Prince William & Kate Middleton visit Child Bereavement UK

Prince William & Kate Middleton visit Child Bereavement UK

Prince William and Kate Middleton visited Child Bereavement UK yesterday, January 11. This was Kate’s second engagement of the day – she first visited Anna Freud Centre.

Child Bereavement UK supports families and educates professionals when a baby or child of any age dies or is dying, or when a child is facing bereavement. They train more than 8000 professionals every year to help them better understand and meet the needs of grieving families.

William has been Royal Patron of Child Bereavement UK since 2009.

William and Kate were at the Child Bereavement UK center in Stratford, London to mark the one year anniversary of its opening. To begin their engagement, William and Kate met professionals and volunteers who work with families at the center.

The royal couple then joined a “Memory Jar” activity in a Support Group session where children make memory jars for people they’ve lost. During the Memory Jar activity, William spoke about losing his mother, Princess Diana, when he was 15.

To 12-year-old Shinobi Irons, who filled two jars representing memories of his late grandmother and godmother, William said, according to Irons’ mother Lorna: “He told my son that when his mum died he was 15 at the time and he was very angry and found it very difficult to talk about it. It was very personal and it was very special.”

William then spoke to 9-year-old Aoife, who lost her father, saying: “Do you know what happened to me? You know I lost my mummy when I was very young too. I was 15 and my brother was 12. So we lost our mummy when we were young as well. Do you speak about your daddy? It’s very important to talk about it, very, very important.”

Aoife’s mother said afterward: “I couldn’t believe it when he started to talk about his mother. It was very emotional and I was willing myself not to start to cry. I almost did. I am telling my children that if they take anything away from this day, it is what he said about how important it is to talk. Kids do not forget that. Sometimes it hurts but we can remember the happy things too. It is so important to talk.”

[Quotes from the Express]

I find it interesting that William admitted he was angry after his mother died, and I would love it if he elaborated on that. I think that tends to happen more than people talk about, and I think it would be a good thing for someone to openly admit the anger one feels when one experiences the death of a loved one.

I would like to know the set up for the “Do you know what happened to me” question, because it seems out of the blue and a bit self-centered when taken out of context like it is.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge then cut the cake to mark the anniversary.

William and Kate cut cake at Child Bereavement UK Jan 2017 s
[Kensington Palace @KensingtonRoyal]

William was going to cut the cake solo, with Kate hovering in the background, until he called for her to help him. Then someone joked that it was just like their wedding cake. When William pushed the knife down, he went, “Weeee”, which is something I do all the time for random stuff so that’s actually rather endearing to me that he did that.

Kate wore the same outfit she wore to the Anna Freud Centre: new Eponine London dress coat; repeated Cartier watch, Sapphire and Diamond Earrings, Stuart Weitzman “Muse” clutch, and Rupert Sanderson “Malory” pumps.

Judging by the tweets, they were there for about an hour and a half – again, tweets are not a wholly accurate way to tell the time spent some place, but it’s a rough estimate.

Here is a video of the receiving line when they arrived.

And here is a video of William talking to people during the Memory Jar activity.

183 thoughts on “Prince William & Kate Middleton visit Child Bereavement UK

  1. Still sad that he and his brother lost their mother at such a young age in front of the whole world. But it got me thinking, why does her death still affect William to this day and not so much with Harry? I would think as the younger brother Harry would be much more affected even today.

    1. Oh, I’m sure it affects them both but differently. Different personalities. They experienced the same tragedy, but obviously their own personal journey through grief and acceptance is going to vary widely.

      1. +1 jenni. I definitely agree. My boyfriend and I lost our daughter 4 years ago and we definitely responded differently. I am more vocal about her short life while he is more reserved. I do think it’s wonderful these organizations exist. Similar ones here at home definitely helped me through it all.

        As for Will sharing he felt anger, I definitely understand that and wish he was a bit more detailed. I definitely had a lot of anger and guilt after my daughter’s death and sometimes still do although time has passes.

        1. I, too, felt a lot of anger after my grandfather died. And I had to bottle it up because everyone expected something else. So I would have loved for William to elaborate on the anger he felt.

          1. Definitely yes we all grieve so differently. I had to enter to long term therapy. As private people as the Royals tend to be I am surprised that William expressed even that much. It does help others if you can understand to some extent what they might be going through via some kind of personal experience. We can never know fully as each individual has their own unique experience.

          1. Miley, please accept my sympathy, too. The loss of a child must be overwhelmingly hard to endure. I hope your memories of your child will always be in your heart. Her short life will always be treasured by you and her father, I am sure. Everyone else who loved her, too.

          2. Thank you so much, jenny and JET. Time certainly helps with healing and her little brother as well, and we still treasure her memory in different ways every day. Thanks again.

        2. There isn’t anything, I feel, that compares to the death of a child. We nearly lost Chloe’ when she was 3 to septicemia, and I still hover over her and my other 3. I’m so, so, so, so sorry for your loss.

          I recently married my boyfriend of 8 years. He helped me through the death of my military husband. We just decided at the spur of the moment to get married. Then he sent me to New York for New Year’s eve because he had to work and he was killed the next day.

          I am so mad I feel like breaking everything around me. So my public service announcement today is to please slow down in road construction zones. Those are real people who have real lives and real families.

          Anyways I didn’t meant to hijack your grief because I never would have made it had it been one of my children.

          1. Thank you SpringsMom. I also am sorry for your loss. It’s always hard losing one whether it be a child, parent, or partner. It’s definitely important to be able to be open and discuss our loved ones & sometimes even the tragedy or illness that stole them away bc I feel like they are still with us through our actions and words. Thank you for sharing, I wish you the best.

          2. If I read your comment correctly, you’ve lost 2 husbands. How awful! Did your 2nd husband get killed just this 1/1/17? I’m so sorry for your losses. I always slow down in construction zones. My husband is a policeman, so he has really impressed on me the importance of moving over, if possible, and slowing down, for construction or for first responders. Policemen get hit by vehicles quite often.

        3. I am so sorry to hear about your loss Miley. I lost my grandfather, who I was very close to, some 20 years ago now…but his passing still impacts me to this day. His life and the person that he was has left a permanent mark…I believe that because a way for a person to stay alive even beyond death, is to be loved and remembered by those that they have left behind here.

        4. How tragic, Miley. I’m so sorry about your and your boyfriend’s loss of your beautiful daughter. My husband and I do not have children, so we don’t understand the depth of the loss. But my husband (policeman) rendered aid to a 4-year-old accident victim, who later died, and he thinks about her often because the accident scene is on the way to/from our house. He never passes by without remembering her, and she was a complete stranger.

        5. I’m so sorry you lost your little love. Losing my dad was so, so hard. I can only imagine how much more difficult it would be to lose a child. But I’m glad you’re finding your way through.

      2. You know, how cannot a mother’s death affect her children? But here we are *twenty years* later talking about it while in the real, normal world no one would be except perhaps with confidantes..

    2. I think Harry has spoken much more openly about Diana than William, and he led the 10th anniversary tribute to her.

    3. I think it may have something to do with Charles. William has never been close to his father so he may have felt alone in that time and he could understand better than Harry what his mother was going through. Besisdes the Windsor seem to believe that you deal with lost just by stiffing the upper lip and not with proper counseling. That’ my take on it at least.

      1. Where do you get the idea that Willy was never close to his father? And FYI, yes, the kiddies did get counselling after Diana died. And were protected and taken care of. By Charles.

        1. That’s exactly as I understood it. I believe PoW positively encourage Julia Samuel to be of help to the boys, hence her continued presence in their lives. The RF is very fond of psychology in its various forms. PoW especially.

          1. I think the ‘uncaring of psychological problems of it’s family members’ is a residue of Diana’s public lies on that front.

            They gave her help too. She turned them down. She was the sort of person who turned down any help or advice if it didn’t align with her way of thinking and then turn around and claim that no help was given or forthcoming.

            Unfortunately for yhe royals, her version of events was believed and it has stuck in the public conscious.

          2. Herazeus, that’s interesting. I’ve only ever heard of how awesome Diana was. I’d really like to know more about her if you don’t mind sharing.

          3. Miss K…..IMHO Diana was amazing but the narrative that she was good and PoW was bad is just convenient sound bites, sales driven, sloppy journalism. It’s so much more complex than that on so many levels.

            She was loved and adored by many it’s true but she was a mixed up minx too and the mistake in people’s thinking is that just because the public idolised Diana they didn’t like or appreciate PoW. We could love both.

            Her attributes and strengths were more visibly obvious but PoW is a good, decent, honourable man who’s own life had become impossible too. He doesn’t feel pride that he was jealous of her, couldn’t help her and eventually couldn’t cope with her. He was suffering from clinical depression himself and his relationship with Camilla probably saved his sanity.

            It really was an impossible situation made further impossible by two needy people draining the reserves out of each other in a situation made far more complex by the media attention which no one had seen the likes of when Diana was alive. The pressure, the scrutiny, the gossip and in the mix stirring staff and friends who exploited weakness of their principles who were both insecure and struggling to cope with themselves as well as each other.

            Each thought the other would ‘save’ them but was only interested in being saved. It really was the most tragic relationship of two people who only knew how to take and not give.

            But I really would urge you to try and not accept the popular narratives of good Diana & bad Charles. They were both good and they were both bad. There’s her story, his story and somewhere in the middle there lies the truth.

    4. I’m certain it affects them both and always will – they just deal with it differently. I don’t think you ever really get over the death of a loved one. You just get better at coping with loss over time.

  2. William and Kate both need to learn to articulate themselves better.
    I think the “do you know what happened to me” comment was William’s way of not wanting to assume the girl knew who he was. It would’ve been better with ” I don’t know if you know, but I lost my mum”
    I too, like the weee cake comment. Would like to know if they ate some.
    I think anger is a natural part of the grieving process but I think william turned a lot of that anger torwards the press in an almost unhealthy way
    Did Kate speak at this event?

    1. So very well put Sarah, sometimes it reminds me of the little boy coming out in Prince William, be it he is a man, and father, but I might be wrong.
      A very worthy organization it would be terrific to see the Duke and Duchess do more of this sort of support. By appearing at the center it would make such a difference to morale and show interest and care.

    2. Totally agree Sarah. William must think that everybody knows him. I can say that many people doesn’t know who he is. I talked to some people here in my country and from other countries about the “Duchess of Cambridge” and they said “Who?”. Then I said “Kate Middleton” and some people said “Who?” and othes said “I heard about her”, and I went on saying Kate was the wife of Prince William and they said: “And who is Prince William?” I saw a video where a boy asked Harry “Who are you?” Many people don’t know or don’t care about the Royals. Recently Harry was praised for talking about the lost of his mother, even the comments in DM where many people doesn’t like Harry were saying how they were sorry for Harry. William plays the Diana card many times but now he speaks about her lost. I hope this is a way of him dealing with her loss and not because his brother did it and was praised (Sorry but I’m always suspicious of William). And I read that the last time they saw each other (William and Diana) they fought and he said he hated her. I do not know if this is true, but if it is, I believe that much of what William feels is remorse. Anyway, I’m sorry for William and Harry have lost their mother so soon.

  3. I’m inclined to give them both a win in today’s engagements. Seems they were very genuine, and the people they interacted with were genuinely touched.

    1. I agree. When William is genuinely I really like him. Yes he has a biting sense of humor but when he lets that defensive shield down he actually seems like a nice guy who does care. He’s just so defensive and held back most of the time people don’t get to see that.

      1. I completely agree. When William lets his guard down he is a likeable guy. He will never be as charismatic as Harry, but he doesn’t need to be. I really hope he can emulate how he was today moving forward.

  4. There are positives here: a respectful amount of time spent at both events, and also what appears to be some active listening. Also William gesturing to Kate to be a co-cutter of the cake is inclusive; it’s a little thing but a noticeable improvement from the button-pressing incident in Cornwall. The ‘Wheee’ is a light touch to find something positive for those in a tough emotional spot.

    To be fair, from the article I don’t think William was pushing his personal story so much as trying to find some common ground with both children and being as open as he could be in circumstances that sees his every word reported. Also, the children may feel reticent in such a foreign setting with strangers, but the takeaway would have been (a) it’s okay to feel angry (b) it’s okay to talk about the deceased parent. Often, adults don’t bring up the deceased person to family for fear of reliving the death but in fact, loved ones do like to have them remembered and speak about them as it keeps their memory alive.

    For once, I was focused on the event and not clothes or other stuff. That’s a big plus. If the event was as warm and appreciated as it appeared to be, I hope that W+K ‘got it’ that they need to lead and not be passive visitors ie be genuinely engaged. If so, it will be a turning point for them.

    1. Jen Thank you for your post. The Royals tend to be such private people that it has to be hard to express certain things since they do know it will be made very public. I think William has been trying to be more open in this area. It is one thing to be in a group but in this instance it is the whole world. I know I could not.

  5. I said it before but William’s “do you know what happened to me” is incredibly rude and off putting even if he was attempting to be sincere and empathize. I am sure he can, however he is so selfish and arrogant that it still is all about him. It bothers me.

    I do think he connects better with people than Kate because he can, sometimes, fake it; when he fakes it, he can do alright and sometimes I see the younger man he used to be when he didn’t seem so bloody miserable. When he doesn’t, well, we see how awful he can be. It’s nice he encouraged her to talk about her dad. Harry has said his problem has been he never talked about his mom. That will hinder the grieving process I’d imagine.

    It’s sad I give him points for at least attempting empathy. I think he’s just a cold, angry person and it really shows. Part of me pities him. My dad lost his mom at 17 to suicide. It destroyed him, despite them having a horrendous relationship (she was most likely schizophrenic and tried to kill him on multiple occasions). My aunt told me he was never the same. I assume William is like that, and it’s sad he can’t get over the anger. I doubt you ever get over the pain of it.

    I’m glad he included Kate versus Kate hovering in the background letting him do everything, which is how they usually are.

    1. I think William’s anger/grief is complicated. Not just by external things like the press, but by the fact that they weren’t getting along when she died.

      He may have been in peak teen rebellion yesrs when you are rude and vile to your parents. There are reports they rowed alot during that summer and he often reduced her to tears.

      And Paul Burrell couldn’t wait to tell the world that the ladt conversation they had was an argument in which he told her he hated her before slamming the phone down.

      Then she dies and he is left with many unresolved issues and regret.

      He may still be angry with her and wanting protect her because one of their frequent arguments was about her stunt Queening for the media and the inevitable attention it attracted. He refused to join her on one of her summer jaunts on the Fayed summer of fun as a direct result.

      The need to protect coming from her making him party to adult affairs he had no business knowing including her issues with jis father and the royals.

      The minute we had a good look at Kate at the engagement and all the media immediately afterward, my thought was that he picked someone who was the opposite of Diana in stunt Queening for the media, someone completely forgetable who doesn’t attract attention, but also someone willing to play into his protector needs. So when she plays the little girl lost who has to be looked after and protected, she allows him to fulfill something he didn’t do for his mother.

      1. It is an interesting analysis, although she does stunt queen for the press. She has for years, including the relationships with the female reporter she called from a hotel and Tanna.

        Like William, she does it and then blames the press (ex. when they weren’t followed leaving a club, they drove around the block, waved to get press attention, drove off, then complained when followed).

        She does play snowflake, and act as if she needs protecting, which probably does make him feel like he is protecting someone. He does twist it, and the “protecting” of the kids, to get what he wants for himself. IMO she appears to be determined and single-minded when it comes to her goal (landing the prince), not weak.

        1. I agree that she stunt Queens, but not in as obvious a way as Diana.

          He is used to the more obvious version so he doesn’t see the subtle version plus he has convinced himself of his ability to weed out the obvious that i think he can’t fathom that anyone in his circle, let alone his wife, would do it.

          And his feelings about the press make it easy for her (or anyone) to make him think she’s in need of his protection like his mother eg that very obvious media tour 2007 after that break up should have alerted him to her stunt queening or the ability for the same, so it’s amazing that he overlooked it.

          Ditto showing up at his passing out parade in a red coat thus ensuring she was front page news.

          And many, many other examples.

          1. It is amazing how firmly he has the blinders on regarding the Middletons and their behavior. He has found some of the biggest, PR-loving grifters and made them his inner circle. And he believes they are there for him and not for the status they’ve gained. If he ever wises up, the meltdown and anti-Middleton attacks will be epic on his end.

          2. She did a media tour after their break up?! How does Will not see that Kate has the passive aggressive media play down to a science? This is all super interesting. I don’t know much about Kate before the wedding. I wonder if KMR would do a post on Kate’s past.

          3. Miss K: the media tour 2007 was epic. Even though they’d broken up lots of times, it was thought the 2007 breakup was it. The end.

            It wasn’t a classic media tour of sitting down with press and giving interviews. This version was all about allowing yerself to be papped every single day looking fabulous. Day and night. No complaints. No blurry pictures, no running away from paps.

            She went to pap heavy places, incidentally also followed William to where ever he had been papped the previous day/night and allowed herself to be papped in the same place with one of his friends. It was a kind of stalking, but with paps trailing her every move.

            She posed for Hello magazine with an article calling her the perfect princess material that got away from William.

            She wore shorter, tighter clothing and was pictured partying every single day of that break up.

            And when she took up the rowing challenge, she was the only one who turned up for training sessions in full make up and a blow out.

            Every day there were articles about how great she looked, William was an idjit for letting her go AND how she was perfect princess material.

            It took about 3months before he caved.

            Btw: when people think Kate looks sad because of some prrsonal issue, i never believe it because during that media tour 2007, she was heartbroken. Her work mates said as much, she took a ‘heartbreak’ leave of absence from the job, her Uncle Gary told us as much and she confirmed it during the engagement interview.

            Yet, going by that media tour, you wouldn’t have thought she was heartbroken. She looked happy and jolly. Not a care in the world.

            EM: Yes, she gave an interview to the DM whilst on holiday with William and hang up when he came into the room. The DM wrote up the article confirming they had reunited and added her comments and described how they came to have them.

  6. Again a nice visit! And on the same day, that’s great. I liked it that he talked about his mother, he doesn’t have to be too private, but a little bit connects him better to the people. And I also like it when he jokes 🙂 Kate wearing the same dress is also positive in my opinion.

  7. Idk if its only me but kate seems so healthy which is def good in these visits, i can even see a small bump in one of the last pics… !! Is it just me!!

    1. I noticed the bump and just assumed she’d had a grape for lunch. ??
      But yes she did look a whole lot healthier, less tired and more rested that she’s looked for a while. Her skin looked fresher too.

      1. I think it was just the way the fabric pooled when she clutched her bag to her crotch, rather than an actual baby bump. But I could be wrong.

      2. I think it depends on the pic and how much photoshopping they’re doing. Look at the 2nd pic KMR used, the one with Williams’s funny expression(don’t know if that’s his concerned look but he might want to improve) her cheeks aren’t as full as in others. I think it was the event they did in nov where I thought the same becuase her cheeks usually fill out when she is but then I realized that they used some heavy photoshop, there’s usually one that slips through
        Her skin does look smoother tho =)

  8. I sometimes wonder if Harry or William ever talk to Prince Charles about Diana. Could time and circumstances have softened Charles view of Diana?

    My dad died after a very bitter divorce, and I never mention him to my mom, but it’s really weird because we were all part of the same family at one time and have so many shared memories.

    1. AFAIK when Diana died, she and Charles had a decent relationship. They both have said, obviously Diana said this before she died, that they did love each other and cared about each other in their own way. They were just way too different to work.

      My parents are both alive but my dad refuses to ever talk about my mom, blaming her for their divorce; when it was his drinking and adultery that caused it. It’s still a mess and it happened 27ish years ago. Bitter divorces really screw with you, don’t they? :/ I still feel like I won’t recover from it.

    2. What Ellie said.

      By the time she died, they had started to repair their relationship. Richard Kay, her direct mouthpiece, said they had become friends again and she wished them (Charles and Camilla) well.

      Further, he started wearing his wedding ring again after she died. He finally took it off when he proposed to Camilla.

        1. William made that up.

          Charles wore one with Diana; and with Camilla, he also does. So does Philip, and Edward. Just on the pinky finger with the signet ring.

          William just refused to wear one so they made up this tradition that royal men don’t wear them. His press folks also said he didn’t wear one because of being a pilot, which is also garbage.

          1. Amy, what Ellie said.

            All the royal men except William wear wedding rings.

            Philip stopped wearing rings due to his swollen figures, but you can see it in earlier pictures.

            Prince Philip

            Prince Charles 1 (diana) – after her death

            Prince Charles 2 (Camilla)

            Prince Andrew


            Prince Edward


            To be clear, they are wearing their wedding bands next to their signet rings on the pinky finger rather than the conventional 3rd finger of the hand.

          2. Hmm… I can kinda see the pilot part. I don’t wear any jewelry when I’m at work. The rings would cut up the gloves. And PPE is very high up on the priority list for us. Plus wearing any type of metal around fires is a big no-no. I got my boyfriend a chain years ago. He wears it around his neck. Nothing crazy or tacky. He loves it, but always takes it off for work. (He’s a firefighter.) The only thing we both wear is a watch. But that’s for a purpose. Boyfriend takes his watch off on the way to a fire and leaves it in the truck.

            All that being said, I think Will is a d*ck and didn’t wanna wear one to appear like he’s still a single man.

      1. It is beautiful that he wore his wedding ring, he must have really loved her, although they couldn’t cope with each other really well. It also shows respect for Diana.

    1. There’s a video of him crying after she died so I assume he was upset. He looks very sad and upset when he went to pick up her body; he demanded to go, the Queen didn’t want him to, and he did it anyway as far as I remember reading.

      Diana didn’t treat him well either. They were both damaged people. It wasn’t just a Bad Charles vs Saint Diana situation, as most relationships aren’t like that either.

      1. He wore her favorite blue suit to the funeral, and wore his wedding band from her until the engagement to Camilla. As they both said or intimated through the years, they loved each other very much they just weren’t right for each other.

        As has been said, they were two people who thought the other was the answer to a problem – not the person for them, the person to solve the problem.

        1. It’s due to Charles that Diana was highly honoured after her death. He gets such a bad rap, usually in favour of that rank cheating loser, Willy. The guy deserves so, so much better.

          1. The narrative of Charles the villain vs Diana the saint bothers me. It will always be there, haunting Charles. Even if he cured cancer it would still hang around him and people would still hate him.

          1. I didn’t know that, nota, thank you!

            I read MrsBBV’s previous post (explaining why Charles and Diana just didn’t click as man and wife) and it got me wondering: though they were a very poorly matched married couple, how do you think they would’ve been just as friends? Or better yet, do you think, had she lived, they would’ve gotten along better than they ever did when they were married?

            I agree with many others posts: Charles may not be perfect but Diana certainly wasn’t either and we have to remember that, in the end, they are/were humans who make mistakes but also have good qualities about them. 🙂

          2. I think as Diana matured and became more intelligent and interested in life beyond her Palace walls her appeal to PoW would have intensified. Her lack of stimuli beyond gossip and her friends irritated PoW when she was younger. Whilst I don’t think they would have had many shared interests I think her developing mind when developed would have held more interest to him and they could have at least shared adult conversation beyond their children. I’m sure there would have been less rancour and hysteria generally but if Diana had lived to see PoW marry Camilla we more than likely would have had another round of the War of the Wales. Friends yes but as soon as the drama and theatrics started again PoW would have distanced her like a shot. He just couldn’t cope with the rollacoaster that her emotions were. It totally drained him mentally and physically.

          3. @MrsBBV, But he treated her horribly. I’m not making Diana as a saint because she broke up marriages which was wrong and hypocritical on her part.

  9. I will honestly say that the photo of W+K cutting the cake is absolutely adorable. It’s nice to see them engage with one another in a positive way.

    Kudos to him for discussing Diana’s death. However, he didn’t need to frame it in that way. While he was trying to relate, it fell flat. Imho, Will makes comments to remind people who he is. His arrogance annoys me. I also like to watch Kate during these visits. She seems to let William take the lead and is rendered speechless, literally. It’s sad to see. That’s why the cake cutting was a delightful sight.

    Thanks for the double post, KMR!

    1. It made me happy that William pulled Kate into the cake cutting since usually she does and says nothing during joint engagements. I haven’t been able to find any quotes from her from this joint engagement, unfortunately.

  10. I doubt that William was being arrogant in assuming that the children knew who he was. Of course they knew. They would have been told prior to their arrival who was coming and to be on their best behavior. The building was most likely scrubbed from top to bottom and the rooms tidied for them so everyone sensed that this was an important visit. William can be very empathetic, especially with children now that he is a father himself. For all my fellow posters who have had their own painful childhoods, my heart goes out to you and I wish you peace and happiness.

    1. I agree with both BethNY and Halfofone. If anything Prince William does wrong, the one thing to me that he will always do right is to share someone’s pain from the loss of a parent. He will know what to say and what not to say.

      My father was admitted to hospital on Oct. 29 and was diagnosed with incurable lung cancer. We took him home on Dec. 7 and he passed away on Dec. 17, 2016.

      I cannot believe the unbearable pain and grief I am enduring and I am 45 years old. I now know never to say to a person grieving i.e.

      1. S/He lived a long life. (dad was 88 y.o when he passed away)
      2. It’s for the best since he suffered less.

      They don’t make the pain and grief better. Maybe a strong hug, strong handshake are just enough to express sympathy.

      1. So sorry for your loss, Beatrice. 2016 was the year my dad also passed. At the beginning of the year, I remember thinking that he would live to celebrate his 90th birthday, just as QEII, something he was very proud of. As it turned out to be, he missed his birthday by 14 days. And you’re right, age of the deceased or even ours doesn’t make the grief better.

        To second the lovely post of BethNY I would add that I send my sympathies to all the members of KMR community who have experienced the loss of a loved one. It is a part of life and a reality that we’ll always deal with. Let’s hope it can make us better people, too.

        1. This is such a lovely community so supportive of each other. I really feel the care and love. The loss of a loved one is something you never get over you just learn to live with it.

          1. Beatrice, my thoughts and prayers are with you. And, you, dear Elina. It is horrible to lose a beloved parent, I am sure. I wish you comfort and many strong, happy memories of your fathers.

        1. I’m so sorry for you, too, BamaLynn.

          Let me say that I thank all and each one of you for the kind words we share here. Even when we rightfully criticise W&K’s actions, it’s worth remembering they are humans, too. And I can’t think of anything more important than be kind to one another.

  11. Oh if only they could manage this more consistently. This is the William I signed up to. He has the skills and tools he just needs to use them. I don’t think the comment was arrogance, quite the reverse. He just didn’t assume that even a child knew his story or who his mother was. In his own clumsy way he was trying to build rapport. On days like today it’s all about the event and the cause and not clothes and wiglets. I know my bar is set low but today was a huge thumbs up from me. Well done!

    1. I wonder though if this event is not about the dress and the wiglets because we already saw the dress and hairstyle earlier in the day.

  12. Did anyone notice that the original eponine coatdress has 5 buttons? Kate had it altered to only 4, that is why it looks rather short waisted. Does anyone else think she could be pregnant ? I certainly do not want to start a rumor, but her face looks fuller, so does her tummy and it would explain the 4 buttons instead of 5.

    1. I was wrong about George and Charlotte so I wouldn’t be surprised if I were wrong again, but people have been saying the same things about Kate possibly being pregnant for over three months and nothing’s been announced.

      1. If it is true, they may be waiting a respectable amount of time between Zara’s sad announcement and their own joyful one.

        1. It is always the “HG” blamed for the early (5-6 week mark) outing of the news. If she were pregnant now, but able to work, then claims she cannot work four weeks from now? That would make any ensuing claims of HG and being unable to work even more suspect.

    2. My first thought when I saw the pics yesterday was that she was pregnant: her boobs looked fuller. But then I saw the botox and the hair colour and that nixed the idea for me.

      1. Modern day studies on hair color and pregnancy have concluded that it is indeed safe to use during pregnancy. Some expecting moms feel that doctors have a tendency to lay caution on extra thick, so they will continue to get Botox. Just like some moms continue to chain smoke throughout their pregnancy.

        1. Kate noticeably didn’t dye her roots when pregnant with George and Charlotte though. I don’t see her risking it this time.

  13. That receiving line video is shocking. William walks in with a smile on his face and seems engaged. Kate hangs back, deferring to William (protocol and/or their personal dynamic, I imagine) and looks bored and almost irritated at being there. Her greetings to the people in the line-up were pretty perfunctory. I was surprised as she normally (in still photos) looks quite engaged. Maybe she was annoyed at having to do two engagements in one day, even if she did get a new coat-dress out of the occasion?

    1. Never, ever trust photos of Kate. Always look for the video.

      The reason being that she has mastered the art of holding poses for photographs or arranging her facial expression to look very happy and or engaged even where no one is talking to her. The media then use those photos to the papers.

      The resulting photos give a different, happy picture than the reality.

      Video shows how much or how little she engages. It also shows you the the switch like changes in her facial expressions that translate into happy, engaged photos.

      1. Thank you, Herazues. I had never watched video of Kate at an engagement before, so this one really opened my eyes.

      2. I just watched the video. This is a first for me. You weren’t kidding! She looks so lost. Kate looks more like Will’s assistant than his wife. I get they have the whole walking behind protocol, but she has no idea what to do. She doesn’t know how to stand her ground. She’s constantly looking at Will to see what to do next. She defers to him for everything. Seriously?! It’s 2017 girl!

        1. huh she is letting him go first true the door then she is waiting on him to finish talking with the first person. What do you think she should do, smile bright. If she did that you can complain that she is always smiling. She does nothing wrong there.

    2. I honestly think that if he didn’t have his airhead wife with him, this is what we’d see at all of his engagements. He’s always more natural alone and it seems this environment proves therapeutic for him as well as the children. If this is what we get, then maybe he/they should consider this as more of a focal point than a very broad, vague cause of “mental health.”

      1. I think the main reason here is he knows what it’s like to lose a loved one. As much as you can sympathize with someone, you don’t really know what it’s like until you lose that person. AFAIK, Kate has never lost someone close to her. So it’s hard for her, or anyone for that matter, to really understand the emotions. Will can relate because he knows what the hole feels like. It’s a hole that you can never replace or fill. You just learn to live with it.

        1. True. She only seems to relate to Ben and overpriced ugly clothes. I don’t get the feeling that she genuinely cares about anyone outside of her family. Just my impression from watching her over the years. Lots of glib statements and looking bored. I still think this is the kind of area where William can be more comfortable and really do a lot of good, with or without her.

  14. I think that overall this was a good outing for the Duke and Duchess. It must have been very difficult to meet with children who have experienced loss. William might have framed his comments better, but he did try to get an important message across and I think it will continue to resonate with those who heard it. Perhaps, Kate did not speak because she thinks her husband can relate better to children who lose a loved one.

    The comments concerning the difference in which Harry and William deal with their grief is not fair. Everyone is different and perhaps, Harry, just hides his emotions better and then puts on a braver front to the public. I lost one of my brothers when I was a kid and the pain was horrific. My parents were good enough to send all the kids to a specialist in grief counseling for youth. It was a life-affirming experience. I applaud those who do such work and anyone who promotes that work. People need to know that grieving is normal. And, it is hard work. It needs to be supported with understanding and love. There are different phases that can pop up again at a moment’s notice. Five years after my initial counseling, I thought I was “over my pain.” Oh, I knew that birthdays, Christmas and Thanksgiving would come again and my brother’s absence would still hurt, but I was shocked to find out that out of the blue — when I was at a friend’s after school, I found myself crying hysterically when a song came on that my brother used to play when he tried to teach my sister and me how to dance. He was not the best dancer, but he was so damn interested in making sure that his sisters knew a thing or two about the “art.”

    I really wish anyone who is experiencing grief — especially kids — would have the chance to be supported by experts in the work of grief counseling. And, to have a chance to hear others stories. William did something wonderful yesterday. He opened up and I am sure the people there could not help but be touched.

    And, anger is the toughest part of grief to work through. At least for me and those I know who have battled it.

    1. I agree with you here Jenny. As much as I get annoyed by Will and his usual lacking self, I think it’s unfair to judge how he grieved/is grieving for Diana. Everyone is different and grieves differently.
      For me, the hardest part was the guilt. I lost my dad a few years ago and to this day I still feel so much guilt. I went to see a therapist and the one thing that stuck was this: “There’s no way around it, you gotta go through it.” How long someone takes to “go through it” is different. Some get through quickly, others don’t.

      1. I’m sorry Miss K. Working through guilt is so hard. I had tremendous guilt over my brother’s death because I wanted to stay after school to participate in some games and my mother was not able to pick me up. I refused to let her convince me to come home and asked instead that she have one of my brother’s pick me up. My brother was killed in a car accident when he was coming to get me.

        I still have guilt pangs, although not as much. I think time is a great healer. So is talking about your feelings. You do have to go right through it. I wish you well and agree with you that people’s response times are so different.

        1. Oh Jenny, I’m sorry too. I can’t even imagine how that would feel.

          For me, I stayed at the hospital with my dad all day, everyday from the minute I woke up until it was time to go to bed. The one night I left a few hours earlier (because a close friend was moving away and had their farewell dinner), was the last night my dad was alive. He passed away the next day before I could get to the hospital.

          I was reading up thread that the last conversation Will had with Diana didn’t end well. I can only imagine the guilt he must feel from that.

          1. Thank you, Miss K. I am sorry for the loss of your dad.

            One of my friends lost her father two years ago and similarly, she had not stayed at his bedside as long as she normally did, and she was only home for one hour when she received the call that he passed away.

            He was in Hospice and she mentioned to me that several nurses always tried to tell her that people pass when they are ready to do so. And, some may want loved ones with them by their bedside, while others do not As odd it may seem, especially if he was not conscious, perhaps your dad didn’t want you to see him pass. So, on some level when he knew you had left, he was ready to move on to the next phase. I hope that might be comforting. He is probably so proud of you. All your comments show an intelligent, hard-working, caring person. The work you do is very important and all people should be grateful for those who do the jobs that people like you do.

          2. As an ICU RN, I can tell you patients often look a little better clinically before they die. Sometimes family members go home to get a few things done and the patient will die after their last rally.

            This does happen and is so upsetting to family.

        2. Jenny, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. And how it came about is tragic. I trust you had counseling to help you through your feelings of guilt. That would be a hard burden for a young person.

          1. Hi, BamaLynn, I hope you are doing well. I know you also suffered the loss of a dad.

            Thank you for your kind words. My siblings and I did go for grief counseling and it was helpful, but hard. As I am sure you know, not a day goes by that you don’t remember and miss a loved one. My saddest thoughts are that my brother never got to do what he wanted to do. That he never married and had kids of his own and that he never got to see my baby, his niece. Although, I try to think he somehow knows!
            Sending my best to you,

      1. Thank you, Miley. Your story hurt my heart and I wish you and yours the very best. Healing is tough and yet, we go on. Learning to live with holes in our hearts.

  15. Aoife, the little girl in the video, breaks my heart. Such sadness in her eyes. I hope Will and Kate will continue their work with this organization in whatever capacity they can.

  16. Sorry this is off topic, but has anyone seen this? KP Twitter account posted that on Jan 17 they trio will outline their ambitions for the Heads Together campaign! Between all three of them working in January instead of waiting until almost March to start, Kate and William doing a good job yesterday at their engagements, and this from Twitter I’m really happy about how this year is starting already!

    1. I am pleased but this sudden about turn with regards to their responsibilities would suggest some straight talking happened over the Christmas period? I won’t count my chickens as we’ve been here before but if this is a fresh start long may it continue.

    2. I just saw where Kate is doing an event with EAAA at the end of Jan as well. Surely, this has to be a record for them working the most ever in Jan? So maybe they got that talking to. Whatever the reason, I’m pleasant surprised. Let’s hope the trend continues

  17. I forgot to ask in my earlier post but do you know how many times William’s visited this charity?
    Please and thanks
    If you don’t no worries, just wondering

    1. According to the online CC, since January 2010, William has done four engagements as Patron of Child Bereavement UK. Only two of those were visiting the centers; the other two were dinners. The two visits were both jointly done with Kate. So basically, William is a terrible patron to them.

      1. My goodness. That is truly extraordinary. I would have thought that a cause so obviously fit for William, given his experience with loss and grief, would have elicited a more conscientious patronage from him. Thanks for the data, KMR.

      2. Thanks for the #s.
        Disappointing when you look at them, this could be a patronage that he could be great at since he can actually empathize with the kids.

      3. But Julia Samuels said he was so compassionate and committed and amazing!

        People will believe that line but don’t look beyond to see how he never goes to anything to support his patronages. They just read what is parroted by the organization who will always brown-nose the royal patron.

  18. I think the Duke and Duchess were outstanding when meeting with the children. I was impressed by their caring ways and found it moving that William opened up. I did not feel that he was cold or distant. Nor, did I think he was looking for any sympathy. He was letting the children know that he understood their pain because he lost his Mum when he was a kid. That could only help the children who heard him.

    I think Kate really was empathetic and showed care toward the children, too.

    This is a win/win for the Cambridges. They did a good job! I am happy to see that!

    1. I was impressed that William was able to open up on something so personal here. If William tries, he can be pretty good at these royal visits. Kate, she is just a wall hanger, a tourist, just floating around, who is neither here nor there.

  19. Totally off topic but you know we had a poll about Kate’s dresses a few day ago. I made a comment on how my Mum had been a seamstress for a designer Diana used occasionally. My Dad told me today that Mum did actually work on some of Princess Margaret’s clothes but such is my Mum’s discretion she would never discuss it with anyone. I’m 45 and I found that out about my own Mum today! I’m rather thrilled and proud as PM was quite a snappy dresser and a style icon on her day.

    1. It’s always exciting when you learn tid bits about your family. It must speak of her level of skill if she was working on big name clients wardrobes, you have every right to be proud =)

    2. That is really cool, MrsBBV! Were you lucky enough to inherit your mom’s talents? Two things I always wish came naturally to me are sewing and singing. Now, I can manage to wrangle on a dangling button but even Happy Birthday is too many chords beyond me. When I was holding him in church, my son (at a year old) used to put his chubby paw over my mouth, with a very serious look in his eye- please picture this, it’s too funny- as I sang the hymns. Kids right? Pure honesty before they can even talk.

    3. Mrs. BBV, how amazing. I am glad you are finally privy to this info. Your mom actually worked on clothing for Princess Margaret! That is amazing and something she must have been so proud to do. I can imagine how proud you must feel about her.

      As others asked, have you inherited any of her seamstress skills? You are always such a lover of fashion and I am sure she was, too. I particularly enjoy your comments on designer clothing. You know of which you speak!

      1. Yes, how wonderful. And your mother was really the soul of discretion. Jenny is right about your knowledge of couture. A wonderful legacy.

    4. That’s so cool! I wonder if I saw any of your mom’s work on PM’s gowns when I went to Kensington Palace. Works of art!!

    5. I am hopeless and can’t even thread a needle but my sister is very talented with home interiors. She has just made a life change and given up being a stockbroker in London, sold her house and moved to Alnwick, (The Percy Family live in Alnwick castle) bought a house by the sea and is immersed in interior design.

      I do love my fashion but this conversation only came about on the offchance as my Dad wanted to buy my sister a new sewing machine that could do buttons. He was asking my advice and he said ‘if only your Mum could have afforded one of those back when she was doing dresses for PM, it would have saved her so much time. Whoa, wait up Dad what did you say?

      My Mum & Dad have been divorced for 30 years and I expect I would never have known until maybe when she’s no longer with us and sorting her things out but Dad said she made evening gowns for Gina Fratini & Belville Sassoon Fashion Houses until the late ’80’s and somewhere there is a press cuttings book of things she made either being worn by Royal women or being modelled in the glossies.

      All my life I had the most beautifully made clothes. Beautiful children’s dresses with hand done smocking, the best fitting adult clothes. My teens……well it was Chelsea Girl, Miss Selfridge, Benetton and ‘Way In’ in Harrods but anything like a Prom dress or ballgown my Mum would make for me. Now she alters any clothes I buy, makes curtains, cushions, pelmets, lampshades, bed throws and such like for my home. But yes I do feel very proud and quite emotional. We do talk about high end fashion and couture a lot so I understand many of the processes I just don’t have ‘the eye’.

      Thank you for sharing my excitement. Xxxx

      1. I’ve so enjoyed learning this about your family! How exciting! I want to join your sister in her cottage by the sea. Any chance she needs an American butler and housekeeper?

    6. Wow what a wonderful bit of family history here Mrs.BBV! My grandma was quite the seamstress but neither my mom or I inherited those skills..we simply don’t have the patience for it, lol. I want to try my hand at crocheting, can make a very simple cross-stitch bracelet…but that’!

      1. Yes, Mrs. BBV, a wonderful family history. I think your fine eye for fashion is a gift your mum passed on to you. It’s lovely to think of someone who has such an eye for detail and an ability to sew at a time when so many people lack the patience or the skills. I shudder when I think of how horrible I am. Even sewing buttons on is a major challenge!

  20. Totally superficial, but I was struck by the very inventive cakes the royals get to cut. Never a simple sheet cake.

    1. The organizations do go all out in cake decoration. I don’t blame them; that’s where I’d spend my money, too.

      1. Especially when it will feature in all the photo stories. I hope the royals appreciate these perks: gorgeous cakes and lovely flowers. Though I guess they pass the flowers to hospitals and I don’t remember them getting to eat much cake.

        1. I think P. Anne mentioned that she never got to taste the cake she had cut (after decades of cutting cake!) so it was nice that she got a bite of something — at a WI meeting, I think.

    2. That’s why I think it’s rude when they don’t partake in the refreshments. Their patronages clearly go all out for them. How hard is it to take a bite of something?

      1. That’s not just the Cambs. I doubt if many of the royals get a taste of the snacks on offer. Rather, they just cut the cake, admire the display, and leave the eating to the organizations’ workers and volunteers — the real heroes.

        The royals go to a lot of fundraising lunches and dinners. They do eat at those. I know Di and Phillip have commented on it. I was surprised when Kate bailed before the end of her gala meal at… white dress event.

        1. HM will but she has requirements ie not a lot of garlic because she doesn’t want to have stinky breath for people she meets and nothing too messy or spicy.

          1. It was the dinner at which she wore the white, bare-shouldered dress. She spoke at a podium and sat down for a meal. Apparently, she left before the meal’s end. I remember thinking that it’s a rude way to say “no” to dessert.

  21. Off topic but I want to know if William and Kate were to divorce; how would that go? Would she allowed to stay at the palaces since she is the mother of a future king? I’ve noticed that all of their homes, and Kate’s engagement ring do not belong to her. Anmer Hall belongs to The Queen, Kensington belongs to the state and as far as I know Charles paid for the furnishment while The Queen with the renovations. William and Kate didn’t pay for anything at all. I’ve read William is a bit of a cheapskate and he lets Charles and The Queen pay for everything. Heck the only thing he used his inheritance on was for the Middleton Manor. Would Kate get all of that? Also another thing Kate’s ring. Since it belonged to William’s mother does that mean she would return it if they were to divorce? What does loosing the HRH title entail?

    1. I could be wrong, but AFAIK, an engagement ring becomes the property of the woman once they get married. If a couple were to split before the wedding, the engagement ring would go back to the guy because the engagement/wedding wouldn’t happen.

      Kate’s ring though, there may be a clause, prenup or something regarding it, due to its value and its history in William’s life/family.

  22. I give this engagement an 8/10. Agreed that Kate looks really unhappy in that video when they’re entering the building. She perks up a bit near the end when they’re talking to that sweet little boy, but still not great. Hmm. Some other commenters have suggested that this is normal for her, which is disappointing if true. I’ll be paying more attention from now on.

    William’s interactions with the kids were fantastic. Without the full context of any of his conversations, it’s hard to find fault with anything he said. It was so moving to hear him talk about his grief in what seemed like a very honest way. I would love to see more of this from him.

    What I will say is I think it’s extremely unfair for people to have expectations for how much William shares about his grief following his mother’s death. He doesn’t have to elaborate on anything if he doesn’t feel comfortable doing so. That’s his grief, and his alone. That he chooses to share it with these sweet little kids as a means of helping them and encouraging them to speak up about it to family, friends, and professionals is something we should all be thankful for. Not nitpicking at. Regardless of his place in British society, he doesn’t owe anybody anything with respect to the extremely personal tragedy he experienced. I get that it happened in a very public way because his mother led a very public life and so does the BRF, but that doesn’t change the fact that he has the right to sharing or not sharing his emotions regarding something as life altering as his mother’s death. Yes, she was Princess Diana to us, but that’s his mom first. I totally get that it’s helpful to others when he shares his experiences, but in this particular case he absolutely deserves to put his own feelings (whether that’s discomfort or unwillingness or continued grief) ahead of our expectations.

  23. As someone (I forget whom, sorry!) mentioned earlier, I can understand William’s complicated anger/grief when it comes to the death of a loved one. I’ve never told anyone this but… maternal grandmother (who I called Abu–yes, pronounced like the monkey in Aladdin 😉 ) passed away when I was 9 years old, from pancreatic cancer. Now, she started taking care of me (on and off) when I was 2.5 years old. In fact, during one episode, after my sister and I got sick during our first week at daycare (and Mom and Dad couldn’t take time off to take care of us), she hopped on a plane from Venezuela to a cold winter in Boston, MA to care for us so that the folks could continue going to work. Dad picked her up at the airport and was so happy to see her, he cried. (He also bought records and cassette tapes so that he could learn her language and be able to speak with her.)

    Anyway, like I said, Abu lived with us, off and on, until was 9 years old. In March of 1989 (right around my youngest sister’s 1st birthday), she didn’t watch her favorite show, Sabado Gigante, which tipped Mom off that something wasn’t right and took her mother to the doctor. Unfortunately, Mom was right: Abu was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and only had a few months to live.

    Mom arranged for Abu to fly back to Maracaibo, Venezuela, so that she could die in her home country. I remember the day we were going to take her to the airport. I went to school, like usual, but during music class, the office called me down because my family had picked me up so that we could make the trip. almost 28 years later and I’m still so ashamed that the only thing on 9-year-old Kim’s mind was the fact she was leaving school early. I had no idea why the adults were crying or that I’d see my Abu for the last time. She died on June 20th, almost exactly 3 months to the day of being diagnosed.

    I think it’s because of that guilt (and the fact that I was so young) that I cling to my memories of her, got angry when Sabado Gigante was aired their last episode (in September of 2015), and was suuuper happy when Mom gave me something that belonged to Abu: the cover of her compact mirror since it goes along with one of the first things I remember about her (how soft her skin was and how she’d apply her make-up).

    I can definitely relate to William in terms of that guilt but, thankfully, I’ve recently been reminding myself that I was just a kid and had no idea that that airport trip would be the last time I’d see her alive (though she still comes to my dreams and even once came to me on the anniversary of her death–Mom was jealous).

    Whew! Sorry for the long story! I felt like you needed to know the background before I told the actual situation. Hope it’s okay! 🙂

  24. I don’t know if this has been said, butI found this interesting quote about their cost of their recent Canada tour.

    “The Federal Government of Canada picked up a portion of the tab as well, in a cost-sharing measure with the province, but it hasn’t released the financial details yet. The Federal Government has said its budget estimate was around $855,600, while the Royal Canadian Mounted Police said it spent $2,000,000 in policing costs over the eight-day tour.”

  25. Apropos of nothing to the subject matter of this visit of W&K, but back to the fashion – yes, the blue is gorgeous on her, but…it’s blue. Again. Since the recent posts were a look back at Kate’s clothes and we’ve discussed her many expensive but boring clothes choices and her fondness for lace, wouldn’t this be a nice change for her? She certainly has the figure to pull it off and she could wear a ponytail.
    KMR, you should do a post wear the readers get to virtually dress Kate! (Apologies in advance if you’ve done this and I’ve missed it!)

    1. Virtually dress Kate?! WOw, how much fun that would be!!!! If that cannot be done, perhaps a set of Kate Paper Dolls with tons of gorgeous paper outfits!!! Her family’s company could actually produce them and give the profits to charity. Yeah, right!

    2. Do you mean where people can pick out outfits they’d like to see on Kate? Choosing a dress/coat/etc, shoes, earrings, and such? Like, they would submit links to those things and I put them together in a post?

      1. Sure! Whatever means is easiest for you! I realize Diana was more bold in her evening fashions once she was divorced, but I think we all agree Kate could pull off more than she does at some of her less “royal” events (i.e. awards events or movie premieres versus state banquets where the dress code is more strict).

    1. The person quoted is the person doing the supposed documentary, not a “royal source”. So I don’t think it’s too weird that People got the quote and not another outlet.

      In terms of the documentary, eh. I’ll reserve judgment until I see it, but I’m not excited to see it.

  26. I think the reason it is so hard to believe these two can be at all genuine, is because there are so many years of evidence they are self-absorbed. So everything is viewed via side-eye.
    And we see them as mid-thirties people who are unlikely to change.

    I am trying to take on the perspective that people are dynamic and are always changing, even if slightly. Maybe having children and working with these patronages has humbled them, ever so slightly, and they have become more thoughtful of others.

    With this in mind, I am going to try to take the view that, for example, when William mentioned his own loss, he was trying to comfort the child, let them know they aren’t alone, and have an empathetic moment with them. And I am going to go with the view that they really honestly do care about child and youth mental health, even if they are still fumbling through their exploration of the topic.

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