William, Kate & Harry did their very own #OkToSay video

William, Kate & Harry did their very own #OkToSay video

Well now we know why Kate Middleton was wearing a mic on Wednesday, because she was filming a video with Prince William and Prince Harry. The trio filmed their very own #OkToSay video for Heads Together.

William, Kate, Harry oktosay mental health video
[Kensington Palace @KensingtonRoyal]

In the nearly 7-minute long video, William, Kate, and Harry sit outside KP on a picnic table and have a conversation about why they chose to focus on mental health and create Heads Together. Kate spoke about struggling after George was born, while William spoke about dealing with air ambulance pressures and Harry spoke about not dealing with his mother’s death until recently. I’ve transcribed the conversation in full below, the video is at the end of the post.

    Harry: “Why Heads Together and why mental health?”
    William: “It was your idea, I think.”
    Harry: “It was your idea.”
    Kate: “Because it’s a common thread, wasn’t it, mental health sort of seemed to run between all the different areas we were working in, so whether it’s homelessness, military with yourself, and addiction with me and bereavement. There’s a sort of underlying thread, wasn’t there, of mental health. And this idea that all of us coming together to find a common theme. And to show people how to have those what we’re calling sort of simple conversations, and starting those conversations, which is often the hardest bit really.”
    Harry: “And as you said, it’s like a, almost like a form of medicine.”
    Kate: “Yeah. But it was a young mother actually who said that to me at the Anna Freud Centre, she said actually just talking to somebody, having those conversations, is like medicine for her. And that is the point is that actually it’s okay to have that conversation even if it’s uncomfortable or awkward but it’s just starting it.”
    William: “But the pressures on children nowadays I think are more than they ever were for us as well, I know each generation can say that, but you’ve got so many things to worry about now, whether you’re struggling for exams, whether you’re struggling with home life, struggling with friends, and then you have the social media angle, you can understand why that, coupled with the fact that you don’t get out of the house because you’re staring at the screen the whole time, there’s got to be a lot of issues that are going to build from that if you’re not careful and managed.”
    Harry: “And it’s always sold as if everybody else’s life is perfect, that’s the problem, and therefore you think if everyone else’s life is perfect, there must be something wrong with me. But if you can have a family environment where you can talk openly about your issues, that makes for a better family, better preparation, probably working better at your job, doing better at school, it just goes on and on and on.”
    Kate: “Because you often speak don’t you about the emotional changed that even you’ve gone through and I think a lot of parents hopefully can I suppose identify with that in that you know having a child, particularly your first child, is such a sort of life changing moment, nothing can really prepare you for that. I remember the first few days with little George, you know you have no idea really what you’re doing no matter how many books you read, nothing can prepare you for it.”
    William: “There’s no rule book, there’s no training that teaches you how to do it, you’ve just got to learn from previous generations and hope that you can translate it into what you know what you want to do.”
    Kate: “Do you remember up in Anglesey, so we’d had our couple of weeks of sort of family support and then you were keen to get back to your work and I was like ‘No, I’ll come with you’ so we scooted off back to Anglesey with George. Those first few weeks you know were a steep learning curve massively.”
    William: “When you have children it really does put your own emotions and your own life into perspective and it’s been very very interesting understanding why I get so upset about some things or why some things really affect me. You know I thought I was quite you know fairly sort of straight down the line, but I’m actually quite, I feel quite a lot more than I used to.”
    Kate: “Do you feel that particularly with the work with the air ambulance?”
    William: “Yeah, I feel like I take on a lot of the family cases with me, take them home, which I find quite hard. Luckily we’ve got a good support network at work and just talking about it amongst all of us and being able to you know understand the process and hear good news and bad news but follow some of these cases through to the end is quite important.”
    Kate: “And it’s not just the individual is it, it has such an effect on the rest of the family.”
    Harry: “Precisely, family, friends, anyone that cares about you, so you’ve got that one individual in the middle and then no one, especially with the veteran’s piece as well, all the focus always seems to be on the individual with the injuries. If it’s physical injuries then it’s supposedly easier because you can see those injuries, whereas if it’s hidden wounds then no one can see that but still that person is the focus but the effect that has on them, their family, and their friends is huge, because people care about you.”
    William: “But that’s part of the healing process and it’s part of sharing your problems to half them and to make them better with someone you trust and someone you know is going to help you.”
    Harry: “Both of us have always been open to each other saying you know we’ve never really talked about it, we’ve never really talked about losing a mum at such a young age, and when you speak to other people’s families and little kids and stuff you think, wow you know I don’t want them to have to go through the same things, you want with a little bit of experience you want to help as much as you can and try and empower them to have that conversation to be brave enough for themselves to talk about it at a young age rather than bottling it up for far too long.”
    Kate: “Considering everything that you boys obviously sadly went through, the trauma that you experienced you know I do particularly with the work within early intervention and things like that that I’ve been doing in the early years I do think it’s incredible how strong and how you’ve been able to cope really and I put that down to your really early years and childhood experience. But also the relationship that you’ve got you’re amazingly close and yes you… No but it’s you know and some families sadly aren’t as lucky as you guys have been and being able to share things.”
    William: “But we have been brought closer because of the circumstances as well that’s the thing, you know we are uniquely bonded because of what we’ve been through but you know even Harry and I over the years have not talked enough about our mother you know.”
    Harry: “Never enough.”
    Kate: “Has doing this campaign sort of made you realize that to a certain extent?”
    Harry: “Yeah, I think so. I always thought to myself you know what’s the point in bringing up the past what’s the point in bringing something up that’s only going to make you sad, it ain’t gonna to change it, it ain’t gonna bring her back, and when you start thinking like that it can be really damaging you always said to me you know you’ve got to sit down and think about those memories, but for me it was like I don’t want to think about it.”
    William: “But it’s I think what happened to us and must happen with others as well is you have to prioritize your mental health you have to say to yourself at some point because it’s very easy to run away from it you know to walk away from it and avoid it the whole time you know someone has to take the lead and has to be brave enough to force that conversation.”
    Harry: “This coming Sunday the London Marathon is to some people a year in the making. I mean this is their opportunity to put closure on an issue or this is their opportunity to be part of something amazing and it’s just really exciting for all of us to be a part of it I think. Thirty odd thousand people coming together you know three hundred now seven hundred runners for specifically Heads Together, everybody in the marathon being given a headband, people running for all sorts of different reasons, but as you guys have clearly pointed out over and over again, you can draw one hundred fifty charities that everybody is running for around in a circle and in the middle will be mental health. It’s the one thing that binds everything together.”
    Kate: “And so many of the runners that we’ve met have been so energized haven’t they by others having sort of these conversations around them but also feeling like they’re part of this change, and this sort of progression towards sort of I suppose a more open society really.”
    Harry: “A mental health marathon.”

The pros:

I liked that Harry mentioned that because some people on social media try and convince the world that their lives are perfect, you can look at that and think there must be something wrong with you if your life isn’t perfect. That idea has been said before, but I like that he included it.

This is probably the most open Kate has been about the challenges she faced becoming a mother and why she chose mental health to focus on.

I liked that Harry mentioned how the friends and family are affected when someone has mental health issues. That’s a topic we’ve discussed on here multiple times, so I’m glad they included that in this video.

Kate actually spoke a good amount. Usually she let’s the men speak and barely adds anything, but she spoke a good amount, especially toward the beginning.

I liked that they did this video in general. Their lack of being in one of these videos was something I mentioned before, so I’m glad that they did a video.

The cons:

Kate is inarticulate and lacks confidence. The “wasn’t it”/”wasn’t there”/”sort of”/”you know”/”don’t you” fillers are annoying (Kate used them the most, but William and Harry used them sometimes, too, which was also annoying).

I still have a problem with the whole Heads Together campaign, and while I like that they did this video and that Kate spoke more in depth than she has in the past, what they’ve said here is still surface level, but I won’t rehash all that again right now.

135 thoughts on “William, Kate & Harry did their very own #OkToSay video

    1. Thanks for letting me know – I hadn’t realized they had removed the video. I edited the post to include a different video which plays.

        1. The video gave an error message that said Time Inc had filed a copyright complaint against the video.

          1. I’ve noticed that has happened with a few of their videos over the years–KP seems to be in the habit of not getting prior approval from the copyright holder for background music, etc.

  1. I noticed all her little qualifiers too – she’s clearly not comfortable stating her opinion without leaving wiggle room to agree with the other person if they contradict her. It’s very interesting to me; she’s an older sibling in a supposedly loving, nurturing family. That’s not typically the profile of someone with esteem issues, so where would that come from? Does it only manifest itself around William?

    1. Somehow she always brings topics to herself, her kids or ‘the boys,’ William speaks in the third person and Harry kind of actually makes real conversation. But it all feels contrived. I just can’t get interested in what any of them has to say.

    2. I think that to have an opinion, you have to care and be informed. It makes your presence and words felt. She is mouthing empty phrases so it makes sense that she sounds hesitant. She really hasn’t an opinion because she really doesn’t care.

      1. Exactly Maven, 6 years into the BRF and Kate has not confidence yet, but in this case, Mental Health, is just lack of interest from her part. It looks very forced and as Jen b said before I just can’t get interested in what any of them has to say. I’m with you KMR, I still have problems with this whole campaign. The trio has made so much damage to their image tha many people don’t trust them. The cause is very important but the involvement os the Royals is seen by many people as just PR.

      2. +1
        Phony made up stories. In a conversation about Veterans and working parents, I believe she mention having G – with carol, the move to follow whiny bill after staying with carol the middeltons. … its hard to believe waity chutney had any difficult time from delivering/ feeding G ( considering she was dieting while breastfeeding) had carol, nanny Jessie and Maria – she had time on her hands; follow up baby delivery she made next day high heals appearance – holding the baby in on arm. Bill and kat middelton lacks credibility.

    3. I had a mother with strong opinions who didn’t let her children have their own identities or opinions. I qualify my opinions too just like Kate in this interview. I bet Kate had hell to pay if she showed any individuality growing up that ran contrary to mommy’s plans for us. That is if my suspicions are correct.

      Psychology is finally waking up to how having such a mother is a kind of emotional and psychological abuse.

      Slouching is a part of the after effect of such abuse as is marrying someone who is difficult. As is having your mother way to involved in your adult life. Kate’s mom being a constant presence is a red flag. Even dressing like your mother because mom had a heavy hand over developing your sense of style too. There are so many markers that Kate had a mother like mine.

      Sadly, Kate probably doesn’t see it because she isn’t a drunk living under a bridge and her parents created a successful, stable home. She is in the matrix as I was until I hit forty. It is very hard to see the mental abuse when everything else looks so nice.

      Kind of puts Kate’s assertion that she can’t have mental health problems because she came from a nice home in perspective.

      1. Basically, if Kate’s mom is narcissistic and controlling, she sees her children as extensions of herself and as devices to advance her ambitions. She also uses them as a mirror to validate herself.

        1. I agree and that is extremely destructive to a person, and denies them (if they aren’t strong enough to say you don’t own me, live your own life) the ability to form their personalities.It’s not easy to get out from under when your mother’s goal for you is to corral a prince. Who knows what was said to Kate, I know it wasn’t right if what I read is true. To essentially tell a vulnerable lost young woman that since he’s a prince and titled and all you should let him treat you like dirt under his feet and throw any silly old morals and self respect out of the window. It’s also easy to say that Kate made her own choices which she did, however with no perspective on what she truly wanted/deserved she really was, imo boxed in, thinking Disney and finding the reality is far different and now all but unable to get loose if she wants to. I went too far in saying that Kate was a robot, but I am convinced that she has no idea who she is or what she wants from life. We’re given only one life and for anyone else to try to suck it out for their own purposes is a real root cause of some very serious mental health issues. Very serious. It’s a flat out rip off. Children are individuals and mom’s are simply the house provided for them until they can sustain life on their own. The umbilical cord is cut at birth, that is a permanent separation from anyone else in the entire universe. I wonder if Carole ever gives a thought to that.
          I can’t take head bands and grinning royals seriously when they’re talking of such an issue as mental health, hanging around a picnic table or in a parking lot. (someone said that’s a place they gathered). I think that perhaps the fact that they’re ‘special’ might garner attention, but a whole lot of people aren’t going to be impressed since these are people with wealth and privilege so how could they know about real life. In some pictures lately I’ve seen, or think I’ve seen Kate leaning away from William and towards Harry, has anyone else noticed that or am I just seeing what I expect to see?

          1. “It’s also easy to say that Kate made her own choices which she did, however with no perspective on what she truly wanted/deserved she really was, imo boxed in”

            To some extent we are all boxed in. We also subscribe to the values of our families until we grow up and decide. There is an assumption here that she is a victim and is suffering. I don’t think so. She nailed the prince, is well taken care of (including a massive PR machine to gloss over her vapidness) and loves to have the peons bow down to her. She revels in her princessness and the holy fragrance she spreads by her perfect presence.

            Sometimes venality is the preferred choice.

          2. It’s easy to paint Kate as defenceless against her mother’s drive, but how do you explain Pippa’s similar thirst well into her 30’s? The younger sister is the brighter of the two but has still followed the family formula of leeching onto the wealthy and influential. By all accounts Kate reveled in the privilege attached to William and went after more, never letting go. No victim. As Maven says, sometimes venality is the preferred choice.

      2. How had I never correlated all of those before? My mother was also the same way, in every thing that you mentioned. That slouch pose that you mentioned is actually called the Warrior Pose, in that you are literally creating armor around yourself to keep barbs and insults out. It’s no wonder that she still does it in situations where she inherently feels unsure.

        1. I didn’t realize what happened to me until I was forty. It is very common for this kind of parental abuse to go under the radar especially if like with my family and the Midds everything looks so good on the surface. And society is just catching up to how robbing your kids of their own identity is abusive. When I was a child, only throwing your kid against a wall or beating them with a two by four was considered abuse. Just like the only kind of bullying that counted was physical bullying like threatening someone if they don’t hand over their lunch money. It wasn’t until recently that social bullying has come into mainstream consciousness as just as destructive to victims.

      3. Great explanation! I felt similar like you.
        You don’t want to lose your mother’s love if you behave not the way she likes. It is in a way abusive and I think that’s exactly the case here. In my opinion, her mother had some complexes being poor, being not important(in her opinion) and she, even if she
        loves her children,used them to achieve another life.Imagine her children would have had the strengh to break out. But would life be better than? Carole gave her children everything they could dream of, so it would hard for them to say no and earning their own money.

        1. I agree. With mom paying for a nice apartment, luxury vacations, and funding their lives so they only need very, very part time jobs, it would be hard for the Middleton kids or any other kid in that situation to lift the fog and say no.

    4. I have not watched the video, so many thanks for printing the transcript. Kate just does not speak clearly, or effectively, I think. It’s a bit of this, a bit of that and all the qualifiers. Hard to focus on her. At least for me. Allison, you brought up a great point about her self-esteem issues. Do they manifest themselves only around William? I wonder. I think her mother did a lot of damage to Kate. Probably to the other kids, too, but they may have stronger personalities and were able to cope better.

      Ok, back to the video. So they have summarized the same old message in a more “personal” format, but I must be getting more and more jaded as life goes on. I just am not too impressed. Yes, I am giving them credit for talking and yes, I guess many will find hope from this. I am just not too pleased with it all. Found it hard to sit and read it through and then, had to read it again, because, I found myself saying, “What?” They need help expressing themselves verbally. Often a great deal of mumble jumble, imo.

      As for bringing social media into the mix and Harry saying that people think they have bad lives if they measure things by other people’s lives, I was torn. Hasn’t that always been said when it comes to every part of the media? At the holiday season, all that is shown on tv and in print are the wonderful celebrations others are having. That makes people feel as if they are out of the tempo, if their own lives face struggles. What difference does it make if it is social media, or any aspect of the media? I wish he had not just singled out social media. I guess many people are more into social media than me and most of my friends/family, so I could be missing something here. I just did not find this point so much of a home run in regard to the campaign.

      At any rate, my appreciation for printing the transcript and I’m eager to scroll down and read other comments.

      1. I think it’s interesting that Harry alluded to so-called perfect lives being promoted on social media considering his girlfriend is also known for her lifestyle blog.

  2. I’ll give them a round of applause. This is a start. I think HT was thrown together without the right support. I think it’s getting closer to the core. It nice to hear her speak. Have confidence, Kate!

    Thanks for the transcript, KMR!

    1. I want to applaud this, but why did they wait so long to do this video? This would have been a great way to launch the campaign. Instead it comes out a year later, for no discernible reason. The video is okay, but little of substance was said.

      1. It is obvious now that it was orchestrated. Imagine spilling your feelings on cue? Because that’s what they’re doing. They trust their PR. Which makes this all artifice.

  3. I found Harry the most relatable and honest, though it’s so, so scripted it just breathes inauthentic to me.

    I found some tidbits from Kate interesting. How she wanted to go with him to Anglesey, yes, let’s go, which hints to me the truth of the rumors and talk how they live mostly separate lives, as if it was suggested she would stay with Mummy as she does (as we know) versus going to Wales with William. (“Little George” was weird.)

    It’s nice to hear more from Kate, though she is so inarticulate and sounds so much younger than 35 to me in the way she speaks. As if she hasn’t grown past 18-19 when she met William, and the same for him, honestly. Though Kate’s fake marbles-in-the-mouth accent has a lot to do with it.

    I found it condescending she used “you boys,” they’re grown men! She infantalizes herself, so does the same with W & H?

    Harry made great points about social media and how it’s all a big lie, and how your mental health and situation affect everyone around you and it’s good to not only help the person who is struggling but the family as well to give them resources to help instead of do what, for example, my family did which was totally block me from their lives until they felt like dealing with me. That’s such a damaging thing and I’ve heard of it happening to many people. And for people who just want to help but don’t know how to. It affects everyone.

    I hope they don’t drop this now that the marathon is happening and they continue it and support these charities so they can get the funds they essentially need to help people. THAT is my concern. It is a PR exercise, while nice and good to talk about awareness and talking about your mental health like we do physical health and the stigma stuff, I want the CHARITIES to get benefits not just W&K&H.

    1. I find it so hard to follow her. She trails off and often makes no sense. Yet wants validation in what she says. It’s as if she is concentrating on the accent and find the right words.

      I agree that they need to keep this conversation going. However, it will most likely be Harry become WK have no follow through.

      I’m sorry you had that experience with yoiur family. I’ve lived with depression for years. I found that the best support was not my family, who live the mantra of “If I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist”. But the people who show up. I’ve had people just be there. Not the sense of “Call me if you need something”. But the ones who physically show up and encourage you to talk or simply be still.

      I am looking forward to the day when there is a better understanding and support of mental health.

      1. I’m sorry for all who suffer depression. Rhiannon, you said a great thing The people who actually show up do make such a difference! People can say,and probably mean, “if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask,” but when a person actually does show up to offer support, or help, it says everything and helps so much.

        I forgot to add in my first post, that I liked the fact that Kate credited the woman she met who said talking about her problems was like medicine. Shows she actually does hear what some people say.

      2. I agree, Rhiannon. KM speaks in halting phrases because she is waiting for the validating “uhum,” “yes,” “you’re so right.” I also find that Harry giving her props for being the brainchild behind the creation of HT completely unbelievable.

        Also, what everyone else said about this campaign turning into a dueling display of them discussing (more specifically W&KM) their every day emotions as though they understand mental health and mental health pathology. A great big ugh. They are truly out of their league with this issue.

    2. Kate: “Do you remember up in Anglesey, so we’d had our couple of weeks of sort of family support and then you were keen to get back to your work and I was like ‘No, I’ll come with you’ so we scooted off back to Anglesey with George. Those first few weeks you know were a steep learning curve massively.”

      Ellie, her comment was a big pile of Revisionist History.

      She and her mother followed him to Wales after the big complaints about the security costs at Chez Middleton, and apparently after he’d already gone back to work. Then we got the story (from a royal mouthpiece reporter?), that KM and Carole had “seen a rat in the farmhouse” and ran back to Bucklebury. For an undetermined amount of time. It was 8-10 months later that KM let it slip during the engagement in AU/NZ about how he wasn’t around much for the first 6 months.

      Having seen the interiors, nobody is buying the rat story.

      Too many people put those pieces together, so now we’re getting revisionist history. A lot of this reads like they memorized a script, or memorized the key prompts and didn’t improvise around them well.

      1. I can still see the possibility of truth between the lines there, but I’m endlessly willing to hope for good, so it’s probably for naught.

      2. I thought so. This is exactly what I thought when I heard Kate say that.

        They can’t even keep the BS straight, though, look at the engagement interview, lol.

        Thanks for all the evidence that, welp, she had her mum, the nanny, and didn’t they have a night nurse and such come to Bucklebury too? Yeah. Far from being isolated and alone, I doubt Kate even changed diapers, just started working out ASAP.

        1. Did she say that she was isolated and alone, or felt isolated and alone. Because one can feel isolated and alone even if one is surrounded by people.

          1. From what I can find, technically she didn’t say she felt any of those things personally, did she? The quotes I’m finding use the word “you”.

            “It is lonely at times and you do feel quite isolated, but actually so many other mothers are going through exactly what you are going through.”

            She didn’t say “I felt lonely” or “I felt isolated” or “what I was going through”. What she said could have been a generic statement about what some people might feel. Whether she felt those things or not, she didn’t make it personal, but kept it formal and separate from herself.

            Harry didn’t say “one would feel angry” or “you feel anger” etc., he personalized it by saying “I”. “I just couldn’t put my finger on it. I just didn’t know what was wrong with me.” – Prince Harry

  4. Royalty is becoming much more mainstream to the point of overexposure. I am not saying its bad to be in touch of the people, but royalty is supposed to have mystique and aura about them that makes it seem like they are not ordinary. The Queen has it, Diana had it. I really do fear once The Queen passes the monarchy will slowly die 🙁

    1. This the future of any European monarchy; royals can no longer be detached and Diana was truly the first celebrity royal who was overexposed (imo). This is the only way they can survive; by opening up the public. If they maintain a good balance they’ll be a lot less cynicism from apathetic people.

      1. Jessica, I do not think Diana was overexposed. She revealed a bit much in that interview, but other than that she had a mystique princess aura about herself. Like Lovely Blossom said below, speak through actions not words and you can still have that mystique.

    2. Of course it’s strange that they speak so openly.
      For me, I like it when royals speak through actions, believe in what they do and have strength.

  5. I also like that they made this video especially for Kate as this is obviously a turning point for her and a step in the right direction. She really needs to speak up more and not just speeches, but give quotes and talking points to get rid of this lacking in substance image she has.
    I’m still clueless about this campaign too. We still don’t really know the vision, mission and goal of HT. If this continues beyond the London Marathon and we see more of what they’re up to perhaps we’ll be less skeptical about this.

  6. I don’t see what this video does to actually help people with mental health issues. It’s basically three over privileged people talking about how they came up with this great idea and filming it. I can’t see how someone in the depths of a crisis is going to want to even watch this.

    Plus there is a lot of awkwardness in the video so how many will even watch it all the way through. Compare this to the Bell Let’s Talk campaign in Canada and you see the difference. The spokespeople for that campaign all talk about their own mental health struggles, which includes Olympic athletes and actors. And they do it in short bursts on television and it gets promoted on all networks. Only Harry admitted to getting help. If the other two don’t do that, then they aren’t relatable for the vulnerable people looking for help. Making people feel like they are not alone in their struggles is how to connect the campaign to people. Standing from afar, pretending that these issues relate to how you were raised is utterly wrong.

    This campaign will never work unless they admit they have struggled too. If they aren’t willing to do that, then find another cause. You only destigmatize mental illness by acknowledging that everyone has to deal with it. Even Kate and Will.

    The video is pointless. How many non royal watchers are even going to click on that video? My concerns about this campaign remain.

    1. I disagree with this:

      “This campaign will never work unless they admit they have struggled too. If they aren’t willing to do that, then find another cause. You only destigmatize mental illness by acknowledging that everyone has to deal with it. Even Kate and Will.”

      Crown Princess Mary has done extensive work on domestic violence (specifically violence against women and children) and female genital mutilation. She’s also advocated against female inequality and for LGBT rights. CP Mary has never been a victim of any of that by her words and has done great advocacy work for it. Domestic violence is a community issue that needs to be destimagtized but not everyone has dealt with it. I can only imagine if she had the high visibility of Catherine what she could do for eliminating DV and FGM.

      And not necessarily everyone has suffered from mental illness; everyone have bouts of sadness of course but that doesn’t equate to mental illness. As someone who suffers from severe (and diagnosed) depression, anxiety, mood swings, etc. I don’t believe my sister has ever struggled with mental illness but of course has been sad, angry, frustrated, etc.

      1. As someone who has been diagnosed multiple times throughout my life with clinical depression, one of the most annoying things for me is when someone I’m talking to about my depression says that they’ve also been sad and angry and frustrated in their life, like when their boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with them (this is the most common one I hear), because I’m just like, that’s clearly not the same thing, dude. Just because you are depressed about something doesn’t mean you suffer from Depression. Yes, everyone has ups and downs and gets sad and angry and frustrated and stressed, but that’s not necessarily any sort of mental illness.

        1. KMR, it’s hard for bystanders or for people who suffer under depression to recognize if they actually have this deep depression?
          That would be my question, when do you know that you have a “real” depression and not just being down? Or can just a doctor make such a diagnosis?

          1. I was diagnosed with severe depression by three different doctors.

            I definitely think that it is individual to the person to know whether they are depressed or not, and many people suffering with depression are never diagnosed or suffer for years before being diagnosed (I suffered from depression for about 5 years before I was diagnosed). I know what depression means for me; I cannot speak for anyone else.

            But my comment above was more about the people who you, as a person suffering with depression, turn to to “start a conversation” who dismiss you’re thoughts by telling you that they’ve totally been depressed, too. The people who equate your suicidal thoughts with their feeling sad that their boyfriend or girlfriend dumped them. You turned to this person for help and they in essence just dismissed you by making the conversation all about them. If they want to come to me and discuss their thoughts and emotions, then I’ll listen to them (and I have, since I’m thinking about specific people here). But when I’m turning to someone for help and they dismiss my suicidal thoughts by telling me that their boyfriend or girlfriend dumped them, yeah that’s annoying.

            Just because my depression may be more severe than someone else’s doesn’t make theirs less real to them (or vice versa), that’s not what I’m saying at all. It’s just that in that instance when you’re trying to talk to someone about your situation, it’s annoying when they make it all about them.

            Conversely, when someone comes to me to talk about their mental health issues, I just listen to them, I don’t start talking about my problems because that’s not the point of that conversation. That conversation is about them and their problems.

          2. There is diagnostic criteria used to diagnose Major Depressive Disorder that is outlined in DSM V (the document that outlined diagnostic criteria for all psychiatric disorders). The criteria is basically as follows:

            “To qualify for major depressive disorder you need to have been experiencing your symptoms almost every day for at least two weeks, and they are more intense than the normal fluctuations in mood that all of us experience in our daily lives. It’s not enough to experience just one of the symptoms from category A over the two week period; you need to have at least five of them to qualify, and one of these five has to be either depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure in activities.

            A. 1. Depressed mood most of the day, almost every day, indicated by your own subjective report or by the report of others. This mood might be characterized by sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness.
            2. Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all or almost all activities most of the day nearly every day.
            3. Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain.
            4. Inability to sleep or oversleeping nearly every day.
            5. Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day.
            6. Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.
            7. Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day.
            8. Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day.
            9. Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide.

            B. Symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning

            C. The episode is not due to the effects of a substance or to a medical condition

            D. The occurrence is not better explained by schizoaffective disorder, schizophrenia, schizophreniform disorder, delusional disorder, or other specified and unspecified schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorders

            E. There has never been a manic episode or a hypomanic episode.”

            Generally speaking after the diagnosis is made, the conversation turns to treatment options which include therapy/counseling, medication, or medication + therapy. The medication + counseling has shown in studies to be the most effective in treating Major Depressive Disorder. The biggest problem is that it is extremely hard for people to 1) find a therapist and 2) be able to afford it. So most times they just end up on medication and get no counseling.

          3. So “let’s have this conversation” is actually not the best wording. “I’m here to listen and help you get he help you need”. That is what people battling severe mental health want to hear from people closest to them who *aren’t* clinicians?
            I, like Jessica, have suffered from the daily up and downs, some worse than others. I was shocked when my sister told me she went on medication when her son was 6 months old. The weight of his premature birth and her desire to stay home with him rather than go back to work and how her husband changed so much when the baby came (born again college freshman)was literally crushing her. And I didn’t know it. That scared me. She was in a very bad place for quite some time. The saddest part was how unsupportive our mother was. “You don’t need pills for feeling bad, just prayer”. While prayer is always helpful it was a terrible “conversation” for my sister. Possibly highlights the fact that not everyone understands or empathizes and maybe should also *not* participate in the “conversation”at all.

          4. There’s an amazing book about bipolar disorder by Kay Redfield Jamison called An Unquiet Mind and her description of depression is, for me, spot on:

            “Depression is awful beyond words or sounds or images…it bleeds relationships through suspicion, lack of confidence and self-respect, the inability to enjoy life, to walk or talk or think normally, the exhaustion, the night terrors, the day terrors. There is nothing good to be said for it except that it gives you the experience of how it must be to be old, to be old and sick, to be dying; to be slow of mind; to be lacking in grace, polish and coordination; to be ugly; to have no belief in the possibilities of life, the pleasures of sex, the exquisiteness of music or the ability to make yourself and others laugh.

            “Others imply that they know what it is like to be depressed because they have gone through a divorce, lost a job, or broken up with someone. But these experiences carry with them feelings. Depression, instead, is flat, hollow, and unendurable. It is also tiresome. People cannot abide being around you when you are depressed. They might think that they ought to, and they might even try, but you know and they know that you are tedious beyond belief: you are irritable and paranoid and humorless and lifeless and critical and demanding and no reassurance is ever enough. You’re frightened, and you’re frightening, and you’re ‘not at all like yourself but will be soon,’ but you know you won’t…”

            She goes on from there but that’s the most I could find on GoodReads (can’t find my copy at the moment).

          5. IME, it’s a little bit of both. Nobody goes, “Oh, I am so in a deep depression!” It creeps up on you and I think more.often than not there’s a good bit of denial first. I ended up realizing my real problems when my mother dragged me into a counselor to make them “fix” me because I was such a problem child. I went in kicking and screaming, and came out the same way. The therapist had finally acknowledged and validated my experiences and my feelings – a first in my lifetime. My mother was and still is an abusive alcoholic with Narcissist Personality Disorder. I was 16 at my first diagnosis.

            Next time was at 22 when I was in such a deep postpartum depression that I would sleep all day and didn’t want to have anything to do with my infant son. There was a free mental health screening day one county over, so I went. Depression, bipolar II, generalized anxiety disorder. I spent most of the next 10 years in and out of “episodes” due to the economic climate and lack of access to mental health services for anyone who was uninsurable (way before the ACA).

            Fast forward to 2015 and it comes again. Military spouse with an ever increasingly absent partner and a particularly difficult child. Finally got am autism diagnosis which lead to my own ASD diagnosis with comorbid ADHD in addition to my depression, Bipolar, and anxiety disorder. I don’t feel like I can talk to a lot of people about this. They don’t get it or they compare one pointless fight with their SO to my morbid flashes of driving off the road or accidentally dropping my baby on the ground. Sure, talking can help, but that backlash is what keeps a lot of people from opening up or staying in denial.

      2. But simply talking about someone’s good upbringing is utterly useless which is most of what Kate does here. It’s not helpful at all to people who are suffering. She may not be to blame directly for the poor script and the staginess of that video, but she has zero credibility on this issue right now. Will and Harry barely do either.

        This campaign is still a bunch of platitudes. The only recent thing that had any real effect was Harry admitting that he sought help to deal with his mother’s death. That makes him relatable. The other two are still not relatable on this issue and it is a very important one.

        Since none of them have any medical training or counselling experience regarding mental illness then they need to step aside or personalize the issue.

        Princess Mary may not have been a victim of domestic violence, but she did the other thing I mentioned, actual work in the area and not just videos and photo ops.

        1. CP Mary became a royal in 2004 and started her foundation in 2008 (I believe); she didn’t win her Humanitarian Bambi award until 2014. The Cambridges and Prince Harry need some time; this is still a relatively new initiative and they have a lot more work to do.

          “but she has zero credibility on this issue right now. Will and Harry barely do either.”

          “Since none of them have any medical training or counselling experience regarding mental illness then they need to step aside or personalize the issue.”

          I agree but that takes time and mental illness is very complex even for trained professionals; they are walking a tightrope. If William and Catherine felt like they haven’t suffered from mental illness I don’t think they should lie to personalize it. I definitely expect them to ramp up it over the next few years with them moving to London.

          1. Hi Jessica, I’m glad this campaign is succeeding for you. For me, its falling very flat. I’m prefacing my criticism by stating that I don’t believe that every spokesperson owes the public a blood-letting and a total unveiling of their inner-most thoughts and fears. Further, I don’t believe that all spokesperson’s have to have personal experience with their cause, although I find that the most effective spokespersons often do. Generally if someone takes an interest and becomes involved with a cause, and really learns about it, that is enough.

            The problem for WK is that their campaign is solely focused on encouraging discussion and disclosure of deeply personal issues. And, as far as I can tell, that is all. In fact, William explicitly decried people who do not communicate as cowards. Kate states in her video that she feels talking is medicine.

            Because of the focus of this campaign, which is very different than a campaign against female mutilation, the fact that WK don’t discuss anything of depth or even why this is important to them, their presence as main spokespeople is very discordant.

            I agree with you that WK may not have personally suffered any mental health problems, and I don’t believe that they should make up stories. Obviously, not having suffered depression or another mental health disease does not discount their genuine concern. I would not be surprised, for instance, if William’s experiences with his mother while she was suffering mental health issues wasn’t a reason for his interest in these causes. Mental health is not only important to the individual, but to all those who love them, especially their children. However, William has never actually said that. As far as I can tell, neither he nor his wife have ever actually discussed why this is an important topic to them.

            Because William and Kate and Harry are not experts, and at least WK have consistently proven a lack of interest in research regarding their appearances and information regarding their causes, the only thing left for them to contribute in a campaign designed to get people to talk about personal problems is to actually be open. Their video came off as self-congratulatory and shallow. For instance, I’m not sure what having a steep learning curve with a new baby has to do with mental health. Maybe Kate should advocate for better parenting classes and childcare options? To me this video, at best, feels like a half-hearted response to the criticism that they had not created a video earlier.

          2. eve,

            “I don’t believe that every spokesperson owes the public a blood-letting and a total unveiling of their inner-most thoughts and fears. Further, I don’t believe that all spokesperson’s have to have personal experience with their cause, although I find that the most effective spokespersons often do. ”

            Spot on. It’s about more than a feeling. The people who are most compelling are those who not only have gone through it but are steeped in knowledge from the experience. No, you don’t need to have experienced it yourself but the only way to connect is to have experienced it in the sphere of your loved ones. Who needs a doofus to lead the way?

          3. Where this campaign has landed – conflating serious clinical mental health illness with non-clinical emotions in the normal range – is more indicative of the royals’ level of comfort with MH than the cause itself. W+K limit their experiences to ‘mixed emotions’ and qualifiers about being lonely as a new parent. It’s hardly surprising, given the (a) privacy-obsessed Cambridge’s stand on almost every aspect of their lives, and (b) the concocted aura of superiority, untainted by the everyday that royalty is equated with.

            W+K have a documented history of doing little work these past six years, so when they refer in the video to ‘our work’ in related areas, are these the same areas they have anemically championed so irregularly or just dropped? Is there real work beyond the half hour drive-by? What substance do they offer?

            From my view, W+K+H bring little to the table, are patronising, contrived and suck up all the publicity for themselves. HT is just a vehicle for them. They endlessly parrot a slogan, interspersed with babble. Why are the eight partner charities doing the hard yards not front and centre here at every opportunity? And how much bleeding money has been allocated by the Royal Foundation to them?

        2. Carter, very well described,, your description is spot on.
          My daughter has schizoaffective disorder, a very severe form, as well as being drug resistant. It is a real battle to keep her stable. Everything has been tried. Now the only thing is regular ECT treatments combined with medications. She told me the only peace she has is when she is sedated for that treatment. That made me incredibly sad. Illness attacks her in various ways, but greatly impairs her daily living. It is a constant struggle daily.
          One of the cruelest things I have ever had to witness. 9 years this year since she became ill, 14 years of age she started on this path. At present she is not well, another change in meds hoping this will help improve her quality of life. Before we relocated, living in a rural country town she was ignored and discounted, stigma of “madness” seeing the cruelty of others her peers for example, those she went to school with, was nearly too much for me to bear. Not so where we are now, people are kinder and more accepting of her.
          Unfortunately there is a real stigma, lack of understanding, poor support networks. When you are a full time Carer you have to constantly keep asking for the system to give whatever help is available, the wait is endless, and totally exhausting dealing with these organizations.
          So when William, Kate and Harry are being vocal and bringing attention to this misunderstood and can be the most lonely illness at least they are doing something and it is a start, I would rather see them being proactive than silent, as they gain more experience they will improve. People may see fault in how they say or what they say, but at least they are bringing attention to this. A improvement for the Duchess. Harry well it takes guts to speak from the heart, especially a male, well done. In the last 6 years a lot of time has been wasted, hoping now they can continue this work and maybe even break down some barriers.
          Mental illness is like any illness, it affects the chemicals in the brain. If the affected were walking around with a cast or in a wheelchair, or on crutches etc.. there would be more understanding, compassion and care.

          1. I hope the new meds work out well for your daughter. Virtual hugs to you. You’ve done an amazing job advocating and caring for your daughter all this time.
            I’m frustrated by the campaign and I do hope they get better. I think they need to accept more professional help with crafting their speeches and definitely need to learn more so they can expand the discussion. I just hope they dedicate themselves to this and go the distance.

          2. Sophia, sending you and your daughter the very best of good wishes; let’s hope the new meds take effect. I’m hoping that you, as her carer, are able to access some support for yourself too? Maybe your new community is helping out there? As you say, it must be exhausting having to deal with so many organisations. I hope they are able to offer some respite?

            Like EL, I find the campaign frustrating and share her views on the trio’s job going forward. They need to up-skill a great deal, not talk in platitudes, otherwise they disrespect people like yourself who are giving their lives to assist their loved ones.

          3. Oh, my heart hurts for you and for your daughter. Watching a loved one suffer in mind is so, so difficult. I hope the new hopes come to fruition!

      3. Crown Princess Mary’s work is overrated.
        .She is UN’s advocate is not an impressive thing.That’s just a fancy way of saying that she’s a puppet of the global elite.

        1. Much of the work royals do is overrated. The difficulty is in using their unearned position to do something useful, whether they are personally impacted by X cause or not.

          With Mary, I think we saw some glimpses of the real her when she started working with a campaign against loneliness. There are times in her life that – to me – she appeared isolated.

          It was her choice to move to France to pursue a relationship with Fred. But that move took her to a country where she knew no one, didn’t speak the language, and didn’t have a job. We’re told she worked teaching English, but the name of the school has never cropped up nor have any former students come forward. I doubt whether or not that “teaching” took place during that time.

          Mary saw her boyfriend sometimes, but most of the time she was alone in Paris. She wasn’t hanging out with Fred’s circle, because they were in Denmark. Her father moving to Denmark? That might have been a reaction to Mary feeling lonely even after the wedding.

  7. They all did a very good job..and Kate is coming into her own, and it’s nice to hear that she was acknowledged for coming up with the idea. But we should also acknowledge that this new open, hair down Harry, Kate and William is largely because of Lorraine Heggessey. Since being hired, the speeches have improved, more personal and more focused. Since Lorraine was hired we finally heard why specifically they chose mental health. This past week push for head together was a master class of how you run and promote a foundation from the former chief of BBC1… all credit should go to Lorraine Heggessey …

  8. The thing I don’t understand is Heads Together is supposedly focusing on mental health. Yet, when the royals talk about it, they talk about emotions and how people need to talk about their emotions (such as at the event today at the radio station with Will and Kate). Or like Kate talking about the difficulties of transitioning into motherhood in this video. That is great she shared it, but to me, that is normal life. We all struggle with coping with life transitions (teenage years, living on our own/paying bills, marriage, etc.). The one constant in life is change. Kate dealing with a newborn and being unsure of mothering, since it was her first, is what every mother goes through (no one knows how to be a mother straight away). That isn’t what mental health and the stigma around mental health illness is. That is life. Now, had she talked about post partum depression, that is a mental health illness. I just feel like William and Kate (not sure about Harry) regard mental health as normal life changes and emotions-things everyone deals with. Not the actual conditions that are classified as mental health such as depression, bipolar, OCD, PPD, PSD, etc., things that require professional help. It is confusing because I feel like they are wanting to normalize emotions and the stress of life, which is already normalized, not the actual mental health illness that require professional help. To me, it just shows how off base Heads Together is since it seems to be saying one thing, but Will and Kate are saying another. It honestly seems like they regard mental health issues as being synonymous with emotions and normal life changes. They are missing the mark.

    1. Kate talking about it’s difficult–of course it is.

      How about talk about women with PPD or even depression during pregnancy. I wish I knew that could have happened. It happened to me. And it was the worst experience of my life, because EVERYBODY judges the ever-living hell out of you. It still lingers and my kid is school-aged now. None of his crap about oh, emotions, it’s hard to adjust, no, no, no, how about how women struggle to admit how it IS hard and how hard it truly is, or that it’s not just ‘baby blues’ but a real problem because you just want to act lke it’s all great and perfect like everyone else when you are screaming inside. And nobody understands because it is supposed to be this great thing in your life but you are struggling and not because it is hard, exactly, but because you are in the deepest, darkest place you have ever been in your life and you cannot articulate it because you should be oh so happy and blissful with new mum hormones and stuff.

      When Kate talks like that I just want to shake her because it really does not help the perception of “oh, it’s just hard to adjust, you’ll get over it”.

      1. Most people get stigmatized if they open up and let their true feelings out.I just would wish people wouldn’t have these deep, dark feelings they are hiding.Where does this come from? Normally, you think, that everybody should be happy, you get wel cared of in our society, but when it comes to the true essentials of life, people start to struggle. It’s sad to see that so many people are unhappy or have tendencies to hurt others.

      2. Exactly, there is the normal adjusting to motherhood which people will just get over and then there is PPD, which you won’t just get over. That is the problem with this whole initiative. They make it sound like just talking about it will fix it. But they also are talking about having conversations about normal life, not the things that actually aren’t easy to get over. This video and todays engagement, makes me think that Will and Kate really believe that normal life changes count as mental health illness. In a way, they have made it seem like it is so easy to get over. This video seems more out of touch than supposedly relating to people. Normal transitions in motherhood and adjustments are not the same as PPD.

        1. +1
          You have said exactly what I have been struggling to put in words ever since this whole thing started. Talking doesn’t always help. I have seen close friends suffer from depression. It’s not that simple. I really think it would be more helpful for them to have a round table with professionals where they ask questions like what are the signs of depression? Why is it impossible to “just get over” the depressive feelings? How can I help a friend who is depressed in between dr’s appointments? If people asked why they are involved all they have to say is because it’s important.

      3. Solidarity fist, Ellie.

        I had PPD with my first. I needed some pretty heavy medication for awhile to be able to pull through it. It was the most horrific time of my life. I was terrified that it would happen again for my second, but with counseling and support from midwives and family members, I was able to read signs and steer clear of it. I still had difficulty, but not full blown PPD.

    2. This is a very valid critique; I don’t think William and Catherine have ever suffered from mental illness requiring professional help. Sadness yes, mental illness no. Harry’s experience sounds closer to clinical depression than anything William and Catherine mentioned. I think they are trying to relate but simply can’t.

    3. This. It seems like they are talking about mental health in terms of preventing stresses and emotions turning into depression and anxiety (which then their “start a conversation” narrative would make sense since they are strictly talking about preventative measures rather than treatment), but aren’t actually talking about depression and anxiety. And they sure aren’t talking about any other mental health issue. It seems like William and Kate’s only experience with mental health is fairly normal stresses and emotions. Harry is the only one who kind of dealt with anything more than that. That’s fine if that truly is their only experience with mental health difficulties, but they need to understand that stresses and emotions aren’t necessarily depression or any other mental health issue, and I’m not sure they do.

      1. And that is what scares me is that Will and Kate actually believe that normal life stress/emotions are the same thing as mental health illness. Harry at least dealt with depression so he knows the difference. I don’t think Will and Kate need to have had mental health illness in order to fight for the cause, but they at least need to understand the difference between normal life and mental health illness. It becomes dangerous otherwise. It just makes them seem so out of touch. The preemptive thing would be a great idea, but I honestly think in Will’s mind and Kate’s, they think normal life stress is the equivalent to mental health illness. The more they talk and try to relate, the more removed and out of touch they appear.

    4. “It honestly seems like they regard mental health issues as being synonymous with emotions and normal life changes. They are missing the mark.”

      Yes, yes, yes, and yes. There is no awareness and understanding of the human condition. They are clueless and this is a disaster. People getting on with their lives will start to wonder what’s wrong with them. Ye gods.

    5. Thank you for articulating my problem with the campaign. I think they seriously think that if you talk to your friends about your feelings you won’t have mental illness. Which is so, so wrong. For some people there is an inciting event for their depression, but for many there is not.

      Another thing that has bothered me about this campaign is that I haven’t heard them once talk about going to a doctor to have a conversation. Talking to friends, family, and co-workers is great, but the only conversation you really need to have is with a doctor so you can get formally diagnosed and get treatment.

      1. That is part of what pisses me off about this whole campaign. I have a close friend who I would talk to about things all the time, but when she was experiencing a serious depression, she didn’t just say “oh hey let’s talk about the depression I am going through ” and it wasn’t like I was known to be dismissive of people with mental illness since I had relatives who have experienced issues and was open about that. No instead she ultimately spoke with another friend who we knew has also experience a similar issue and she then got help. Which is my whole point about Will and Kate. They speak from above like it won’t really happen to them and that is not going to help anyone suffering right now. A medical professional really needs to be work on this to provide helpful advice and they all need to do real work and learn about this issue and not just show up an hour every month or so for photo ops. This isn’t a sailing charity, but serious stuff.

      1. I love it. Others on this site have said this, but Kate and William seem to equate regular life difficulties with mental illness, and that is wrong. Yes Kate, becoming a parent is hard, but what does that have to do with mental illness? Nothing! Mental illness is not shyness or related to parenthood, but it is a lot more than anxiety or situational depression.

        1. I saw this article too. Amanda Platell, was told by courtiers after William and Kate’s wedding or just before the event that Kate had worked hard and to be gentle about criticising her. I found myself thinking what work?

  9. At this point of my reading this blog, these are excellent critique discussions. One other time I felt the same way. The true meat of a blog that doesn’t include deplorable negativity that is so unnecessary to get points across. Thank you from one who has also been diagnosed with clinical depression with severe panic disorder.

    1. I hope you have found someone to help you get through the tough times Kat?

      Thank you for sharing something that is very personal.

  10. Oh geez, I couldn’t even get through the transcript. I feel like I just stepped into a reality show with the usual kind of suspects.

    I very much appreciate the super heroic task of transcribing, KMR. I loathe being forced to watch videos for information so this is very welcome and a treat. Thanks!

  11. I’m with the folks who recognized the contrivance. This was scripted with cameras and rehearsed. Kate offers very little. There is nothing profound about noting it is scary the first time you are responsible for your child by yourself. That didn’t last long for her. It’s the only relate-able experience she has to offer. It’s a universal experience, not a mental health talking point. And what is her work with addiction again? What does she do besides “learn more”? I’m not bashing Kate, more than I am just pointing out that her contributions are superficial — she may honestly not have anything to bring to the table. Her conversation in the radio station echoes the same “talk” here – she has bullet points to read off.

    1. +1 – i’m very underwhelmed by this video, this would have been more effective at the start of the campaign to garner some hype for it, 3 days out from the run I feel like they are bombarding the public with their very general and repetitive message – this late in the game I was expecting more tbh.

  12. Well, I do think this is one of the most natural Kate has sounded and looked in a video. Same with the BBC radio interview. She has improved when you look at this compared to some of her previously taped messages for charity.

    I agree with so many of what you have pointed out – that mental health is being lumped together with mental illness. Feeling down or overwhelmed by something that has happened or by a transition in life is vastly different from clinical depression, post partum depression, disorders such as bipolar, etc. Having support from friends and family is great, and learning to be comfortable talking about your emotions is great, but I worry that Will and Kate (and Harry to a lesser extent) see it as the solution.

  13. When Kate speaks it’s a giant word salad. Reading her part of the transcript was making my eyes cross.
    What work does William do with homelessness?
    I get tired to the reference of William’s work with air ambulance taxing on him. He wasn’t there very often and as a copilot with no EMS skills How much exposure was he actually getting? Not to belittle pilots part of the job but I worked at a Hospital that had flight for life, they typically had 2 cc nurses and a cc paramedic (sometimes a dr would go out) they were the ones doing the work while the pilots job was to make sure they got there and returned safely. If he’s such a vital part of the operation how does he have time to make balloon animals or whatever it was for a kid? Just ugh

    1. William did go to a soup kitchen to help out and sleep rough with a protection officer guarding him. When did Kate and William go back to Anglesey? Having George with them and only them was the best thing for the little guy.

    2. We have no idea how often William worked at EAAA, except that he flew insufficient hours to qualify as a pilot. We don’t know where he donated his salary or how much that was; that knowledge would have revealed how many hours he worked.

      As for ‘work’ with homeless people, sleeping out once with his RPO is not work. It’s a gesture for personal PR purposes.

      1. I know but he did sleep out to prove he could do it. I know a school where sixth formers actually spend the night in the cloisters after being sponsored. But there are teachers with them. No where is 100 per cent safe. William did pack supplies for the tsunami victims. That was before Kate.

        1. As you mention, sixth formers and their teachers did this too, as well as countless others over many years and who remain nameless. CEO’s too. My point is that William’s gesture is no more worthy than the above.But he was the one showered with praise; it was PR for him. You can bet that William would have been the safest of all under such conditions, with not only an RPO but other security close by. Everyone else ie children would have to take their chances. In a 35-year life full of privilege there is only fleeting, blink-and-you-miss-it evidence of sacrifice for and interest in others.

          1. It could have been PR. It was on the news after William did it. The trouble is how much they can do due to security. I find William is either doing something or he isn’t. Much of the time he is isolating himself.

  14. I agree with the critiques others have. I’d also like to add that it’s hard to take them seriously when they say it came about because it was a common thread in the work they were doing. What work??? They make it sound like they were hard at work helping people and then realized that all their hard work would yield better results tackling mental health since mental health issues are prevalent in homeless communities and veterans, etc. It’s such a false narrative. It’s like they’re trying to re-write history.

    1. They are trying to re-write history for personal gain ie to set up a false narrative of their relevance to society and justification for being extravagantly paid to support charities on a very occasional basis. There is no ‘work’ as we mere mortals understand it: based on professional knowledge, ongoing, sustained, substantial, actually contributing something tangible.

      Yet, over years we have documented evidence of charities being dumped, briefings not being read, quick-as-you-can half-hour visits and no evidence at all of ‘work’ of any kind done behind the scenes. If people are gullible enough to believe their thoroughly cynical and self-serving tosh, well, there’s not much hope. Plus, I have some magic beans to sell them.

    1. I actually read a while back that Charles actually encouraged them to talk about Diana. I also find it hard to believe that someone who was supposedly get counseling himself wouldn’t ask if his children would need it.
      I guess it depends on who’s pr you believe and maybe the truth is somewhere in between. I do actually feel sorry for Charles tho.

      1. I feel sorry for PoW too. Personally I think they walk all over him because he carried so much guilt about their formative years. He never said no or enforced boundaries because he was trying to make them happy after all they’d been through.

        I wish he’d toughen up and give them, especially William, a good verbal kicking. I hate the way neither will involve themselves in the Princes Trust. That charity should have one of both of them being prepared to take it over when PoW takes to the throne.

        But it does look like SJP and KP are at loggerheads. And the Daily Mail are having a field day this week.

      2. I mean, you can’t not look at Charles or read what he has written about his kids and not think he loves them very much and did his very best to be a good, loving, present parent in his circumstances. Nobody can say that. Diana hated that he was involved as he was, because she felt it infringed on her turf; she wast he same way with the nannies, sure, but with their own father!

        William likes to be catered to, worshiped, and treated like a god. Charles probably just ignores it for the most part. You can see how proud Charles is of Harry, the warmth when they hug and kiss and talk. William carries around so much baggage and I can’t imagine William’s hinting nobody helped them is true; Charles had counseling, there is tons of talk the boys did too and Charles made sure of it, even people who hate him admit he’s a decent parent.

        It bugs me William hinting all this about his father. It’s cruel. But not surprising considering he has had his press people say he doesn’t want to work because his mother wasn’t there for him either! He drags them both through the mud.

    2. Good call, Mrs BBV. That article is PoW’s rebuttal; can’t really blame him for trying to correct some the deliberate imbalance. I think you can expect more churlishness from W+H this year as the 20th anniversary looms.

      William and Harry sounded like odious kids, regardless of Diana’s death, determined even then to thumb their noses at every request made of them. William, don’t forget, was hideous to his mother too. Meanwhile, the rest of the BRF tiptoed around their anger – and still does. So you end up with two middle-aged men who are (still) self-absorbed. What a surprise.

      1. IMO there is far too much tiptoeing around these grown up men-children. I do hope Princess Sparkle has got a backbone and is prepared to take no sh*t because we know Katie Keen is never going to take William to task.

        1. I don’t envy Princess Sparkle. She would not be entering into a marriage of equals and I doubt it could ever become one in that suffocating, outdated family set up. She’s in a tempting position, for sure, but there’s a reason why women turn down offers of marriage from Windsor-Wales men. Kate’s price was pretty clear: status, attention, unbridled wealth. That kind of person is easy to control. Hopefully, Meghan has done her research and made her own conditions very clear. If she and Harry retreat into doing little, it will be very, very disappointing.

        2. Please. You think Harry is going to marry someone who challenges him and calls him out on his crap? He’s going to be like William and marry someone who will put up with his crap in exchange for the good life. There were sooo many articles of Harry and Chelsy fighting due to Harry being immature and sulky. And there were many articles that Harry expected Cressida to be at his beck and call. And those pictures at the wedding it looked like Harry was pouting and throwing a tantrum while Meghan was trying to console him. I know people like to think Harry will marry an equal of sorts, but he’s cut from the same cloth as Will.

          1. As always because Harry has the likeability factor I always hope for the best with him. William, I have all but given up. I certainly think Harry’s marriage could be more a marriage of equal minded and spirited souls…..or has more chance of being one. The other marriage, as we know, is anything other than equal.

          2. By many accounts, Willem-Alexander was a petulant, temper-tantrum throwing manchild who loved his drink a little too much (Prince Pils). He chose someone who didn’t let him get away with it.

            Philippe was a closed-off, unemotional man who fled his parents chaos for his aunt and uncle. He married a strong woman who helped him open up, relax, and gain confidence.

            Your partner-of-choice’s job isn’t to change you. But if you choose the right partner, both of you become better people as a result of the relationship.

          3. It depends on what Meghan wants and is prepared to give up eg freedom of expression. Subservience to her spouse (because prince) dressed as duty and tradition is a given, sadly. Just recalling a sulky Harry on the Jamaican beach being soothed by his partner in mummy mode was a real turn off. What independent, bright woman would be attracted to that?!

          4. I’d like to think that Mr BBV and I didn’t go into marriage to change each other but the fact that we improve each other is a tacit bonus.

            I know what you mean given the evidence of those photos in Jamaica. I’m not Megan’s biggest fan, given what I think are her less agreeable characteristics but she might well turn out to be the making of Harry Windsor. She’s tenacious, tough and pushy and I think that once the ring is firmly in place those characteristics might just reassert themselves and be what Harry needs from a partner. He’s not had it from anywhere else and I hope she’s stillcapable of it because I still have some hope for him.

          5. Harry thrived when he had a structured life in the military. Now he seems rudderless. Marriage would change his status and create a life separate from his bro, finally. Having a family would also provide structure and a reason for being. Because he’s so likeable
            I’m waiting to see what marriage does to him before a final assessment.

            But if he marries someone like Kate, or someone who kowtows to him, it’s game over.

          6. NOTA are you replying to me with that last comment above?

            I thought we were on the same page about what marriage could achieve.

            I’m not sure if you referring to the pap stroll photos in London or the Jamaica photos? I know we disagree on the Pap stroll photos in Kensington but I don’t know what your postition is re. Jamaica? To be honest I’m not even sure what my position is.

            As for Meghan being a tough cookie I thought everyone agreed she was no simpering wallflower like Kate and had more backbone, that we can assess so far anyway?

          7. Great point Maven. Harry really is at this best with structure. Ruddlerless he’s own worst nightmare. One of my most favourite things about Harry is that when he screws up, he holds his hands up and doesn’t blame others. Sort of suggests there is a conscience there to be worked with.

    3. That article made me really feel bad for Charles. Now I realize it is KP’s PR vs Clarence House PR and the real story is somewhere in between, but still. I get the sense that Charles, and the rest of the BRF, never set boundaries and disciplined William and Harry. If my parents asked me to take family pictures as a teen, and I answered with expletives and turning up my music even louder I would have gotten a slap across the face and put in my place so quickly!!!! That behavior would never have been tolerated by my parents, and I will never tolerate that behavior in my own daughter as well. It makes so much sense now why William and Harry act the way they do. But Charles could start the discipline now. He holds the purse strings. He needs to sit his overgrown, spolit, man-children down and tell them that effective immediately they get no more money unless they step up and shut up. They’d change their tune real quick. Neither would last long on Diana’s inheritance alone, especially William.

      Also does anyone think it’s super dysfunctional that it seems as though the BRF communicate with each other through the media?

      1. Couldn’t agree more. Money is the only card Charles has to play; it’s time to play it. The man-children might threaten to walk but they’re addicted to the good life themselves. They’re not going anywhere. I would have been slapped into tomorrow had I behaved so insolently as a child. But it does reveal a patetrn of behaviour doesn’t it.

        Chinks in the Harry facade have been appearing more often now that he is in a serious relationship. If I were Meghan, I’d have myself a good time with Harry – and run! However, being in touching distance to the BRF, one of the world’s most glamorous institutions you’ve read about all your life, might be too tempting to resist.

        Yes, it is very dysfunctional for the BRF to air their problematic relationships in the public domain. Who on earth would volunteer to be part of that!

  15. Jen and EL,
    Thank you for your kind thoughts and good wishes, your kindness warms my heart.
    EL, yes the professional help with speeches would be a very positive step. Do you not think that maybe the Duchess has been having some assistance here as I thought she was a lot better this time than previous occasions. That would not be my forte! I would be hopeless. I admire there effort. Also agree with you about educating themselves more, but I think that will come with time.
    Jen, yes the new community has a support network which I access so that has been very helpful. Respite no, but that is okay, as long as I can keep her head above water so to speak I am happy.
    We have integrated into the community via the Red Cross, as volunteers. Which has been very good for both of us. When my daughter is well enough we get out, it is most rewarding and is doing her more good than any tablet! As well as seeing people who are less fortunate, it is a very humbling experience for both of us.
    Jen I hope your family and yourself are well. I do love to read your comments, you always hit the nail on the head! Best wishes to you.

    1. Hi Sophia, and thank you for your compliments, though they pale into comparison with the magnificent heart and character you display in the care of your daughter.

      I looked up schizoaffective disorder after you mentioned it. So pleased the Red Cross is supporting you – and you and your daughter them! Yep, it’s good to get out and engage with the world, no matter how modest that engagement. Just a walk in the park is healing. Hope I’m not telling you how to suck eggs – and my apologies if so – but if it’s of any use, I noticed sane had an online forum for carers, monitored 24/7:
      And also mind:
      Go well, both of you.

      1. Oh thank you that is wonderful, I will have a look tonight the sane forum I have heard of but never really have had the time to look.
        Have not heard of mindaustralia, this will be very interesting, thank you again
        Take care Jen

      1. Jen,
        Thank you for thinking of my daughter and I. I have not seen this site before; It is excellent. I have just read this story “The World I Live in as Someone With Schizoaffective Disorder” It is so true to form. There are many more facets for me to research but will do this in my down time later. I am hoping later I will be able to read this particular article, to my daughter later as it really pertains to her. I will tell her Jen where this come from I know she will be very appreciative as I am.
        Take care Jen

        1. Hi Sophia, so glad you got it! But actually, it was Kimothy posting about her transplant article and giving us the link to The Mighty, so all thanks to her! Because you mentioned your daughter’s condition, it leapt out as I was perusing the site. So glad it’s of use; always good to be armed with knowledge. Best to you both.

  16. “I do think it’s incredible how strong and how you’ve been able to cope really and I put that down to your really early years and childhood experience. But also the relationship that you’ve got you’re amazingly close and yes you… No but it’s you know and some families sadly aren’t as lucky as you guys have been and being able to share things.” ”

    What Kate says here is SUCH a dig at Prince Charles, she puts emphasis on EARLY years when she is speaking and there is no mention of support from the living parent. Obviously this is what she has been told. . I have no idea how supportive PC was but this does highlight that all is definitely not well and happy between father and son.

    I thought Kate came across well in this, not stilted for the first time. But she needs to step away from the botox, it’s making her face move in a weird way not noticeable in photos. And the mumbling by all three is very irritating. Shocking considering their education. .

    1. Apart from the obvious dig, as you point out, which both sons would have sanctioned, what stands outs, you know… sort of, you… um, is a complete inability for Kate to be articulate. Now that is shocking. All three suffer from not being able to string a sentence together in a coherent manner. So much for their posh education.

    2. Again she’s going with the theme that if you have a happy childhood with the right number of parents who loved you enough, you won’t have mental health challenges?

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