literally, a voice and she needs to conquer her nerves to a greater degree than she has these past five years. It is her job to do so. I’m thinking of a Richard e. Grant-type figure: intelligent, approachable, skilled and talented.

      PERSONAL IMAGE
      • Appoint someone who could better advise her on appropriate clothes to wear for official engagements. Again, a no-nonsense person who has brilliant knowledge of (particularly) the British fashion industry, from established to up-and-coming. The UK is nothing short of fantastic in this area and I am sure there could be someone who could manage this task.

      I’m not suggesting that advisors be full-time or forever; just to get things underway and evaluate along the way. I reckon the above approach could also help William a lot too. I am suggesting that when boundaries are set and understood, everyone benefits.

      I agree with MaventheFirst that the bar has been set far too low. Of course, for change to occur, the person concerned has to admit there is a problem and want actively to do something to correct any imbalance, be prepared to work at it. That is entirely in Kate’s hands, and hers alone.

  13. Two questions as a newbie. Is there a guide on this website to help understand the many acronyms used here? (Usually I am able to figure them out but takes some time) Also, When you go back to read comments is there a way to differentiate between comments read and unread? Thanks for the help.

    1. There is no guide currently for acronyms used, but I’m sure we could come up with one.

      Re comments read and unread: I don’t think so. There is a comments RSS feed in the META section in the sidebar, but that’s for new comments, I believe, not comments on older articles.

          1. Okay but what’s a meme? Sorry I really don’t understand the internet/twitter/instagram jargon 🙂 You don’t have to answer as it would probably lead to many more questions 🙂

  14. Happy New Year my lovely KMR! Oh I think you are too hard on yourself. My New Year’s goal (aside from being kinder, gentler and less running off my mouth every two seconds) is accepting myself for me. All of me. The good, the bad, the ugly (my face) 🙂 Be gentle with yourself. Churchill is alleged to have said “To improve is to change, so to be perfect is to have changed often.” And don’t underestimate to simply let “The players gonna play, play, play, play haters gonna hate hate, hate, hate, hate, baby I’ just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it off, shake it off.” LOL

    1. Dearest Seth, you were so kind to me up thread and I would like to extend some kindness back to you. It’s distressing to hear that you consider yourself ugly, please know that physical appearances don’t make a person beautiful or handsome, it’s what’s inside that does. I know it’s a well worn cliche but true none the less. Take your perfect cousin Adam, on the outside he’s got it all looks, height, the “perfect girlfriend”, etc but what does the perfect man with the perfect life do when confronted with the imperfections of life? He falls apart, unable to cope because he’s never had to deal with imperfections before. Now take the man who’s short, heavy and not so physically attractive, the man who’s struggled with life, who’s tasted life’s imperfections what does he do when dealt a blow? He rises, he pulls himself up, why because he has so many times before. The imperfections of life don’t scare him, he’s faced them all before, to him it’s just another day. In my opinion that man is the man that is the most interesting, that man is the one when the chips are down can be counted on to fight the good fight.

      I’m sorry if I’ve droned on a bit too much I just wanted to let you know how valuable you are here.

      1. Aw, thanks Lauri. I’m not quite as down on myself as I may have potrayed though being in the shadow of someone else my entire life, be it my cousin or my twin sister, has shaped me. My sister was salutatorian of our high school class, she won award after award at the senior award ceremony; I was in the lower third of the class. She went to a top liberal arts college and graduated with Latin honors Phi Beta Kappa; I went to community college, failed out of a liberal arts college and ended up with a B average at a mid ranked regional state university. She lived in Guatemala for two years, she studied abroad at the University of St. Andrews (where Will and Kate attended), she holidayed in Spain and Switzerland, she visited the Scottish Highlands, Inverness, Edinburgh; I been on one six day guided tour of Ireland. She’s been happily married for almost four years to her soul mate, a Ph.D. academic who’s one of the brightest stars in his field (volcanology); I’m approaching 30 without ever having even had a girlfriend.
        Anyway thanks. I appreciate the sentiment. I’m glad some people believe in me, even if I don’t. 🙂

      2. Lauri is a very wise woman, Seth, take good note; she speaks the absolute truth here. Some people appear to get all the breaks, and I’m sure you are pleased that your sister is happy doing what she wants to do. But often when issues arise people who seem to have it all just can’t handle things because there is little resilience developed. They fall apart as they simply have not been sufficiently tested in life. Others who have had a tougher road to hoe find ways through difficult situations and come out the other side stronger and more empathetic. Grades are not all that vital once you’re in the real world. It’s what you do with knowledge that counts. It’s the sincerity and honesty through which you conduct yourself that matters, your trustworthiness – whatever you hold fast as values that define you. Your trip to Ireland was just your first overseas holiday, not your last. The next will come along at some point, as will a lovely woman. Your turn will come; in the meantime, be kind to yourself.

    2. KMR, I would like to amend what I wrote directly above. It is impossible to “shake off” depression/suicidal thoughts and/or actions. You told me b/f you like Taylor Swift, so I figured if I can get you to smile or laugh, it’s something in the right direction. I was not suggesting you just “shake off” depression. Just so we’re all clear. 🙂

  15. KMR, I LOVE this post idea.
    I too found myself becoming so irritable and negative towards Kate the past 2 years. This style of review is perfect. No sugar coating, no unrealistic comparison to others, just how Kate can improve herself (and there are MANY). I think you should leave this post at the top for at least a couple days before getting buried!

    Happy New Year KMR and to everyone! I haven’t had a chance to post here in a couple months, but hopefully this year I can be more involved in this forum, which I find to be the best place for a *reasonable* discussion about Kate and the royals. One of my most favourite blogs 🙂

    I think there is another Stephanie here as well now, so I will be going by Psych Nurse Stephanie onwards ;P

  16. Kudoso for your honesty. I want Kate to succeed. I will loosely use a quote that I use a lot – “To whom much is given much is required.” My biggest qualms has been for Kate to do meaningful work. She married a man and his dynasty. She cannot be a housewife. She has a platform to put out good in the world and she isn’t.

    2015 was a good year for her. She has a good start. I hope that she realizes that she brings value and awareness to any charity and issue she wishes to work with.

    Great job for starting on a positive note, KMR.

    1. Speaking of positives Rhiannon, we are all ready to get you a date with Harry. Anyone want to join me in sending letters to Harry (or Twitter or whatever) to see if we can get our lovely Rhiannon a romantic date when he comes to FL this summer? Would that be super far for you?

          1. You could try and get an invite to somewhere where he’ll be such as Royal Ascot…but you’d still have to wait until he came over to you.

          2. Okay, I understand the whole “Don’t be like Kate/learn from her mistakes” thing, and I understand that if one wants Harry then one must go about getting him in a way that he will actually like, but I can’t help but think “Why can’t a woman take control and ask the guy out?” A woman doesn’t have to let the man come to her, she could go get him. Whether that would work on Harry, whether he would like that, would be the issue, but in general I don’t think a woman can’t go get what she wants.

          3. In reply to KMR (which I can’t do, for some reason), I think the singer Pink proposed, in public, to the man who’s now her husband (or was). I always thought that was kind of awesome.

          4. I heard Pink say in an interview that her husband initially asked her and she turned him down and later changed her mind and asked him in public as a way of saying ‘Yes – I will marry you’; so he still asked first.

            The point is that women can take the initiative in their jobs but romance is different; how will you ever know he wants you if you pursued him and that he’s not just going along with it because it’s easy? Only if a man picks YOU out of a crowd and plucks up the courage to walk over to you and ask you out can you be assured that he really wants you.

          5. R, what happens if the man is painfully shy and doesn’t have a clue how to approach a woman successfully. Why can’t a woman take the initiative? Aren’t we trying to be a gender equal society? If so, your approach would only allow for men to approach.

          6. How will a man ever know a woman wants him if he pursued her, and that she’s not just going along with it because it’s easy?

            What if the man who approaches you is only interested in a hookup? What if the woman who approaches a man is only interested in a hookup?

            I think there is a lot more to knowing whether a person “really wants you” and is genuine and interested in a real relationship than who approaches whom first.

            I think women should be allowed to take the dominant position in a relationship and that includes making the first move. Just as men should be allowed to take the dominant position in a relationship. And both women and men should be allowed to take the submissive position if that’s their choice.

            It really is to each their own. Not every man wants to be dominant and not every woman wants to be submissive, and neither should be condemned for not following the societal standards.

            Like I said, to each their own. I’m not trying to convince you, R, not to think or act the way you do if that’s the way you enjoy and prefer to think and act in relationships. I’m just giving an alternate point of view.

          7. I personally like the Grace Jones POV when a woman is interested in a man “Grab him, take him” (lol!–what a fabulous woman). Not literally of course, but women can definitely let a man know she’s interested in him and see where things go from there. It’s like dancing. You don’t even have to be submissive or dominant, you share moves together. Ok, now I’m laughing at how that sounds.

          8. Males are the initiators; it’s biology not social science. Since the example of dancing is given: who is the dominant (i.e the leader) one in the dance? Well it’s the man and the woman is following his lead. Can you imagine a dance where the woman is leading the man? No, it’d be awkward and weird……Seth: be honest you would never value a woman who came on to you as much as one you had to pluck up the courage to go and talk to and were successful with. And KMR: of course women are ‘allowed’ to approach men but I bet every single woman deep down would prefer the man to approach her. Grace is a powerful quality….. Rhiannon: you could find a way to be where Harry is (Royal Ascot, Royal Garden party etc) but you would then have to keep your distance and not approach him at all until he approached you first.

          9. R, your view is antiquated and insulting. I think either should be able to initiate. This is 2015, not 1950. Should my wife only speak when spoken to as well? It’s the initial approach I have trouble with. There is a particular double standard since men are expected to still pay for most things but women are getting more college and professional degrees and professional jobs than men. And once the initial approach is out of the way, I have no problem driving, walking on the street side of the sidewalk, holding doors open, pumping gas, taking out the rubbish, building the fire, pouring the wine, undoing her bra… and punching in the stomach, the guy dumb enough to touch her rear end. Is that enough initiative for you or need I elaborate?

          10. @R: Oof. I have so many things to say about this subject. But in the interest of not causing a big issue, I will only say that no, not every single woman deep down wants to be submissive. Some women deep down really want to be dominant.

            @Seth: Please don’t think you need to prove how “dominant” you are. There is no need to.

            BTW, some women like driving, and paying, and taking off clothes. Some women really do like being the dominant partner in a relationship.

      1. Seeing if we can encourage him to meet you for a date won’t step over any lines. It happens all the time here in America where celebrities go to dinner or event with a fan. And Rhiannon, you’re not the chasing type, so everything’s covered.

    2. I would prefer, “with great power comes great responsibility”. Agree with everything you wrote Rhiannon!

      I actually feel that Kate is exhausted from trying to stay skinny and polished that she has no more energy to focus on what is really important. It is not easy to lose that baby weight at such a speed. She puts her time and effort in all the wrong places, a few hours in hair salon and choosing outfits before appearances instead of preparing her speeches well for example.

      She could try to fake her interest, but as long as the result of her work is out there, I believe nobody will complain. After all she started all these charities merely because she married a prince, not because she really wanted to do it. But now that she is in it, she must take all these seriously and work hard.

      Btw, Happy New Year Rhiannon, KMR and everyone! KMR thanks so much for your hardwork during 2015, i would really look forward to reading your posts this year as well!!

      1. Uncle Ben, is that you!?

        I agree with you, Mia, that as long as Kate is putting in the effort and the charities are getting something good out of the deal, I’m okay with some fake it till you make interest and her not having done any charity work before marriage. The past is past and it doesn’t matter what she did or did not do during the girlfriend years; she’s married now and it matters what she does as a married in royal. Ignore the “I should/could have done this” and work hard now.

        Happy New Year to you, Mia!

    3. Kate started to show some progress in the end of 2015 – with the focus on mental health issues, giving the speech, cutting the hair, saying words, etc – and I really hope she keeps up that progress going in to 2016.

    4. You do realize that this “quote” is a verse from the Bible, right, Rhiannon? Luke 12:48 states” Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required.” Are we allowed to use Bible verses on here?

      I wholeheartedly agree with it–but I thought Christianity was a no go…

      1. My apologies for my oversight, Runner. My statement for keeping religion out of this blog and then stating it earlier is my error. Thank you for keeping me honest.

      2. It’s not just Christianity. I remember back a few months ago I was quoting a speech by Queen Rania and in it she talked extensively about Islam, and I had to be very careful about what I quoted because I didn’t want to get too religious and potentially start anything, because I know that religion can be a very hot button topic (if my Facebook feed is anything to go by).

        I don’t know whether bible verses should be allowed but I would lean toward not just to be safe (thanks for pointing that out, by the way). I just don’t want people – from all religions, and on both sides of the religious v non-religious coin – to be offended. It’s not worth offending people, you know.

      3. There are some phrases from the Bible, Torah, Koran etc. in common usage and they transcend organized religion. To exclude them excludes some wonderful words of wisdom. Rhiannon did not use a bible verse, and she did not cite the bible as Runner did. Therefore, she was quoting a powerful bit of wisdom that just happened to originate in the bible. And I think it’s very appropriate for this discussion in particular.

        I’m signed on as Druid but that is not who normally am as I have no wish to get into a fight over this.

  17. I want to put so many things at once. Wishing you a happy 2016. Thank you for taking what I said and not only applying to Kate, but encouraging yourself and all that you do. That means a lot, and I’m so glad that focus helps you to forge ahead with strength and confidence. Appreciation for dealing with so many viewpoints, flare-ups and keeping the conversation coming from your own interesting POV.
    Depression and anxiety just flat out suck. I could write it up nicer, but I find it refreshing when people keep it real, so that’s about as real as it gets. What’s worse, they keep us rooted in whatever situation. Not having others support us for who we are either is a root cause or exacerbates depression’s pull. The bottom line is that I’m very glad you are in good place to go forward this year, and this article is great from top to bottom. It’s golden to why many of us read and participate in your blog. You hit the points, back them up with substantial reasoning, and give a clear, impartial idea of how progress can be made. Again, Happy New Year! I sincerely believe it will be a good one for you.

    1. “Depression sucks” is the most succinct way to describe it.

      I’m really glad you came up with this idea in a purely selfish way because I used the idea for myself. It’s good to do for Kate, but even better to do for myself. I’m hoping that by being clear about what I did well and what I want to work on moving forward I will be able to accomplish a lot more this coming year.

      Thanks again for this idea!

      1. Looking forward to hearing whatever you’d like to share about positive changes you see throughout this year.
        For Kate, I’d add as pluses wearing the Beulah scarf in May–I’ve harped about her adding scarves and she did (and looked nice). I hope to see her mixing it up more and not sticking to some template she needs to ditch. Also big plus that she visited the women’s prison. Although she looked very nervous, good job highlighting social challenges and potential solutions. She needs to visit again this year along with all her patronages. Huge opportunities this year to highlight birth anniversaries of Roald Dahl (I love Matilda!), Beatrix Potter (I grew up reading almost daily) and the incomparable Charlotte Bronte.

  18. Happy New Year to everyone—with special wishes for KMR!

    I am not big into resolutions as they all end up falling apart after a few weeks and that makes me feel worse.

    As far as my expectations from Kate, I remain cautiously optimistic based on the incremental positive baby steps she took in 2015 (cutting her hair and delivering a speech). However, she is capable of doing so much more, but it remains to be seen whether she could actually deliver and meet/exceed expectations. Till then, we shall see how 2016 unfolds.

  19. Hmmm good things she has done this year:

    Well the speech she gave was brave and apparently she wrote it herself (not sure if I fully believe that though)…but it was kind of ruined by the 36 hair flicks she did in what? just 2 and a half mins (I counted them).

    Looked incredible just 12 hours after birthing Charlotte…this might be bad for women everywhere though who now feel they are not measuring up if they can’t do likewise.

    Hemlines were lower; no flashing this year?

    Best thing she could do in 2016 I think is accept that William just doesn’t love her and initiate a separation. The title, the house, the riches, the attention…it can’t be worth being in a marriage with a man who (deep down) you know settled for you. Or if she thinks it is then she really is a shallow b****h who deserves all the criticism she gets.

    1. Im just not sure whether they do or don’t have a happy marriage. My suggestion was going to be that the two of them need to sit down and decide if they want to be King and queen. If they do they need to start showing it. Better outfits and hairstyles are important I do understand that but the REAL issue for me is whether they are both prepared to up their game work wise. Get help both from top professionals but also from other married in royals like Mary Max and Leti. Invite P Madeleine and her kids for a play date ! Turn to those very few people who really understand the bubble and ask for help.
      Or get out and let Harry take over .
      They can’t have their cake and eat it.
      Thanks KMR for your wonderful post and all the best for 2016.

      1. No they wont invite other royals for play-dates etc; the BRF think they are above foreign royals it seems. They meet for public engagements but don’t hang out with them.

  20. Apparently she wants 3 children with Wills though, so if she gets pregnant this year then don’t expect the engagements tally to change that much!

    1. Supposedly Will wanted a son and a daughter. It’ll be late 2016/early 2017 before another baby if they’re going to have three. Give the poor woman a rest. It’s hard being a working mom.

      1. I don’t know… I wouldn’t be surprised if she got pregnant just before, or soon after, Mustique and could only start working again, due to HG, in April in time for India.
        Take May off after a “gruelling” tour.
        Followed by the regular couple of June engagements with the RF.
        Followed by a maximum of 4-6 engagements over the summer….
        Zero in August as per usual.
        Then a few in September, before 5 weeks of maternity leave and then another kid in October.

        Her usual patterns.

  21. I know I’m a newbie but having been in bed unwell for a couple of weeks I feel I am getting to know this blog. So I hope you will accept my apology in advance if you think I’m being presumptuous but my thoughts of what I will do on this blog in 2016 are as follows.
    No mention of politics or religion- I’ve seen it causes pain and misunderstanding.
    No horrid personal comments about people being ugly etc
    Try to find some light in all situations and find one positive thing to say.
    And if I get irritated by a comment I will try to ignore it ! I’m here for fun and relaxation and some chat about royals which would not interest my totally male household who only talk sport.

    1. Those are great commenting goals for 2016, Birdy. I hope you get well, and Happy New Year!

  22. I really appreciate your comments on depression and anxiety and on making an effort to embrace more positive thinking. That’s actually one of the reasons I tend to limit my comments, since I very seldom have anything positive to say about Kate. I realized at one point that constantly thinking in a negative way, even about someone else, wasn’t helping me at all. (This isn’t to sound self-righteous, by the way. It’s just an observation about my own experience. For others, I think recognizing problems and commenting on them can function as a kind of catharsis, so that’s a different experience altogether.)

    But I do enjoy being part of the community here, even in a small way, and I look forward to seeing how things evolve in 2016.

  23. I love this approach! It never really occurred to me to think about critiquing Kate from distinctly different perspectives, but I like it. She is going to be eternally frustrating for those of us who see so clearly what is going on and her obvious areas of weakness. So just comparing her to her previous efforts and behavior is fairly fruitless. Unless a miracle occurs and she and Will take their heads out of the sand, she is not going to suddenly become the Duchess many hoped she would be. It’s much more realistic to put her in the context of herself, rather than expecting/hoping for her to live up to the conventional standards. It’s more positive and if she ever has the good sense to read what the non sycophants are saying, she might actually find practical advice to improve her public image. Sadly, I have the feeling that she has been encouraged to believe all the hoopla about being Royal and magically superior to other people, but to completely ignore any and all negative feedback or criticism. I absolutely understand needing to keep a balance mentally and emotionally when it comes to being a public figure. I think anyone in that position needs to take extreme fans and extreme critics with a dash of salt and be secure enough in who you are as a person that neither flattery or insults make much of an impression. As we saw with Diana, it takes years of giving it the old college try and creating a support network of people who support you, but don’t just tell you what you want to hear. If a high profile person took every single criticism to heart, they wouldn’t be able to get out of bed. At the same time, if for example, you’ve married into the Royal family, it’s vital to stay in touch with what people are thinking if you want to continue even having a Royal family. The opinion of the people who foot their bills should be a high priority, if they care about the continuation of the monarchy and their free ride at all. If I were in Kate’s position, I would make sure to have a support system of trusted friends and a therapist to keep me grounded (which she does not appear to have) and I would have routine contact with regular people and work on developing some kind of a rapport or even awareness of what the average person’s life is like. Diana was extremely privileged, but worked up until her marriage and then threw herself into charity work and making real connections with people. She was sheltered and wealthy, but chose to take off the rose colored glasses and use her position to really make a difference. Kate is much older and had years longer to learn about her job and what being a Royal entails. She makes me think of an old guy I knew who was obsessed with winning the lottery, but when I asked him what he’d spend it on, he was stumped and literally hadn’t thought that far ahead, he just wanted the thrill of winning. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s similar to Kate’s experience. I can see her being so totally focused on getting the ring that she didn’t spend much time thinking about the duty and obligations that come with marrying a Royal heir. Regardless, no matter what criticism comes her way, she has the ability and choice to either withdraw in a pool of self pity or to take it constructively and work on improving herself as a public figure and supposed role model.

    I don’t have a lot to add to her positives and “to work on” ideas, because you all already put it perfectly. Basically, positives were longer hems/less skin/no flashing, the sausage curl snip, using her words (or Jason’s, but with her mouth) and she didn’t accidentally inhale anyone while laughing at a sports event and was calmer and a bit less manic? As far as continuing goals, keep the pace going with charity events/appearances and take baby steps towards really devoting time and energy into her patronages. For example, instead of a meet and greet lasting roughly an hour or two, she could actually spend an entire working day, dressed down and helping out, hands on. That would give her a sense of what most people do during the day and she would be much more likely to actually get to know people, hear their stories and check back with them. Seeing a genuine effort like that would be a huge step forward for her and would still be minimal compared to the other senior Royals. It would also help her if she made an effort to connect with regular people on levels that create a bond. She could share more about the Cambridge kids, for example, just typical parent anecdotes, be seen out and about with them a bit more or ever as a full family (I mean a non-official event/off duty). The public would be thrilled because there are a lot of parents of the same age with toddlers and it would create a bond between them and the Cambridges. They could do it in such a way that they maintained privacy and safety, but also so that it seemed sincere and less like throwing the occasional bone to the dog. If they were seen out doing normal things with their kids and as a family (or as a couple, for that matter) there would be a rush of excitement because they have been so hidden away, but people would get bored, like they do with all celeb baby sightings over time and they would have the bonus of the people loving George and Charlotte. Steps in that direction would be a huge improvement, i think.

    1. Bets, “…she didn’t accidentally inhale anyone while laughing at a sports event…”, priceless!! Her huge grin always reminds me of of what Little Red Riding Hood must have seen on the wolf’s face, while he was tucked up in her grandmother’s bed! Just so very many teeth being bared in big grin

  24. I am so happy about the haircut also. I want to see her do something besides leave it hanging. The bangs are perfect for putting it up or half up, but just look shaggy when she has it all down.

    I look forward to seeing her progress in motherhood. I’ve enjoyed her pictures of her babies and I really liked her body language towards them in the family pictures. (Will is another story I won’t get into.). It makes me feel she has established a connection with both of them which I hope to see deepen and continue. I just hope William doesn’t get in the way of that, be it jealousy or restricting released photos.

    Lastly I hope her emphasis on mental health is lasting. First it seemed it would be sports, then children, but she didn’t seem to revisit them. I hope she does revisit mental health related issues.

  25. This is a great idea, KMR! I think we could all use a little more positivity and maybe constructive criticism rather than blatant bashing! I hope Kate really steps up in 2016 and shocks us all. I thought her pictures of Charlotte were adorable photos, so maybe we can see more of that talent- it’s not a big chore for her, and it does contribute to her family’s history! Maybe the slight number improvement of 2015 implies greater things to come, we can hope.

  26. Don’t know where to put this but thought people who have access to British tv would be interested that there is a programme on Monday about Charles and the Princes Trust with Camilla Will and Harry contributing. Thought it would be interesting to see the interaction between the boys? ITV at 9pm
    I’m interested to see who will take over this awesome Trust once Charles becomes king. I dislike Charles but nevertheless give him huge credit for this institution.

    1. I don’t know if Prince Harry is going to take over the Trust. I don’t think so though. Charles has set up arrangements to separate himself from the Prince’s Trust so it will be self-perpetuating when he becomes King. 🙂

    2. It would be good if he had one of the boys heading it once he become King, but I sure he’s not opening that avenue of thought until the sad day that QEII is no longer here. Plus, he might be keeping a thoughtful eye on how the boys continue to develop.

      1. I think it would be good for one of them to start to get involved. If I am right Edward is now fully involved with the DOE with his Father so there will in time be a seamless handover. I realise the trust is becoming very large but I think a royal patron who is fully involved would be necessary for it to really continue us to thrive. Let’s see what is said on the to on Monday.

  27. kate dated william for nearly a decade, been in the RF almost 5 years, and yet all we have heard from her PR, shes going to learn this and that, improve on this and that, shes knew in the firm (which she was not in the first place) off to her honeymoon, is taking time to learn, shes pregnant, shes on maternity leave and it goes on and on, this woman is really exhausting with her endless excuses, I personally think its a done deal, unless a miracle happens, with kate, is what you see is what you get!!!!

    1. With all the support from her family, firm, household, beauticians etc I don’t think she needs another team to shelter her and guide her. She is highly educated woman, mature and I am sure she will learn to seem in high waters. Meanwhile she is highly entertaining. Many of the posting folks seem to be depressed. My advise to them will be to eat healthier food and increased contact with nature. Everything best in New Year and please take care of yourself first before you offer help to others.

      1. I think most everyone is doing well actually. There are always things that make for a bad day, or situations that make us feel bad. I ran into a neighbor of mine the other day that I haven’t seen for months. I had my younger daughter with me, and the first words out of my neighbor’s mouth to my daughter were “Wow, you are short. You haven’t grown at all.” It made her feel bad. People do this crap all the time. They’re like “What? I didn’t ….” I used to always turn the other cheek or make excuses, then I had an epiphany. Does that work the other way? So when I see her girls, it should be totally fine to comment on the one who has a huge overbite. Hmmm maybe not?
        The point is that people say intentionally harsh things, sometimes here on this blog, and it’s got to depress KMR to have to protect/defend while evaluating. As far as others, I’m glad they feel this is a healthy place where they can share and others care about them. We are all carrying burdens; it’s good to share.

      2. Kate does provide entertainment and escapism for many. I would like to offer that your statement of “Many of the posting folks seem to be depressed…”

        I think that statement may come across harsh to someone who is currently or previously battled depression. While I am sure that your intention was good, that statement can have an impact to people who may be reading it.

          1. +1
            I’m not depressed but I know more about it then I would like having married into a family where it is a real issue across generations. Good diet doesn’t harm but it is certainly not the answer.
            I think KMR does an amazing job and her honestly is inspiring.

      3. While a poor diet and lack of sunlight can be factors in depression, they are not the only factors in depression. There are a lot of factors which cause depression and the causes of depression can differ from person to person. Mainly it’s about brain chemistry and thought process. A healthy diet and sunlight – though they may help – are not going to change the negative feedback loop in one’s mind.

        In order to battle depression, one has to battle one’s own mind. One cannot trust one’s own mind for fear one’s own mind is tricking them. One has to change the very foundations of how one views oneself. It’s not as simple as diet and sunlight – I wish it were.

        1. Agreed. It’s also awareness of what people say, and thinking “why did they say that?” Most of us are reacting, and forget to think that sometimes that’s how a person feels better about themselves–putting someone else down like in my example above. They are oversensitive about self, insensitive about everyone else, and make excuses about it. Now that I’ve learned, and I just look at a person who’s said something mean, they back up fast– I give them that *what did you just say* look, or the *that was mean*. I don’t react, I act. And it’s changed everything. It’s definitely made me much stronger. Before, I would be hurting about something a person said. Now, I throw that grenade right back at them. Like KMR said, it’s the mental point.

        2. My take- I don’t believe Ale was trying to trivialize what anyone suffering from depression is going through, or saying “here’s a quick fix”. She just made a comment educated by what she reads on this blog, and offered support through her suggestion. No more to it than that.

          1. Too true, or as my grandmother used to say “Don’t ruin others stew while yours is burning.”
            I miss her all the time.
            Happy 2016 all.

          2. I don’t think Ale was trying to be malicious either. I’ve heard others say the same thing about diet and sunlight, and I want to say the jobs with the highest depression rate are ones where the workers get very little sunlight. So there is something to be said for Ale’s advice.

            With my comment, I wanted to elaborate on factors in depression and what it’s like to battle the illness.

          3. Thank Ray, definitely I didn’t have intentions to offend just to help with with remedy which is beneficial to everybody. There are so many different stages of depression; starting with everyday “blues” to clinical depression. It is serious illness affecting 20 million adults in USA. Exercise or even brisk walk produces endorphins in the brain which reduce depression, boost self esteem, improve sleep and in general diminish the perception of pain. Remember the movie “Legally blond” when Ress eliminated one of the suspects of the murder plainly because she exercised, therefore she was a happy person and happy people do not kill. Clinically depresses people usually take medication to restore the chemical balance in their brain and they have quite serious side effects. So, for sure my intention was a simple and doable remedy to feel better. I will skip the benefits of the healthy diet because they are self evident. When it comes to this block, constructive criticism is equally beneficial to well being if taken with open mind.

    2. This is a really excellent point; talking about her ramping up her duties and so on from her PR team is tacit acknowledgement it’s a problem. Which is not usually how the royal family does it — never complain, never explain.

  28. With all due respect, having read comments for days now… 2 things stand out for me about Kate/Dolittle: 1. She has a PR team that lies for her and she’s okay with that including the absurdity of Charlotte’s birth as an engagement: 2. Her numbers this year, no matter the score, had more to do with glamorous fluff than actual shilling for charities.

    So, IMO, let’s not talk about numbers and ‘baby steps’ and talk about character. Character shows what one values most. She values lies, and she values the glam connection. Everything else seems fake to me. She has done little about her pronounced patronages.

    I don’t care about her hair (though I do care about her modesty as a principle). I don’t care much about her wardrobe except it’s fun to dissect the latest offering.

    IMO she is an awful, shallow person, indifferent to the world at large and the people suffering right in front of her face (just like Willy). The quality of her character is a thread running through from girlfriend to now. She won’t change
    unless it is demanded of her. She does *not* care about anything other than her world.

    I think quantifying her behaviour misses the mark. What matters is the quality of her character and the quality of her behaviour, and that is so sorely lacking. There are missteps but there are always patterns/threads of behaviour by which to assess and judge. IMO she brings nothing of worth to the table. IMO there is *nothing* to respect about her; she is as false as the day is long.

    I’m thinking now that maybe now there has been a turn of attitude on this blog that actually stymies someone like me who tries to be largely kind in RL but hates falsity and manipulation. IMO we are being endlessly manipulated by the BRF and W/K’s press. I am not going to swallow any of it. They present themselves as ciphers, and IMO it as ciphers it is best to judge them. I don’t understand why she needs cheerleaders although I do love reading about how she could improve.

    1. + 1000.

      In the spirit of KMR’s original post to shake off an auto-negative response about everything Kate – a truly reflective call – I wondered how Kate could up her performance and give value to her charities and the public at large. But improvement is always predicated on whether the person is (a) reflective of themselves, (b) seeks ways to improve, and (c) actively work towards that goal. I’d like to be optimistic, but what incentive is there for Kate and William to up their respective games?

      If the BRF’s PR team sculpt identities for public consumption, eliminating any dissension of the preferred narrative, why bother to improve? On top of that, sycophants are ten a penny in royal circles. No-one is going to say to Kate, “Look, you come across as vain and lazy, only up for the good times, in-and-out asap for the charities you even bother turning up for. Grow up, get working or get out.”

      MaventheFirst: absolutely right. Quality of character, intentions and behaviour should be the bedrock on which all royals should be evaluated (as opposed to being ‘judged’). Everything else – hair, clothes, extensions, makeup – are just distractions.

    2. I would love to know what Will and Kate’s yearly PR budget is.

      IMO the pr chose the wrong strategy for Kate. After seeing what kind of person she was during the courtship they should have understood better.

      ‘She would hit the ground running.’ The most prepared royal bride in history.’ ‘The most educated bride in the brf.’ ‘Very intelligent, loves to read scientific magazines.’ People would have been interested in her anyway, so why did they have to go overboard. They were putting her for failure from the get go.

      Kate celebrates her 34th birthday soon. She is still after nearly five years at the same level as a young, new bride in the royal family during her first 6 months. Even Sofia, with a less stellar background understands what is expected of her.

      1. Devil’s advocate: maybe the PR team and their advisors actually thought Kate would do what they set her up to do with those lines. Maybe the team was sold a bill of goods by William and Kate only to have them back out.

        1. Could well be the case. The PR folk can’t critique their masters’ performances, just have to go with what’s put on the table.

      2. Some of it is actually true — she really is the most educated future Queen, she really did get a fabulous education. She SHOULD be able to read a scientific magazine. While this certainly was part of the PR strategy, it also was common sense. Especially because she wasn’t part of the aristocracy, there was an understandable perception that she earned her degrees, her education, etc. But she didn’t. She’s just as bad on tbat score as any spoiled aristocrat.

    3. @Maven; To me, KMR is accepting that Kate is going to be Kate whether any of us like it or not, are disappointed that she’s a shill or if Kate all of a sudden throws off whatever–fear, doubt, trying to please Will–Mommy, whatever– and how it negatively affects how she reacts. I personally agree. Since I started blogging here last year, I’ve been one of the hardest on Kate. I got slammed for it last April when many were cheering a Kate fashion choice and I personally had enough with Kate being applauded because she was able to get out of the house and look “pretty.” Is that what the world reduces to? How shallow. But then I saw that Kate is going to have to take minuscule baby steps, and there was some progress. And while I can be extremely hard, I also value personal effort and will defend that growth. That this blog isn’t just to be a Kate-pinata where people in a ticked off mood can come whack at it every day, because no matter what she does, she’s been identified as an undeserving tax-payer dependent useless lump and so all are welcome to whip. I took from KMR that she wants this to be a real critical review, where some people might be seen as cheerleading if Kate does something well or shows true growth. So it’s come down to people accepting New Year’s change. Not a turn of attitude but a focus relying more on mental evaluation than emotional

      1. I’m pretty sure I said this during that dust up last year and I’ll say it again because it’s still true:

        Just because I praise something Kate did does not erase the mistakes she’s made or what she needs to change. Praising Kate once in a while, trying to find some minuscule positives in her, does not turn me into a sycophant. It does not make me a “sugar” just because I say something nice about Kate.

        I know the Internet can be a binary place, but we don’t live in a binary world – one can praise one part of something without loving the whole; likewise one can criticize one part of something without hating the whole.

        Praising one thing does not make one a “sugar” in the same way criticizing one thing does not make one a “hater”.

        1. Agreed. Change isn’t easy, but it often leads to really good things. I think you are on a good track. While some posters are embracing your direction, I’d like to see more just go with the flow and if they feel after a month or two that this blog has become too lovey-dovey, then by all means complain. But let you develop it with an open mind.
          You know what’s really sad? Is that so much in life has to be absolutes. I wrote about this earlier, the winners and losers. I like that this site isn’t going to be all love and fluff, or hate and doom. But it’s like people are light switches; on or off. Get a dimmer switch. It’s reflective of reality, lots of shades good and bad of Kate. Just like all of us.

    4. You are so right about her only caring about her world. And it’s sold to the press as a modernization of the royalty. And yet what has she done? Was “allowed” to keep a relationship with her parents, switch holidays with them, and have her children’s Christmas presents opened Christmas morning. Yet she doesn’t wear pants, barely gives speeches, and never had a job. Some modernization.

      When you look at it like that, it’s absurd.

    5. Maven, very well said. And I totally agree. Too many people cover for her and tell their little tales to make her appear to be more than she is.

  29. I have missed a lot due to the holidays. So I just wanted to come on and wish everyone a Happy New Year! I really appreciate this blog and the commenters. I look forward to the coming year with you all 🙂

  30. Thank you KMR- I really enjoyed this post. I think you’ve got some reasonable and attainable goals for Kate here. I would particularly like to see her visit her patronages more. She has been quite selective with her patronages, this allows her the opportunity to be more involved. I also feel that being really involved with each one is the only justification she can have for having so few at this point, so I would like to see her visit all of them at least once this year.
    On a personal note- wishing you a happy and healthy 2016 KMR. You’ve been open here about your struggles with depression and anxiety, I’ve been there myself and know how difficult it was. Hoping that things turn around for you in the New Year.

    1. I think if she visited each of her patronages three or four times this year I could let some of the other stuff slide. Spending more time with her patronages is probably the most important.

      Thank you very much, DuchessOfNaps (love the name, BTW), and have a great 2016. It is helpful to hear about other people’s struggles because it makes me feel less alone, and isolation is a big part of my depression. So thank you.

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