After skipping their big fundraising event back at the end of November and sending a letter instead, Kate Middleton, as Patron, visited East Anglia Children’s Hospice (EACH) in Quidenham today, January 24.
Kate visited the hospice to get an update on the progress of the Nook Appeal, the launch of which Kate attended back in November 2014. Kate met with families, staff, and supporters today during her visit, and participated in various therapy sessions offered by the hospice.
On arrival, Kate was greeted by children from thee local schools. She also met the parents (Tristan and Claire Cork) and sister (Nell Cork) of a five year old boy (Finnbar Cork) who died last September from a brain tumor. The Daily Mail says Kate “hugged the family before telling them: ‘I’m a mum and I can’t imagine what you’ve been through.'”
EACH “supports families and cares for children and young people with life-threatening conditions across Cambridgeshire, Essex, Norfolk and Suffolk. [Their] care and support is tailored for the needs of all family members and delivered where the families wish – in their own home, at hospital, in the community or at one of three hospices in Ipswich, Milton and Quidenham.”
[Kensington Palace @KensingtonRoyal]
The Nook is a planned new hospice in Norfolk which will replace the Quidenham site in order to accommodate the demand for EACH’s services. EACH currently provides specialist care and support for 351 children and young people with an additional 417 family members receiving face-to-face therapeutic support. EACH is looking to raise £10 million to build The Nook.
[Kensington Palace @KensingtonRoyal]
Part of the tour of the current facility, which reporter Victoria Murphy said on Twitter was quite cramped, included Kate stopping by the sensory room and testing out the equipment.
[Kensington Palace @KensingtonRoyal]
Kate then joined in on an art therapy session. During the session, Kate spoke with 4-year-old Daisy Benton, whose sister Isabella is helped by EACH, and her mother, Michala Benton, about what it’s like being a princess. Michala said afterward (from the DM linked above):
- “My other little girl Daisy asked her what it was like to be a real princess and Kate said she’s very well looked after by her husband. Daisy is four and absolutely loves princesses. Kate also said about her kids that Charlotte and George run in different directions all the time. She was very down to earth and was happy to sit with Isabella.”
Kate’s go-to line for years has been that she’s very well looked after. It’s boring at this point. Get a new talking point.
Many people criticize this go-to line from Kate saying it makes her seem immature and incapable, but since that’s been talked about before I want to bring up another thing which this line makes Kate seem: privileged. And it’s not just about the fact that Kate wants for nothing and everyone takes care of her, it’s the fact that she doesn’t see how rude that would be to say to children and families who are dealing with life-limiting conditions, or underprivileged children who can’t afford to go camping, or whomever else she’s said this to. We know you’re privileged, Kate; get a new talking point.
After the tour, Kate met supporters of the hospice and got updated on the Nook Appeal.
[Kensington Palace @KensingtonRoyal]
While standing in front of a crowd of donors and volunteers, Kate admitted that she was terrified to give her first speech in 2012 at the EACH hospice in Ipswich. From the Mirror:
- “EACH Chief Executive Graham Butland spoke about Kate’s ‘journey’ with the charity since she became patron in 2012 after first making behind-the-scenes visits. He continued: ‘Then that journey developed into your first public speech.’ Kate smiled and interjected – ‘terrifying’ – about the speech she made at EACH’s Treehouse Hospice in Ipswich in March 2012. Mr Butland continued: ‘Terrifying, well I can tell you my former chairman was equally terrified that day.'”
Too bad Kate didn’t say a few words here. 🙁 But Kate hasn’t actually visited an EACH hospice since 2014, so I guess I should just be happy she actually visited one of their hospices.
Kate went green today, opting for a new skirt suit from Hobbs. Kate wore the “Sinead Jacket” and “Sinead Skirt” in Evergreen. They sold for £189 and £110, respectively, before selling out. The jacket features a collarless style with a subtle peplum, and fastens with an exposed front zip and has decorative flap pockets. The skirt is an A-line. The Telegraph reports that the jacket and skirt came out in late August 2015 and Kate must have bought it in late-2015. So she’s just been sitting on this outfit for over a year.
Underneath the jacket, Kate wore a new blouse from Gerard Darel. Kate wore the Josephine Shirt (£175). The silk shirt features a frilled collar with a black bow.
The color and zipper of the jacket and skirt remind me too much of the Erdem Allie coat which I dislike. And I can’t stand the collar of the shirt poking out over the jacket. I agree that the green of the suit needs to be broken up, but I would have rather Kate worn her hair up with a brooch, instead of the collar over the jacket. The peter pan collar is just too twee for me.
Kate wore her Kiki McDonough Morganite and Diamond Cushion Drop Earrings, for some reason (pink earrings with a green suit and black accessories?). She carried her Mulberry Bayswater Clutch in black suede, and wore her Gianvito Rossi black suede pumps.
Here is a video of Kate’s visit.
Victoria Murphy’s Mirror article (linked above) says Kate was at EACH for one hour.
PS. Kate’s next scheduled appearance is a duo act with William on February 6 when they visit a Place2Be school to kick off Children’s Mental Health Week.
PPS. Here’s a Rebecca Deacon sighting. You can’t quite tell from this photo, but she is wearing a ring on her left hand ring finger.
171 thoughts on “Kate visits EACH Nook Appeal”
I like Rebecca’s outfit more than Kate’s. Kate really needs to think up some new things to say doesn’t she?
Once again i’m disappointed in Rebecca’s self presentation. She dresses for the job she used to have in a record company rather than the one she currently has with the royal household. She stands out for the wrong reasons.
By comparison, Mary of Denmark with her LIW
It seems that the assistant/LIW is a reflection of the Royal. Mary is a hardworking individual and has personality so you’d expect her LIWs to mirror her image and gait.
As for Kate, sorry to say, she has none of those qualities so that rubs off on Rebecca too.
I wonder how Maxima’s and Letizia’s LIWs are?
I don’t want to be too mean with Rebecca but I just think “sloppy” on most occasions and my guess is that is how serious she feels her boss is of it all and how demanding she is with her.
Rebecca is in need of a longer hemline and better shape wear. Her unkempt look irritates the heck out of me.
That’s the word: unkempt. She looks sloppy. I’d say she reflects poorly on Kate, but I’m pretty sure it’s the other way round
Hi, Rhiannon. Hope all is well with you. I think of you and miss it when you don’t comment. Worries me — so I hope you are doing well. I know how hard you work at your rehabilitation!
I agree, Rebecca looks terrible. Just so sloppy. If Kate doesn’t care, I guess she doesn’t either. Terrible. The entire team needs to shape up. JET, I am with you, too!
Hi, Jenny! I’m still pushing here. I’m preparing to run my first 5k of the year next month. What was I thinking?
Oh wow Rhiannon, 5k that is absolutely fabulous. Well done, I hope you make it across the line even if you have to walk or crawl!! My sons doing the Heads Together London marathon so he too is training hard. I have persuaded him to raise money for a different charity though! I’m so glad you’re not languishing at home with a broken Harry heart.❤
You, go, rhiannon. And, know we are there with you in spirit!
You are amazing!
Sarah B: not often seen in shot, but this is Maxima’s equivalent of a LIW though it’s a different title/ role in The Netherlands. Her name is Pien Van Karnabeek.
And here she is attending parliament
ETA: Mary has recently changed LIWs, this is the current one as of 2015.
I don’t think Letitzia has one, but i could be wrong.
I wonder if the difference is that maxima and Mary were professionals themselves so know what is acceptable and that their ladies attire reflects off on them too.
I know nothing about Rebecca’s background but question why she and Kate thinks it’s okay for her to always look a mess, have papers hanging out of her bag etc. look at how the belt is on this dress, no slip and way too short hemline!!
I wear scrubs to work yet I iron and starch them before I wear them.
I don’t know about Maxima’s LIW but Mary’s LIWs have had serious work experience prior to their royal appointments. They already know how to dress for the job.
Mary’s current LIW (and secretary) is a highly educated woman with a law degree and work experience from the Foreign Ministry as well as consultant work for TV2.
She took over from Tanja Doky who now holds a high position with Maersk Container Industry.
Thanks, Herazeus! They look professional and confident! As if they’re proud of their jobs.
Rebecca seems to me like she hates her job. How you present yourself reflects your self esteem and confidence level. If you don’t care enough to make the effort to dress confidently and well for your job, it tells me you ain’t devoted to your job.
Wow, talk about perfection with Princess Mary. Even her assistant shouts professional, elegant, sharp, confident, and fashionista.
No class regalness or professionalism in this wear. This lazy useless unkept teenlike, representing HM BRF in tight skirt, parading hands off for PR and still cant get it right. Snowflake has No substance professional. With all the millions, bending and the jacket goes up showing the blouse. Luckily she was told to wear a blouse otherwise all would be flashed! so undignified, unprofessional and lack class- wm wasnt even performing manual labour.
Really? I think it looks terrible on her
I like Rebecca’s dress but it seems a bit short for work environment.
She’s always wearing super short dresses. Not even my (an 18 yr old intern) would take such short hemlines to work.
Kate must be taking the extra material from Rebecca’s hems to make her neck-squeezing collars.
She made a lot of children happy today and that’s all that matters. She looked relaxed and was engaged with the children and hopefully it will get each some pr and they can get that money together.
Like I said, Kate’s actually visiting a hospice, so that’s great.
Completely agree about her needing to have her hair up and better accessories. The Kiki look makes me cringe anymore. Seems more suitable for someone 10 yrs her junior, but that’s just my opinion.
I loved her suit, the material, the color, the cut – it was pretty fabulous. And she looked wonderful in it. A scarf knotted round her neck rather than that dinky collar would have been so much more put together, but baby steps! I am liking this direction so far…
Alas, the answer that no 4yr old was looking for when asking what is was like to be a real princess. Kate played to the adult crowd / press (?) on that one. Fail. What Daisy would have liked to hear? Ooh yes, it’s actually pretty cool living in a castle. Be frivolous, it’s ok, she’s *4* and probably doesn’t even know what a husband is. C’mon man.
I agree re Kate’s answer to Daisy. Daisy wants to hear about gowns and tiaras, I’m sure. Being well looked after by one’s husband isn’t unique to princesses; there are loads of women who are well looked after by their husbands. When one asks what it’s like being a princess, one wants to hear the unique aspect of it.
Exactly! Kate’s answer had nothing to do with the question. She should adapt to her audience and say something like she wears tiaras all the time. Something age appropriate funny.
Or she could have said something like, “It’s lovely being a princess because not only do I get to wear pretty dresses, I also get to visit lovely children like YOU.”
Come on Kate! It’s not like this is the first time a kid has asked you this question. I will personally draft up some Frequently Asked Questions and Answers for you, gratis, so that you are never again have to talk about being taken care of, like a kept woman. (Note: Isn’t this what she has staff for?! Sigh.)
Jeanne, I was just about to write the exact same response but you saved me the typing. I agree. This is a question that has come up before and if not, it was only a matter of time before it did. Surely there could have been a better prepared answer.
As far as the blouse, Kate needed to wear something underneath. I saw some other pictures and when she bent over, which she did greeting children, there would have been lots of skin exposed. I don’t mind the blouse, actually. Love the color on her.
As to Rebecca–lower your hemlines, girl and give Kate back her shoes!
Her answer just shows how pampered and immature she really is. As a 35 year old I would have expected her to say something along the lines of “it’s great because I get to help people”. This is what a modern day princess should be IMO. But her response just goes to show this in not what she thinks her role should be. Her lack of self is more evident every day. It makes me frustrated that she is wasting her platform.
+1 I agree, something that would describe how much she’s interested in meeting and helping different kinds of people, learning about new things, making a difference and bringing attention to great causes, etc. Anything along those lines, and still be age appropriate for the kid to understand.
Her answer is a throwback to Victorian times where wives in the upper classes were infantilized. It’s actually a little disturbing for her to answer this way. But she is so oblivious to her privilege that it’s hopeless.
Totally agree RT, MZA and Nic919. Kate insists on being seen as a snowflake. This is ridiculous for a 35 year old woman. By the way I don’t think Kate is a “real” princess once she only became a princess by marriage. Charlotte is a real princess (by birth), or I am wrong about that?
She seems just plain dumb and self involved. I get to wear Tiaras! would have been a perfect answer or even I get to meet lovely new friends like you! Kate is one of those women who says My Husband all the time. Must remind everybody she got big blue in the end.
Ugh, I was so disappointed with that answer. So boring.
She could have said she finally (wink) married her prince and got to meet the queen, an amazing woman with many beautiful castles, jewels and gowns and that she has even worn a few tiaras that makes her life a bit fairytale and she is grateful/humbled/in awe.
Awww, this answer is perfect!
Ooh, I have to disagree with you in the clothes. I think that suit looks terrible. I don’t think Kate can pull off green. Most of my least favorite outfits of hers are green ones. Green seems to make her look more dull, if such a thing is possible. And I dislike this suit for many of the reasons KMR outlined: too solid, too buttoned up, the collar is distracting. Also the texture of the fabric really stands out, which I don’t think is a good thing.
She has some really unfortunate green coats in her closet which I hope to never see again, but I love most of her green choices.
The green DVF she wore in the States on her “honeymoon” trip, her dark hair and tan complemented it so nicely. The black watch tartan McQueen she first wore visiting St.Andrews back in 2012. That outfit did inspire me to buy the Rhumba boots, which I looove. Uh huh, I repliKated *blushy face*. The green Hobbs coat she wore St. Patricks Day 2014. Two of my favorite hats of hers are green, the beret style with the bow, and the saucer with the tonal poinsettia. I will also add the teal Emilia Wickstead dress and Jane Taylor hat she wore in NZ to my list. Because teal, some say blue some say green, and today I say it’s green 😉 and it looked like it was made to be worn by her- so beautiful.
Whew, bet you weren’t expecting that JET haha, sorry clothes gets me all distracted sometimes. If I had bags of (my own hard earned) money, it would mainly end up on hangers eek!
Ah, it is nice to disagree. For my least favorites I offer
And my least favorite of all time, the green straight jacket she wore to the flower show
Not sure if these are some of the ones you like, but I think green just isnt her color. But I do like her St. Patrick’s Day outfit. But the accessories help.
Oh yes, those greens were not good, happily none of them were on my like list ?.
Isn’t is something else, when you look back and realize just how many clothes this woman has amassed in the short amount of years she’s been married? Must feel like a real rags to riches for her and now she can’t seem to stop.
Well, Kate’s reply to the little girl’s question was to be expected, right. Her husband takes very good care of her. What?
Yes, Kate should have given the child a better answer. The little girl, like so many others, wants to know what it’s like to be a real princess! Kate could have even woven into her answer how wonderful it is to visit with kids like you — to the child.
Hated the suit. Too darn tight when she bent over to greet the children outside. And, then the prim little collar! Say, what?!
All in all, she’s out there, so I am happy. She did seem more relaxed and I hope she keeps going. Giving little speeches and meeting and greeting with a look of really caring is what we need to see from her.
I really thought it was that Erdem too until I saw close ups. I really wish she would style her outfits differently. She’s got a lot of great clothes but her styling is really awful. Agree with you on her comments. I think this shows how quite out of touch she is with other people too.
First thing, I’m glad she actually went. I think she looks awkward in the 4th pic but a little more engaged in the craft one.
Instead of saying as a mum I can’t imagine how you feel. How about throwing in a so sorry for your loss or some recognition that they lost a child. I don’t have kids nor do I want them but I can’t even fathom what that sort of loss entails and I’m a nurse, I see death all the time.
The press seems to be back to their adulation. I read part of the dm article and it’s “compassionate Kate hugs” it looked like she was patting them.
On to the superficial. I think she looks great in the green but hate the collar sticking out. I agree she needs to pull her hair back and a sparkly fun brooch would have added some pizzaz that the kids could enjoy. I do think someone unscruffed her shoes.
Thanks for the RD sighting pics, I somehow have a weird liking to seeing her hot mess. They strangely make me laugh
Instead of saying “I’m a mum, and I can’t imagine how you feel” she should have said “I’m a duchess, and I can’t imagine how you feel”. That is more accurate. She can’t relate to anyone.
I really hate it when parents discuss a childhood problem and say, “I’m a parent, so I know.” I think any caring, sensitive, loving person would feel the pain of the mother who spoke to Kate. JET, your answer slayed me!
I just am so tired of W and K using the idea that they are parents to show empathy. Before George was born, could they? It irritates me to no enc.
I think it’s a growing societal problem rather than uniquely WK where experience is required to make people sympathetic to situations outside of self instead of being brought up sympathetic to the world such that you don’t have to experience a situation in order to feel any sympathy.
Agreed. I was just using this to point out what Kate and William consistently do. Many parents do it and I find it insulting to those who don’t have children. I have a child and I would never dream of using my motherhood as a way of explaining why I get how someone must feel if their child is ill, or sadly, has died.
To echo what another commenter said, she definitely did make a lot of kids happy today and I think that’s wonderful. She seemed very genuine in the videos, especially the bit when she’s talking to that sweet little girl about bowling. I think you’d have to have a heart made of stone not to connect with these little kids. I think Kate is work shy and maybe a little air headed, but I don’t think she’s such a bad person that she wouldn’t see the value in what she did today. Would’ve liked it better had she stayed for a bit longer than an hour, though.
Love her outfit minus the collar. I don’t completely hate the collar, but I wish she’d worn something else. Part of me thinks a scarf would be cute, but at the same time it may look a little flight attendant-y too. Lol. Definitely agree that she should’ve worn her hair up. She looks very nice in a ponytail. Hooray for no plastic clips!
I hope they make an appearance with George and Charlotte soon. They’re so darn cute!
Side note: Rebecca Deacon’s dress is too short for work, especially in the winter! It doesn’t even look like she’s wearing nylons…brr.
Of course if Kate actually enjoyed interacting with the kids and really brightening their day, she would’ve made plans to stay longer than an hour.
That’s a very good point, Red Tulip. I’ve seen other commenters mention that the Royals purposefully limit their time when they visit patronages because of the disruption that it causes, so I do wonder what role that plays in it, particularly with children. But at the end of the day, I don’t think that staying for two hours rather than one would make so much of a difference in terms of disruption.
Other royals generally have these 1 hour visits as a single event within a day or half day of activities in a particular area, so 1 hour would seem ok and understandable if then she went to meet the Quidenham Womens Institute, or learned about the church bell appeal or visited the food bank or primary school. She could have even had a meeting with EACH as well, or met some of the fundraisers offsite.
Otherwise 1 hour seems a bit paltry IMO
Anger not aimed at anyone here, but at kate’s workload and the silly cat who was digging his claws into my knee cap as I was typing the above
I think either hair up with a brooch, or leave the jacket open with a sleek white shirt underneath (no frilly collar or bow), would have looked better. In one of the stock photos for the skirt, it is shown with a white blouse and no jacket. That would have looked lovely on Kate. She could have worn the Goat Binky blouse with this skirt.
I do hope we get something from George and Charlotte before Charlotte’s birthday and trooping.
Definitely, and I think open with a blouse would’ve looked ever slightly more casual, without seeming unprofessional. She is visiting kids, after all! It’s not entirely necessary to look quite so buttoned up. Sigh.
I hope they keep up the momentum with their appearances. Probably wishful thinking though. Sigh, again.
Pants and no stilletos would have permitted her to crouch down closer and actually interact with the kids. She doesn’t dress like a mom who actually knows how to interact with kids. This was an event that was kid specific. She didn’t need the stilletos.
It is kind of fascinating how not only Kate, but I’ve noticed Pippa as well, often rely on girlish collars that could not possibly come up any higher. It’s like an unwritten rule with them that it’s ok to display legs, but not neckline. They simply refuse to bring any sophistication to their wardrobes. Just once, I would like to see Kate in trousers and a jacket – and I don’t mean skinny pants. And while we’re at it, a grown up business woman’s handbag. I think part of her reputation is tarnished by never appearing in “work” clothes. What do you think?
She could absolutely rock a Katherine Hepburn look (wide-leg elegant trousers, silk blouse). Major missed opportunity.
Absolutely! She always looks so awkward at these events and I think her choice of outfit plays a part in that. She looks prudish and unapproachable in most of her outfits.
She looks like a high school student at her first job interview…
Overall a win though, the kids would have been happy to have a distraction and it’s a good cause.
Her accent seems softer and she looks relaxed.
I love the green suit. The fit is so much better than many of the high end designers she wears, and it didn’t cost a thousand pounds. Hope she learns that wearing expensive clothes doesn’t mean being well dressed.
This would have been a win for me if Kate had not set back feminism by 100 years when she said she is well taken care of by her husband. She made herself appear totally dependent on her husband and to have no original thoughts of her own. Ugh!
This is so true! They try and sell Kate as this modern woman but she has no idea what a modern woman is
Modern women get jobs after college-not live off parents
Modern women don’t look at every relationship they have as who takes care of me-they realize that it’s a give and take
Modern women work and take care of kids-not use the kids as an excuse not to work
Modern women push the effing button!
The list could go on and on
She is not even a 20th century princess like her mother in law was. She is like the Victorian ones who just had to look pretty and produce kids.
The irony being thst Queen Victoria’s daughters were hardworking and rebelled against their prescribed roles and their mother’s restrictions.
They are individually and collectively impressive. Except for Beatrice who was truly her mother’s lifelong hostage to extent that she remained unmarried long after the accepted age and when she finally rebelled and became engaged, Victoria refused to speak to her for 7months and only conceded when Beatrice and her future hysband agreed to remain living at Windsor with Victoria post-marriage.
I’m not sure what age Kate belongs because upper class women were not pampered poodles. Yes they had staff and time for leisure, but they weren’t sitting around being pampered. They had to take care of the daily operations of the estate and their tenants and make their hubby look good in society and publicly. And if their husbands were involved in govt, the women were their husbands’ unpaid diplomatic networkers and helpers. And when charity became a thing, they took that up too. Completely unseemly not to be seen not contributing.
If anything, i think Kate belongs to an imaginary age straight out of a romance novel. Like Diana, she is rewriting what it means to be a princess except her version is pampered cheshire cat in the sun.
Exactly! She is NOT a modern day princess as the media tries to portray her! As I said earlier, a 21st century princess would have responded with “it’s great because I get to help people”. She is wasting her privilege and platform.
I just can’t imagine any intelligent man settling for such a mindset in a woman.
Two key words intelligent man. I don’t believe William is that. They both seem to lack general curiosity/intelligence about anything other than themselves. I think both are lacking intelligence but the job doesn’t require them to be brainiacs-just be hard workers, come prepared and show a little compassion. Neither seem to be able to do that.
Harry who seemed to understand that college wouldn’t be a good fit for him at least shows more intellect and curiosity in other things and at least seems to come prepared.
I think William is himself confused. He thinks he’s an intelligent man, but isn’t and isn’t willing to put in the work to be. And on the one hand I think he wants someone he deems intelligent and who wouldn’t embarrass him by making foolish comments, like Jecca Craig, but on the other hand wants his wife to be submissive to him and not challenge him, like Kate. So he’s at odds with himself. That may add to why he is so grumpy, because he cannot reconcile the different parts of himself.
You’re much more magnanimous than I! I think he’s a grump because he’s generally a jerk and hates that he has to work =)
Oh I think he hates working and hates having responsibilities, too. I also think he’s a rude person in general. But I also think he thinks of himself as an intelligent man but isn’t willing to put in the work it takes to actually be an intelligent man. He wants things but isn’t willing to work to get them. So he’s in a constant state of unhappiness.
I think the idea that she is submissive to him is a fabrication. Plenty of stories from the people who know them about their screaming matches over Scrabble, how competitive they are, her attitude towards other women and staff. All of the staff they’ve hired and lost in 5 years. We’ve read their passive-aggressive comments about each other in public. Not models of domestic harmony.
I think William didn’t want a partner who would challenge him to work more or be professional. That doesn’t mean she is submissive to him or doesn’t have backbone.
She and her family treat him like a god and that’s what he wants. But overall, that gets them the status they want in the end. They let him live the life he wants, mostly footloose and fancy free, because it gets them what they want.
He has a psychological need to rescue someone? Fine she’ll play the PR game of talking him up like he’s the big strong man who protects her.
When he does something Clan Middleton doesn’t like? She and her family drag him back to heel with pap strolls with the baby sans daddy for the first vacation (when Daddy was hunting with Jecca), pap stroll and stories of daughter’s first Easter when Daddy was off with Jecca, etc.
After those Jecca pics, she gets a 10 days beach vacation with her husband away from the 8-month-old baby. She gets what she wants in the end.
(p.s. This is when I miss former poster FLORC. She had a great analysis of this whole thing, with examples of the many times they’ve yanked him back.)
Those are all true though BostonBrahmin. Because anything and everything that Kate has, including her formal name, is all due to William’s royal status/accident of birth. Even the hair on her head isn’t her own; the lush wiglet that’s becoming more and more obvious, is due to her husband’s and in-laws money.
Hair falls under the possession is nine-tenths of the law principal. No matter where it came from or who paid for it, once it’s on her head it’s hers. And really, no one wants it back after that, do they?
Ugh – the ‘I’m so well looked after’ quote makes my eye twitch. She’s an adult, she should be capable of taking care of herself, no? She gets VIP access to amazing places, gets to meet a truly broad range of people and has the opportunity to have a real impact on people’s lives, and as far as she’s concerned, THE BEST THING ABOUT BEING A PRINCESS IS THAT SHE’S WELL LOOKED AFTER.
That is an embarrassing, cringe-worthy response and someone should tell her she’s making an ass of herself every time she says it.
+1. She really is channeling a pastiche of 1950’s life. As stated above, the answer was “I get to help people” and “I get to meet wonderful people like you.”
I agree with a commenter who said the original answer seemed directed to the press to pick up. It’s been a common meme for quite a while and makes Kate look like a child, nothing but a mute ornament to her husband. Pathetic.
Not only is she an adult, but she is a mother with children of her own…. who takes care of them? That answer doesn’t sound like a woman who puts her kids above all else, but instead a woman who puts herself first.
Looking the totality of their relationship, it seems like she puts William first. His needs, his wants, his desires. I think her comments of being well looked after are just wishful thinking on her part. It’s how she justifies the subsuming of her own personality to him. She wants to believe that the payoff for her sacrifices is that he’s ‘taking care of her’. He is not. That is the core of my belief that they will eventually divorce.
I don’t think William directly ‘takes care’ of Kate. I think Kate is cared for indirectly by marrying William and being cared for by the perks of this marriage.
I do agree with Red Snapper in that Kate wants to believe she is well cared for and this means she is loved by William.
“I think Kate is cared for indirectly by marrying William and being cared for by the perks of this marriage.”
+1. That is really well put.
An insider (Anmer?) said that Kate’s mothering was compromised because she needed mothering herself. Red Snapper’s take, above, seems right on the money. Be careful what you wish for…
The more she spins the idea that she is a snowflake that needs looking after, the more excuses some people make for her lousy work ethic. Oh this is so difficult for her, this life is so stressful, she cannot work more than this, precious needs looking after. Just her way of playing the Diana card. Oh don’t stress her too much, don’t make her be a working parent, or she’ll end up unhappy and divorced like Diana.
Playing the snowflake gets her what she wants. WAG lifestyle, status, endless shopping budget, and a pathetic level of work. It isn’t like William will ever encourage her to work more or be professional, because then he’d be on the hook to improve too.
The blouse sticking out completely ruined the suit for me. The first pictures I saw of Kate were from the side, so at first I thought this was gonna be a great outfit and it would be like her blue Rebecca Taylor suit (which I think has looked great every time she’s worn it), and I was so disapointed when I saw it from the front. The exposed zipper and her wearing it zipped up all the way don’t help either.
Also, I’m kind of torn on whether this outfit (ugly or not) was appropriate for this engagement. It does make her look more professional and put together than she has in the past, but I feel like a pencil skirt isn’t really a good idea to be wearing at a place with a lot of kids, and especially a place with sick kids in wheelchairs where she’s probably going to have to lean down, sit or bend down to interact with them. I think some nice slacks with that jacket would have been better, or maybe one of those flowy, below the knee, kind of 70’s style dresses that she wore a few of in 2016.
Like you, I thought the suit looked good on Kate. Given the event was with children, something a bit softer might have been more appropriate. Eugenie’s Erdem dress comes to mind, but with much lower heels than worn today:
No Erdem! Erdem is terrible.
The Erdem on Eugenie – just this one gown – looks pretty; I agree re. every other Erdem monstrosity.
Erdem is fug, but this dress is really pretty.
I like this suit. I think green is a good color for her and I like a bit of texture. I think the pencil skirt was a good idea too — no fly-ups or up-skirt looks — but the jacket is too short for her torso and the suit is tailored just a bit too tight. The blouse with full zip is dumb and she can’t accessorize to save her life, but she’s appropriate enough. She engaged with the kids and, however clumsily, with the adults. Really, who there doesn’t know she’s a mother? I’m really tired of the “as a mother/father” qualifiers.
So Kate is wearing Astro turf and has clearly stolen Charlotte’s frilly collar. Is she out of her mind?
Yes!! Not a fan of that shade of green and not a fan of the material, it does channel astro turf!!
Thank you! I didn’t read down far enough to find the others who don’t like this suit. It is awful. Kate can’t wear dark green. Not her color.
And another thing: I don’t know about you all, but I wouldn’t wear sky high heels to visit with children and tower over kids- in the 2nd picture, where she has to do a half-squat to bend down and talk to a kid- don’t imagine that being too comfortable. Not being comfortable in the posture would easily cut any conversation short between Kate and the kid she’s talking to. Also, she has her hands closed off and in front of her crotch the entire time, even while at the sensory room. She’s really giving off the vibe that she prissy, she’s not really involved with what’s going on around her and doesn’t want to engage with anybody really. She’s not getting down to it, you know what I mean.
It is another engagement where Kate is only doing this because she has to-in exchange for being looked after by her husband and to buy ugly clothes with duchy money.
I’m not sure stilettos are a great idea for exploring a brand new multi-sensory playmat, either. A pair of her slightly lower heeled knee boots would have looked good and a bit youthful with the suit and been appropriate for the very frosty weather in the UK.
I just wonder why she couldn’t have kicked the spiky stilettos off for the time it took to try out the sensory mat. It would have been less than a minute I’m guessing…
She’s got the nastiest feet I’ve ever seen, toes bending away from her foot bone from all the time spent crammed into towering heels, enormous bunions (again, her choice in shoes), and a flat arch in her foot.
I think hell will freeze over before Kate shows us her feet willingly. Last time she did was in Bhutan, and it would have been considered rude not to follow the protocol of the event.
Perfect opportunity for a nice trouser suit and a pair of flats.
I didn’t even recognize her voice in the clip! She sounds so much more natural than usual. I hope that weird accent/affectation she normally does is gone for good. She sounded like an actual woman here.
The “well looked after” comment is so bizarre, and I think it gives an insight into her mentality. I don’t know a single woman who would ever think to say that, and I know a lot of women in great marriages. The difference is that the women I know also have their own identity that is completely independent of their spouse or romantic partner. It’s just so weird. I don’t know any woman who wants to be “well looked after” as if they’re an infant or incapacitated. I have a loving, supportive husband who has provided well for me just as I’ve provided well for him, but it would never in a million years cross my mind to say I was well looked after. I look after myself. My husband is my emotional support, not my caretaker.
I wonder if all this “looked after” business is to try to combat the reputation the royal family has after Diana made it sound like they left her out in the cold to fend for herself, like Kate’s trying to reassure everyone that she’s okay. Seriously, every time she says it I think of a hostage who is trying to reassure negotiators that no harm has come to them.
I definitely agree with you about her sounding different! I could barely detect her usual hard-to-understand fake posh accent.
I’m glad we actually got to hear her talk, interact, with a normal voice. Very refreshing.
I think she plays the Diana card, like her husband, as a Get Out of Work Card. Sophie didn’t need this kind of kid glove treatment, this isn’t a difficult job. As long as she can convince everyone she’s too fragile to do this job, KM gets away with less than the bare minimum.
If she was truly incapable of doing this simple job, and he doesn’t want the job, they need to own up to it and walk away. This limbo is ridiculous.
+1 absolutely notasugar!
I watch the show Sister Wives, and one of the daughters just got married to a questionable guy, and what she likes about him is that he protects her and makes her feel safe. That daughter is very immature, so I think these comments about being taken care of, and feeling protected are from immature women who don’t have much agency of their own. No confident or capable woman would ever say that.
Sorry my last comment on this thread.
I will wholeheartedly give credit where it’s due: to the lovely people who work day in and day out at a children’s hospice, to make the last few moments of the lives of these children more comfortable and allow them to live as kids, even if it’s for a short while. If it was a perfect world, there would be no such thing as a children’s hospice; but because the world is imperfect and there is much suffering in it, thank you to the hospice staff and volunteers who try to chase away the dark, the sickness, the pain.
I would like to give credit to the parents of these kids: they are brave and strong. I really do not know how they hold on and be strong and happy for the sake of their children.
And to the kids themselves: they are the bravest and most awesome of all! They, in their innocence and joy, were happy to see a real life princess. They do not need to know that not all princesses, are unselfish and uncaring, and are just using their innocence for PR.
Honestly, EACH deserves a better patron than Kate.
Here, here. I admire everyone who works for these children, and the families, too. It sounds draining, exhausting, emotionally taxing–yet rewarding. Bless them. They deserve far more attention and praise than they get. It is truly selfless work.
EACH has Ed Sheeran who does far more than Kate would ever dream of doing.
I wish they’d dump Kate but I can’t imagine any charity dumping a royal.
They tried and were told to get a celebrity to represent them, just to let Kate do the bare minimum and sweep it all under the rug.
Is it necessary to have new outfit every time you leave the house Kate?
I believe that the only way she will actually work is if she has a brand new, expensive outfit every time she “works”.
Ditto. 63 days of work (equal to two weeks of work for the rest of us) required $200,000 of new clothes last year? She has more than enough clothes. What she needs is to go shopping for a work ethic.
At some point she will surely have to clear out her cupboards? If she tries a Diana style auction I wonder how much interest there would be? I know she does pull out items she has had for years sometimes, but her wardrobe space must be enormous. I wonder if it all properly catalogues as it is for Sophie?
Oh god, an auction of hundreds of beige shoes, dresses and suits in one color with no decorative accents, and dozens of pairs of Kiki earrings that all look the same in the light and are too small to notice anyway.
Oh I agree Birdy. As to the cataloguing of her vast wardrobe, I can’t think it’s been done. How does one explain all the lace and blue and frilly white blouses? Buy in haste and repent at leisure (while you shop to replace!). Or just too lazy to dig through and easier to purchase new similar. That’s a 1%er problem I wouldn’t mind having myself 😉
In my opinion Birdy, I doubt a lot of Kate’s clothing would be too damaged to be sold. Why do I think this? As you know, I sew. I’ve noticed Kate’s habit of having dresses lifted at the waist and if she can the side seams are taken in too. That means that if she lifts her arm then there is no “room for movement” in the dress and there will be stress on the side seams and most definitely at the point where the seams meet under the arms and in the armpit. Hence, those dresses are most probably good for one wear only. And I’d hate to have to clear out her wardrobes, considering how we have seen her in creased clothing, especially some of her coats, I’d say the closets are a mess with things jammed in! I doubt she has anything iconic in there, not like Diana who had a dresser and knew to take care of her clothing!
My grandmother was a tailor who made all my dresses when I was a child and I know exactly what you mean about ‘give’. It’s incredibly wasteful to treat clothes as useful for only one, or a few, wears. It’s all about vanity, though, isn’t it – having tight clothes to show off?
We often hear what Harry has to say when he is asked what it’s like to be a Prince. Sometimes, especially with smaller children, he tells them that he sadly has no crown or cape and doesn’t live in a castle. Recently when asked twice on his tour of the Caribbean by older children he talked about the good and the bad.- the responsibilities but also the huge opportunities he has as he was born with a “natural platform” to make a difference. Maybe Kate could take some inspiration from him.
Another green dress suit, to add to the variety of other green dress suits she has in her dressing room. It looks like it’s made out of astroturf. Arms are too short, skirt is too small around the hips. Why didn’t she just take the next size up? Because she has to buy the 6 right Kate? Hobbs is one of my favourite shops but I’m not struck with this and shoes in the style of the Tods would have more suitable than those Gianvito Rossi pumps which with the tight skirt made her look a bit like a suburban office worker. 1 hour is not acceptable, two hours is and for goodness sake impose a standard of dress on Ms Deacon. She looks like a burst cushion and what with bare legs, unkempt hair and too short hemlines she looks a complete scruff.
But Kate looked happier than normal, she interacted well with the children apart from that ridiculous answer, and she look quite refreshed today. And her make up looked lovely.
You said it for me, +1
I love your comments, Mrs BBV! You always sum up the tailoring so well. And your British sayings are so fun! Ex: “looks a complete scruff.”
“She looks like a burst cushion” …that is the best thing I have read and absolutely perfect.
She looks happy for once which is good, and at ease.
I know it’s superficial but I suggest eyebrow extensions or eyebrow make up. Her eyebrow in the earrings photo is way too short.
I’m close to her age and at our age we need to reinvent our stye from when we were in our early 20s which is now 10 plus years ago. I found giving my thin eyebrows a make up over to the longer fuller modern style really lifted my face.
I’m sure Kate has the money and access to the best eyebrow technicians. That and wearing her hair up more would see her a bit more updated. I know first hand it’s easy to cling to the style from when you were younger but you have to move with the times. It freshens you to do so. Kate has looked exactly the same for too long now.
Eyebrow wiglets? I never knew such things existed.
She wears her eye makeup like her mother with the heavy eyeliner and its basically a style from the 90s. Her long hair is also a security blanket and she needs it cut because she still twirls and pays with it way too much for an adult.
She looks fresh, relaxed and has a lovely tan. A secret ski holiday perhaps ?
The bright colour of her suit was a good choice for visiting children. The stilettos, however, made clear that she was there rather to grace people with her presence than for “work”.
Could anybody imagine Princess Sofia saying, that the best thing of being a princess is being well looked after by her husband ?
I am thinking that some things will never change. Especially, when it comes to Kate needing to be taken care of by her husband, The Queen, her own Mum, and so on. Her reply to the child’s question made me want to scream. Didn’t want to wake my youngest who is home sick, though.
Look, I like it when my husband is caring toward me, but I am pretty damn capable, too. And, I take care of him, too. Solid relationships are a two-way street.
I loved the response above — and I forget who said, it so my apologies — re: the wonderful replies Harry has given to kids when they ask him what it’s like to be a Prince. Kate, Kate, Kate!
I’m still shaking my head. Just imagine what the child might have enjoyed hearing. And, as others have said, in her response, she could have mentioned how lucky she is to be able to meet so many wonderful children and their families.
At any rate, the suit didn’t thrill me. Especially for an event where she had to lean down and talk to children. And, the collar? Oh, no, I hated it. So school marm-like.
She did look more relaxed and friendly, so that’s a plus. I’m glad she visited the Hospice. The children and their families and the staff need to be appreciated!
As to her comment of being a Mum and being able to imagine the mother’s pain, I cringed. Let the woman have her moment. Give her a hug. Take her hands in yours, but don’t keep pulling out the Mummy card. It’s just not a very nice thing to do, imo. It’s that woman’s moment. Let her enjoy it and have her own feelings acknowledged without bringing it back to you Kate.
Is it bad that my first reaction when I saw that Kate finally made a visit to a hospice was “it’s about damn time” ? Because that’s what I thought.
Having said that, I think Kate did a good job with the kids. She seemed more natural and I liked hearing her real voice because she didn’t seem to be trying to sound so posh. Like others have stated, I didn’t like the response she gave the four-year-old. Firstly, I am tired of Kate always saying that William has to take care of her. You are a 35-year-old woman, Kate. You can take care of yourself. But secondly, as a nanny, I am surprised that the mom of a three-year-old thought that this response would be age appropriate for this little girl. That seems strange to me. Something like “It’s wonderful to be a princess, the best part is that I get to meet many people and special little girls like you.” Or engage with the little girl a bit more and ask her “what would you like to know?” Most likely, she would have asked Kate if she had a tiara and Kate could have said that she got to wear one on her wedding day when she married her handsome prince. Something like that.
I remember that shortly after her marriage, Kate gave this same answer to an older woman in a walkabout. Maybe the answer was OK to give an adult, but a four-year-old wants to believe that Kate is a fairy tale princess. So play along a bit, Kate.
I also would have liked to see Kate give a speech, but I am glad she at least visited. Although since she has so few patronages I hope she will make at least one more visit this year, and that she will attend the end of the year fundraiser that Ed Sheeran performed at last year.
I don’t normally talk about Kate’s clothes since I have just accepted that we don’t have the same taste, but how is it that Kate manages to find clothes that feel simultaneously too schoolgirl-ish and too matronly at the very same time? I have noticed this with a lot of her clothes. They look too young and too old simultaneously.
I wish Kate would pull her hair back or accessorize with a fun bracelet sometimes. To the above poster who asked if maybe Kate would auction her clothes like Diana did: I don’t think people would buy them. No matter what People Magazine tries to say, Kate is not fashionable. She can look very pretty, but she really isn’t what I would call “stylish”. The Queen manages to look always appropriate, never trendy, and yet still fashionable. The young Queen wore some positively gorgeous gowns by Norman Hartnell. She never overdid it or was as into fashion as Margaret, but she always looked appropriate. I wish Kate would speak to one of the women who work with Angela Kelly so that Kate could have a proper stylist/dresser. Angela Kelly has been so great for the Queen.
You said pretty much what I wanted to say 🙂
Incredibly random questions (perhaps members of our UK community may be able to answer them):
1) Are the schools invited to bring their students to wait for royal arrivals and departures?
2) who decides which schools get the nod? How?
3) why is it that we hardly ever see groups school children (or even adults) that are more reflective of the UK’s racial mix? This is particularly strange to me as I would image that schools esp. state schools are quite diverse.
4) are schools required to get permission from parents or guardians for their child to be used a ‘rent-a-crowds’ at outside royal engagement venues? Why would they even consent to this esp. in 2017?
5) how often do the the royals interact with these school children, apart from the few chosen to present flowers?
6) do these children miss out on actual school work and do they have to play catch on their own? Or do their classmates who don’t attend have “free periods” at school? Either way, it seems quite disruptive.
7) In this day and age is it even necessary to have crowds esp. School children, who are missing out on valuable classroom time, wait to watch/wave during royal arrivals and departures. Yes, it strokes a royal ego or two but how do the children benefit? Surely seeing someone from a far in person is no different to seeing them on the TV.
I know my questions are quite strange but I often find myself wondering these things when I see children in uniform waiting around for the royals esp. because the some royals are quick to point out that they aren’t celebrities and don’t want to be treated as such. I’d love it if anyone would be able to explain this whole thing to me. Thanks in advance:)
I’m not British so can’t answer the legalities of dragging kids out of school to act as a free crowd pretending to be fans. It’s something I’ve commented on before when young folk are trotted out to give an impression of support for the monarchy. All about optics for the media. It’s untruthful and completely unnecessary. The kids ‘get out’ of school but at some point, learning is disrupted unless the lesson that day is ‘learning your place’. And the exaggerated cheers are a tad desperate.
@jen, thank goodness I am not the only one who thinks crowds to see William, Kate and Harry are smaller now than ever.
Thanks so much for asking these questions Em! I’ve often wondered the same things myself, so I’m hoping someone answers. I’m about to become a mom for the first time, and I think I would be incredibly mad if my child were dragged out to be part of a “rent-a-crowd” especially if it was without my consent.
I would love to know the answers to these questions
I can’t speak for the UK, but in Australia (I’m a teacher), a student cannot leave school grounds during school time without a reason and permission, in writing, to the school. This rent-a-crowd thing would be classed as an excursion, and a permission form would need to be filled out by the parents or guardians prior.
I can’t imagine it would be different. It would be presented to parents as a great opportunity to see a member of the Royal Family. Note the EACH flags for each child in attendance too. All PR. Principals should issue a blanket ‘no’ to such requests unless it is in the child’s educational interests to attend.
Wow, she really sounds like a real human vs. a scared puppet! I agree with our usual collective criticisms. But I have to say she’s pretty normal with kids in what’s not an easy situation. The suit is nice. Not that she needs another but since she has it, I do think it would be good to see the jacket paired with jeans and the wedges some of us love (and own) and others hate.
The blouse is just horrid. Assuming she ever trots it out again, I will likely hate it with whatever it’s paired with.
I do love those shoes and must thank the DOC for introducing me to the line. I wore my nude leather 105s to work yesterday and made it almost all day without a shoe change. They’re as manageable as can be at that height.
As for being “looked after…” Well, she is. It’s genuine. I don’t think she ever wanted to take on the world. Might not be the role model I’d want for my imaginary daughter, but there are still worse out there. She is what she is. I’ve never had a desire for kids, so it’s very hard to put myself in the shoes of someone who wants four! I think that if she’d just relax and learn to ignore all of us and be comfortable in her skin; she might find her place in this role and use it for good. Something about her tone and comfort in this video gives me hope. Maybe false. Anyone else agree?
yup, at least one here …
What’s it like being a princess? “It’s exciting because I get to bring attention to important causes, travel around the world, and meet new people all the time — like you!” So easy. Can I have her job?
I know I might be alone on this one, but her constant need to appear tall and slim drives me nuts. She’s here with children. Wear some nice flats.
Jay, I hear you, and maybe she would if she wasn’t being photographed non-stop. But she is. And I promise you I would also be crazed about looking tall and slim if I knew it would end up all over the DM. Maybe this is a character flaw both KM and I have. I could accept that!
All she needs to do is look presentable and professional like the rest of us common folk. It’s supposed to be about the children, isn’t it? Pants and flats would have been appropriate. But all she cares about is the cameras.
“Many people criticize this go-to line from Kate saying it makes her seem immature and incapable, but since that’s been talked about before I want to bring up another thing which this line makes Kate seem: privileged. And it’s not just about the fact that Kate wants for nothing and everyone takes care of her, it’s the fact that she doesn’t see how rude that would be to say to children and families who are dealing with life-limiting conditions, or underprivileged children who can’t afford to go camping, or whomever else she’s said this to. We know you’re privileged, Kate; get a new talking point.”
I actually forgot what my handle was, but you emailed last year after my comments were very unpopular on the site. So I’m giving my real name. I have nothing to hide, so here it is. I saw that Catherine’s line about being a princess and getting taken care of is getting the militant feminists up in arms. I don’t follow this blog anymore, but I was curious about this particular day, and you did make a lengthy comment on what she said.
I asked a friend of mine about what Catherine said and neither of us could find fault in it. The reason why is that we’re black and married or not our identity will never be only Mrs, which is why being a Mrs isn’t considered backwards. I recall that Beyonce titled one of her tours Mrs. Carter because that’s just how it is with black women, and it seems with women of color who have strong ties to their traditional communities.
I read another article where a women wrote all about Catherine setting women back when she should be a feminist role model for little girls. I laugh at that because celebrities or royalty are not role models for women of color since we are generally excluded from the mainstream media which is the white media. Some of us may love Beyonce or Riri but it’s our mothers, aunts, grandmothers, and female family friends who are the real role models for life. Some may want to emulate Beyonce’s success, but very few will actually put her over the women in their family. That’s one of the few perks of being a minority and living in a tighter more obvious culture than what white women have.
How does some white woman who dresses well and likes being pampered by her HUSBAND really set me as a woman back? Or any woman, really. If I were married I’d gush over my man too because even if the media (white media) only refers to me as his wife then I’d know and other black women would , and other minority women, would know that that I’m still my own person. I think that white women don’t have that protective culture the way minority women do.
Whatever Catherine or Melania or Princess Sofia does has nothing to do with me and my status as a person. If I were a princess I’d gush over it too. I’d be proud of it because it’s a high status that wouldn’t take away from me. I don’t need feminism to tell me to be as masculine as possible to have self-autonomy. I was born powerful as a female and I’d be feminine in my pink and my heels knowing that none of that diminishes my power.
The best example of this is our former First Lady. She was proud to be a wife and mother, but she never got flack for that. Then Amal Clooney gets flack for even taking her husband’s last name. Living under the standard of white feminism is stifling! Being traditional is not being regressive and a traditional woman is still a powerful woman. A weak woman is one who has to have social approval to do anything, and that seems to be the standard for feminism these days. So I applaud Kate for enjoying her privilege beacuse her always complaining about it or ignoring would be annoying.
I think white people think that if they point fingers at other more privileged whites then it helps to lesson their white guilt. In reality white guilt does nothing for any minority because the emphasis is on the white person alleviating their guilt instead of it being real altruism aimed at combating racism.
So I do not care that Catherine is happy that her husband takes care of her, as he should, because that’s her life. Sometimes men do save us and sometimes we save them, or at least we support the other to want to save themselves. It’s always been that way, and there’s no weakness in tradition.
I do get, though, why white women are riled up. This isn’t the first time I had to thank God he made me not white. White women live under a standard that I’m not privileged to have, and sometimes that’s a very good thing.
So my entire point to this is that there are different views on every topic that involves women, and it would really be great if more white women understood that their views on life is not universal. That’s what annoying about white privilege, the assumption that whatever white women do or think is the standard for all women.
You make many assumptions and how did this become a race issue. To me, this is a site where we can air our opinions no matter who we are, race, color and religion is not a factor. Also I am puzzled, if you do not follow this blog anymore then how did you see other people’s comments. Annette, I have said my piece and I will make no other comments to your remarks.
“I don’t need feminism to tell me to be as masculine as possible to have self-autonomy. ”
You lost me right there- clearly you have little knowledge or understanding of feminism. I pretty well stopped reading after that.
Why are you making this a polarising racial issue? There are women of many colours commenting on Kate. If you want to make a cultural distinction fine, but not at the expense of everyone else- it doesn’t make the well-reasoned opinion bys on this site by others any less valid.
I don’t really see the point in your polemic except to be condescending and divisive. Well done on that score.
I’m not sure if your comment is supposed to be only directed at me and my comments on Kate’s response to the little girl or if it is supposed to be directed toward everyone.
I understand your points, but I stand by my comments. My comments are not about feminism or race; they are about PR.
Kate has had the same exact talking point for 6 years – it’s old, it’s boring, and she needs a new one. It’s not that Kate can’t be happy that she gets taken care of by her husband if that’s what she wants, it’s that she’s had the exact same talking point for 6 years and she needs to vary it up in order to be interesting.
On top of that, but still in the PR category, Kate doesn’t read her audience – or she’s reading the wrong audience. Someone above said she’s replying as if her audience is the media, when her audience is actually the person who asked the question. A 4 year old girl who loves princesses doesn’t want the same answer that an adult woman does, even though it’s the same question. The 4 year old who loves princesses probably wants to hear about tiaras and ballgowns, whereas the adult woman may want to hear about husbands and being taken care of. One can answer the same exact question various ways depending on one’s audience; so if Kate actually paid attention to her audience she would have different responses instead of the same one over and over and it wouldn’t be so boring.
The reason I brought up privilege is because Kate is too stuck in her own little bubble to understand the PR aspect of answering that question. Both to the points I made above, and to the fact that her comment made her seem self-centered rather than a dutiful royal. To compare Kate’s response to another royal’s response to the same question: Harry at least understands the PR aspect of answering this question, even if he doesn’t always live it. When asked what it’s like being a prince, Harry talked about being born with a platform to do good things, and about spending the rest of his life earning the privilege he was born into. While I don’t necessarily think his actions have always lived up to his words, this was a great response PR-wise. Kate’s wasn’t.
+1 thank you for this really reasonable response to a pretty out there comment. I appreciate that you didn’t pull out the “this is racist” card and simply responded to the comment.
They only thing I’m going to address is this:
“I don’t need feminism to tell me to be as masculine as possible to have self-autonomy.”
If this is what you think being a feminist is about, you’re missing the point. Feminist want equal pay instead of earning .80 to their male counterparts $1.00. That in today’s society there are only about 4-5% women CEO’s in Fortune 500 comanies. That the only reason I could want to go out of state for college was to get my MRS. Degree. That men addressed me as “lil lady and honey” It’s also about thinking men should get paternity leave like women get maternity leave. It’s about equality for both the sexes and I’m sorry that you don’t see that.
No one is saying she or others can’t revel in being married, what we’re saying 1) wrong answer to a 4 yr old 2) almost all of her statements regarding people are about how they can take care of her!
Thank you, Annette. This is a well-expressed alternate view point, which is certainly quite welcome. I find it useful to hear opinions of the more traditional women of color, such as yourself, in addition to all others expressed on this blog. Please do visit us from time to time in the future. Chime in as necessary. 🙂
Wow what a racist comment! Since you made a lot of assumptions, I am going to assume you only commented on here to rile people up. It must make you feel good in some odd way. I don’t really have anything else to say except your racism kind of made me sick.
Overit, I don’t think there was anything racist about her comment.
I certainly don’t agree with many aspects of it, particularly her use of stereotypes to describe feminism, but feminism as a whole is not particularly open or appreciative of a black woman’s perspective. As a WoC and a feminist, I can’t fault Annette for feeling like white feminism is not for her. Because it’s not, and it’s shameful that people continue to stand behind feminist perspectives that are so lacking in intersectionality.
To further clarify, I am of the mind that “reverse racism” doesn’t exist. The power dynamics that make racism harmful don’t apply when an oppressed minority is doing the talking. It may offend you (and maybe rightfully so), but Annette’s comment and how she views the world does absolutely nothing to change the fact that white women hold much more power than WoC. In other words, you’ll be fine. Be offended, but recognize your privilege before accusing others of racism.
First off you made a huge assumption about my race. You assumed I am white, when you have no idea if I am black, Asian, Hispanic, Latin, Native American or a mix there of. But my race doesn’t affect a racist comment. My race has no regards in being able to identify racism.
The fact that you called it ‘reverse racism’ is racism in and of itself. There is no such thing as reverse racism since the definition of racism doesn’t say a specific skin color or refer to only minorities. Racism can affect ever person and most of us have felt at one time or another.
Def. of Racism: prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one’s own race is superior.
I am not sure what is worse, the fact that you don’t see the racism with this comment and now yours. Or the fact that you think only certain people can feel racism. And my privilege or lack there of, since you assumed, has nothing to do with seeing racism and calling it out. And fyi, I am not the only one that said this comment was racist!
“racism doesn’t say a specific skin color or refer to only minorities. ” > I don’t know the dictionary definition, but here in Brazil the term racism is 100% about minorities since it invokes the oppression suffered by them. So while we say you can be prejudiced or discriminatory towards a white person, you can’t be racist because they haven’t been oppressed. Same with sexism towards men. I thought it was the same in the US/UK.
There are certainly critiques to be made about intersectionality in feminism, but none of that relates to Kate and her childlike attitude to be taken care of. If we were taking about Meghan Markle there would at least be a connection to race issues, but Kate has done nothing for white Britons much less those who aren’t white. She just does nothing.
As for the feminists are this and that stuff… sorry I don’t take it seriously. I don’t see Roxane Gay praising Kate and her laziness and I would place her at the top of any discussion of feminism and intersectionality. Kate is simply a non entity.
I think saying Meghan Markle said or did something that made her seem shallow, self-centered, or oblivious to her financial privilege is just as much about race as saying those things about Kate: not at all.
For example: I’ve read quite a few of Meghan’s Tig celeb interviews and think the questions, which Meghan proudly stated she came up with herself, are incredibly shallow and lacking of any substance at all. It is actually quite annoying because she got some big names to do her interviews and she asks six completely superficial questions which elicit boring answers. My criticism of Meghan’s shallow interview questions has nothing to do with race and everything to do with Meghan’s shallow interview questions. It wouldn’t matter if it were Meghan or Kate who came up with them, the questions are still shallow and boring.
I completely agree with everything you just said, KMR. Those questions in her interviews seem more like something out of Teen Bop magazine. So very superficial. And pointing that out has nothing to do with race.
I am also struggling to understand Annette’s comment because I don’t see how any of us saying Kate’s comment to a four-year-old was not age appropriate is somehow “racist”. If Kate wants to be taken care of by her husband that’s fine. But this little girl didn’t ask her “how is your marriage, Kate?” she asked her “what is it like to be a princess?” in her mind, Kate was like a Disney cartoon come to life. Kate should have played along a bit more with this little girl’s fairy tale fantasy. That has nothing to do with race. And I don’t assume that I know the race (or gender or nationality or religion) of any of the commenters here.
How is this a race issue. Fact is, most women will never be in a position to be taken care of by a man. Most men, even on a good salary, do not earn enough to keep a woman and children in a middle class lifestyle. Things cost too much.
It is just not going to happen. If it does, great! If you can afford to be a stay at home spouse your whole life I have no issue with that unlike some feminists. Work is a crapshoot, if you by some way don’t have to work that’s freakin awesome.
But that is a tiny minority of women. So it is just not good to have women like Kate being held up us role models or going on about being kept. Young women need to know it’s not gunna happen! Most women will be lucky if they can get a couple years off with the kids. Don’t give people some fantasy that a man will take care of you. Won’t happen for most women.
There is nothing wrong with being traditional and actually most white women take their husbands name. But if you want to live a good life you need to be working for most of your adult life as a woman and at least part time. Hardly anyone gets to just be kept their whole life, not just when kids are little but forever. I don’t think that happens in the black community either.
Many concerned women look at Kate who did nothing but be kept by her parents then her husband and just shop and take holidays and want young women to know that that will NOT be their life and they need to get a job because chances are slim they get Kate’s life and it’s really not that much to aspire to.
Well said, Ribbons
Your last paragraph made a very good point. My issue with Kate is what I feel is a lack of balance in her life. You can be a wife and mother and still be a hard working member of the BRF.
I resent the fact that all black women are the same and that traditional black women adhere to the same traditions the world over.
I’ve lived in enough countries arond the world to know this isn’t true.
I wouldn’t make such a generalisation about Asian or white women, so why are bleack women treated as a monolith.
Traditional values as enjoyed by Americans, whatever their race, are not the same traditional calues enjoyed by women in other parts of the world, irrespective of race.
This comment is racist AND ignorant (urban and oxford dictionary definitions)
+1 Exactly! I agree with the majority view in regards to Kate’s comment, and I’m a black woman myself. It shouldn’t have anything to do with race lol
She isn’t being pampered and financially supported by her husband. He doesn’t even purchase her gifts – she buys them for herself with the corporate credit card. Everything they have is due to the taxpayers and his position as third highest royal in the British Royal Family.
It is a family firm, paid for to the tune of $600 million a year by the taxpayers. The youngest vice president wants to raid the corporate retirement account to support himself and his lazy wife while the pensioners keep working.
This is what she inspires, and yes, it is anti-feminist
Sadly, by virtue of the position she married into, Kate is a de facto ‘role model’ for some girls.
The link you give, nota, is a sad indictment of young girls/women thinking it a viable career option to prostitute themselves for a supposed ‘good life’ they are not prepared to either imagine or earn for themselves. Trouble is, such women will always and only be a commodity, easily disposed of when a better model comes along.
The perpetuation of fragility as an underlying narrative is just appalling and simply untruthful. The Middleton’s went after their catches with steely resolve. It’s power and money the sisters/family are after.
Do you all remember Diana visiting Grandma’s House in NY and one of the children asking if her carriage was outside. Diana picked her up, carried her outside and took her for a ride in her car. And those little tea parties she used to throw at KP for children who were terminally ill who wrote to her. And Princess Madeline’s Princess Tea-party at the palace in Sweden. That’s how to be a Princess. Kate just doesn’t have a clue……instead of being looked after she should be looking after these poor children and bringing some joy into their tragically short lives.
Wow. Diana was a amazing. For be; she and Grace were the epitome of being a princess.
Mrs. BBV, what a charming way to remember Diana for that child. She was one amazing woman.
+ 1 jenny. I am forever a Diana fan.
I just think Diana was such a kind and caring person. She reallly understood children, the ill, the elderly and the disenfranchised. Her life was short, but her memory lives on. I doubt WIlliam would have married Kate if his Mum were still alive. Carole would have had nothing to do to entice Wills, because he still would have his own Mum. Still, I can’t help but wonder, if Diana would have liked someone like Kate.
I don’t think she would have, but who knows.
I am with you, NLopez, I am always going to be a Diana fan, too.
Kate could have said darling , I waited 10 years to get to where I am today. I’m married to A prince. And maybe someday everyone will call me princess kate . But thank you for asking . I’m only a duchess for now .
As with practically everyone else, Kate’s reply to what it is like to be a princess that “she is very well looked after by her husband” irritated the heck out of me. It just shows how after nearly six years of being part of the BRF she still does not see being a princess or duchess or having any sort of royal title is a job unto itself. On George’s birth certificate even William put down Kate’s occupation as “princess of the UK,” but Kate seems to view her position only as a state of being, if that makes sense. A passive position as opposed to an active role.
I don’t even think that Kate makes this sort of comment repeatedly to please the media. I think Kate’s audience–as she sees it–consists solely of William. Keeping his attention, his focus and desire on her is her only goal.
Yes! Most especially your last 2 sentences. How else can she justify her daily actions and attitudes if William’s happiness/attention is not her complete focus. It’s been that way since the very beginning of their relationship and they are still acting out the master and his courtesan role, which I’m sure was very titillating for them both at the time. But 15 yrs later?? Just ugh. Grow up you two.
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