Goodness, Cressida’s PR campaign is in full swing these last few days.  There is a Telegraph article, and a Daily Mail article, both full of quotes from “friends” and “sources” and “relatives” all about Cressida and Harry’s relationship.  Camp Bonas is really putting that publicist to work.

Let’s start with the Telegraph article (I wrote this bit about the Telegraph before I saw the DM one).  It’s pretty much the same stuff we’ve been hearing from Camp Bonas: Harry wants to marry Cress right away, but Cress is not so sure; Cress is such a tough, independent girl and doesn’t put up with any of Harry’s BS.  The typical line.  I suppose the newest bit—and the purpose of the article—is to debunk the idea that their two public appearances last weekend were a sign of an imminent engagement.  Yeah, I’m pretty sure their two public appearances were more a sign of PR machinations—to divert attention away from Will and Kate’s vacation—than an imminent engagement.

Camp Bonas says about Cressida: “she is terrific fun. She is very funny, incredibly affectionate, incredibly sweet. Harry won’t find anyone better than her because there isn’t anyone better than her.”  Slow your roll, Cressida’s publicist who really wants to get Cress that tiara.  You will not win over the public with empty words in press releases, you will win over the public by being a hard working royal with a fun personality, and (I hate to say it because it’s so superficial) great style.  Cress has shown none of that so far, so don’t BS us.

There is an interesting quote about what Cressida did after Harry’s naked Vegas photos.  The source said:  “[Cressida] was staying with her father when the Las Vegas story broke.  She had a heart to heart with her family who told her Harry would be very lonely and very upset, and if she still wanted him as a boyfriend she should grab him and take him off somewhere, and that’s what she did, they went to stay with her aunt and they got through it.”

What?  So was she upset about the photos, seeing as he was her boyfriend at the time, or did she not give a sh-t, or what?  Her feelings aren’t mentioned.  What this does tell me is that her family is definitely invested and wants this relationship to succeed, no matter what he does to her.  It also tells me her family understands some Wales boys psychology, since having Cressida stand by and comfort him during his “time of need” was probably something that really brought out Harry’s feelings for her, since she’s so loyal and all that crap that the Wales boys pride over almost everything else when choosing friends and mates (with the exception of secrecy, that takes #1).

The Daily Mail article is along a similar line, except it talks about some other more interesting bits, like how Lady Mary Gaye Curzon is Carole Middleton 2.0.  The article doesn’t shy away from saying how much Cressida has learned from Kate’s mistakes and is playing the “snagging a royal husband” game better.  Hilarious.  It certainly doesn’t fail to mention all of Cressida’s stupidity that she moronically shared on Facebook, before her profile went private.  They also don’t shy away from mentioning how many times Camp Bonas has leaked info about Cress and her relationship to the media (it’s a lot, especially in the last 6 months).  They even gave her a nickname: Clingy Cressie.  Amazing.  I’m only going to quote the stuff about the mother, because that’s the best part (the rest is journalistic housekeeping).

Rather like Kate was successfully guided through the unpredictable terrain of dating a king-in-waiting by her ambitious mother Carole, Cressie is also being carefully watched by her impressive mother… Lady Mary Gaye Curzon [Lady MG].

Certainly, the coup of marrying her youngest daughter into royalty would be something of a jubilant double whammy for the [mother]…

A year ago, another of her five children, Isabella… married Sir Richard Branson’s son Sam…

All agree that the prospect of an engagement to Harry is something that fills Cressida’s mother and father… with undiluted excitement.

‘If she had Branson’s son and heir and Prince Harry as son-in-laws, Lady MG really would have excelled in matrimony at last,’ one of her circle said this week.

Another agreed the 67-year-old would be ‘doing back flips’ if, as expected, the romance ends in marriage sooner rather than later.

It is Cressida’s mother, they say, who counselled her to play it cool in the early days of the couple’s almost two-year courtship.

‘The feeling throughout has been, “Don’t push things, let it happen naturally,” ’ one says.

But, again, all-too recent history bears a heavy weight on Cressie’s family. They don’t want Lady MG’s close relationship with her daughter to be compared with Carole Middleton’s suspected machinations with her daughter and Prince William.

One family source very close to Lady MG… said: ‘I can absolutely assure you that stories that exaggerate the support or role of her mother are nonsense. It’s always done slightly salaciously and with invidious comparisons to others, which is not nice.’

LO freaking L.  Good god, the way they refer to Cress’s mother’s thoughts about who her daughters marry is absolutely insane.  This psycho sounds like if Isabella and Cress said they wanted to marry the dog-walker from [insert poor, unsuitable part of Britain here], she’d disown them.  She sounds like she doesn’t give a sh-t about her daughter’s true happiness, she just wants the prestige, and money, that comes from having her daughters marry rich and/or titled men.  I understand being excited, I really do, but this is too much.  Be happy, be excited, but don’t be “doing back flips” and say you’ll have finally found martial success—especially when it’s not your marriage and you claim to have had no part in pushing the relationship forward; the only reason the success of the marriage would be on you is if you Carole Middleton-ed their relationship.  Oh, and I don’t believe her defense for a second, not least of which because if she really hasn’t been pulling strings she would have worded her defense differently.